Just checking in to say hi

Cindy · 01-13-2005, 09:01 AM

I just wanted to pop my head in and say hi to everyone and let you know I haven't forgotten about you...or the forum.

I've been incredibly busy these past couple of weeks. I won't bore you with all the details. But one bit of BIG news I have is that our son John has been transferred out of Iraq and sent to do a job in Kuwait for the remainder of his deployment!! WOO HOO!! We are SO relieved that he is out of the "hellhole" as he calls it and is somewhere safer. We can finally sleep at night.

But it came with a bit of a good news/bad news catch. He was detached from his battalion and attached to a different one to go work on logistics and embarkation for several battalions that are going to be moving out and others who will be replacing them throughout the next few months. But his deployment has been extended by one month.

Now he is scheduled to come home April 15th rather than March 15th. WE think it's worth the trade-off though. He's not so sure.

He's been a bit depressed since he arrived in Kuwait. He misses his buddies...hates being detached from his unit and out of the loop on what is going on with them, worries about them...hates the fact that he won't be a part of all the homecoming festivities that are being planned for the battalion. He's afraid everybody will forget him by the time he gets home.

Everybody says it's natural for a Marine to go through what he's feeling. He has some guilt over the fact that he's in Kuwait and most of them are still out there in a very rough situation that is getting tougher and more dangerous by the day. He's having to undergo a tough personal adjustment.

Just little things are strange to him...like the fact that he has had to carry his weapon loaded and constantly by his side at all times for the past six months and be always on the alert. He said when he got there and was walking around with his gun he was constantly being asked, "Is that thing loaded?" He was like...um...yes. They said, "We don't do that here. Put it on safety. And you don't have to carry it with you when you eat." They acted like he was nuts. Well, being in Iraq for six months will do that to you, ya know.

A few days after John left his post in Iraq, his battalion suffered another loss (their third in a little over a month). It happened during a convoy...on the same road he has travelled many times in convoys. It has been heartbreaking news to "our" battalion, which I am also a volunteer for since they are out of our hometown.

John doesn't know yet and we are trying to decide whether to tell him. I guess he has a right to know, but it's going to be very hard on him. He's pretty much alone right now to deal with this, since he doesn't know any of the guys he's been put with yet. It's like deja vu. See, when he had just finished boot camp and had been sent to North Carolina to start his training...two days into it his brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was pretty much all alone when he found out. He only got to come home on leave for 10 days and then was returned to complete his training. He said he felt so alone, not knowing many people yet, and it was the toughest thing he's ever gone through. That was five years ago. Now this.

While this is supposed to be a happy time for us, knowing that John is in a safer place -- and it IS -- it's still hard for me to deal with. With being so involved in his battalion and working with so many of the families, getting to know the moms and wives very well over the last nine months since the guys found out they were being deployed, we have all supported each other and gone through the exact same things together.

Now I'm in an awkward situation with our son not being part of that anymore. I haven't felt comfortable talking to anyone about this. I'm so afraid of how they will react or feel about the fact that their sons and husbands are still out there while our son got to leave. I don't know what to say to them. I don't want to be the "outcast" because they think I can no longer relate to what they're going through, or because they are jealous or whatever, so I just haven't said anything. But sooner or later some of them are going to find out.

I'm just in a tough situation. I was just getting up the courage to talk to a few of my closest friends in the battalion when the news came of this young man's death on Monday. Now it seems the timing would be all wrong. Our family is mourning his death also. I feel like these guys are all "my boys" in so many ways.

Okay, now that I've written a novel, I'll quit for now.

I hope everybody is doing well and enjoying their family. Hold them tight and appreciate them. That's my advice for the day.

Cindy

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 09:13 AM

Yeah Cindy that is such good news.

I'm very sorry about the other soldier. I would tell John when you can. At least he is now in a place better suited to handle his emotions.

Meanon · 01-13-2005, 11:03 AM

Hi Cindy, thanks for your PM - I'm doing fine now. That's great news about your son.

Think of how you would feel if the positions were reversed, you would want to know their son was safer and be glad for them, even if you were still worried for your own son. You'll probably still feel awkward by your relative good fortune but it may help to recognise that this is much more likely to be an issue for you and him than for them.

Whether or not you tell him about the loss in his battalion may well depend on how likely it is that he'll find out about it anyway. If it's unlikely, it may be better to wait until he has some support structure in place there. Also what he is currently suffering from is a form of "survivor guilt" having just left his friends in a more damgerous situation. This news will inflame that. There's bound to be a reaction whenever he hears it, but it may be less severe when he has adjusted to his new environment.

Merika · 01-13-2005, 02:05 PM

Great news about John being moved into Kuwait!!! There are some nice bases there and they have much more to chose from PX wise..as well as local shopping. The Mall in Kuwait City is great. It's still dangerous, but not NEAR as dangerous as being in th actual battle areas left in Iraq.

I know they form a brotherhood and it's very hard on them to lose one of their batallion. I don't know how they face the days and deal with it all. I guess since the beginning of time....war brings out the incredible courage that men have within their souls. Few women could handle it near as well.

Stone · 01-13-2005, 02:12 PM

God bless you and your faimly, Greg has been asking about your son, I told him he is in Kwaitt now, Greg was there for along time it was one of his favorite places, He says the bases are nice, and there is more to do ect.

Sorry to hear about his friend, I don't really have any advice to give on the subject

Just that I am sorry

Cindy · 01-15-2005, 10:48 PM

Thanks for the posts. I knew you guys would be happy for us.

Unfortunately, I have to say I've been very busy again. John's battalion suffered two more losses on Thursday. That makes four in five weeks. He didn't know these last two because they were in a different company.

It feels like the madness will never end. These guys are in one of the most dangerous areas right now, with the situation only getting worse. All we can say is John got out just in time.

Meanon, thanks for your perspective on things. I'm afraid you are right. I even had a soldier tell me online tonight that I should get him some help coping with this. I'm going to contact the Colonel I know at the base here and try to see if there is counseling available for John there in Kuwait. Three months is too long to wait for that process to begin. Lord help him when he finds out two more from his battalion are gone.

Duke · 01-16-2005, 01:38 PM

Sorry I somehow missed this post the first time around

I'm glad to hear your son is safe Cindy and I'm very glad for the "novel" you wrote on the subject. Just know that you and your family are always in our thoughts and our best wishes go out to all of you.

Cindy · 01-24-2005, 10:22 PM

John is doing better, staying busy. Thanks for your support.

I've been in pretty much constant contact with a couple of the Marines in his unit and things are going okay for now. They are gearing up for the elections and I'm getting the impression they will have a big part in the security aspect in the area where they are. Keep them in your prayers, as well as the Iraqi people who just want to vote and move on with their lives.

Duke · 01-25-2005, 06:10 PM

Thanks for the update Cindy, nice to see you again!

Merika · 01-25-2005, 09:41 PM

= For Cindy who misses her Son.....but knows he is following his courage.

Duke · 01-25-2005, 10:23 PM

I'm really glad that she takes the time to check in and keep us posted.