| General Discussion Fun topics that don't belong anywhere else. Life is already serious enough, this forum is for having fun. |
10-15-2005, 04:57 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 13,268
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Getting Prepared for Snow Ski Season
Ski season is just around the corner! Following is a list of exercises
to get you prepared:
16. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-
in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50
dollar bills to warm up.
15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after
every use.
14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of
your head before you go to bed each night.
13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared
on the lenses.
12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.
11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20
times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory
bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
Sporadically drop things.
10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them
with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your
toes.
9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to
run into you at high speed.
7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a
hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a
motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's
in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.
4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the
spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it
melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to
take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until
it's time for the real thing!
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I live in Florida...we don't have a snow ski season....so...Good Luck to the rest of you.
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10-15-2005, 05:19 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,777
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10-15-2005, 05:31 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 13,268
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I have no athletic skills. I can ride a mean surf board....and that's about it.  |
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10-15-2005, 05:34 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,740
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Luba
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You are not supposed to hit a ball, grab your skis in an attempt to get the ball back. Not to mention that you are not supposed to wear skiing glasses on the tennis court.
__________________
"Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers." -- Rainer Maria Rilke
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10-15-2005, 05:42 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 13,268
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LOL..somehow I can just imagine Luba showing up for Tennis while wearing all her Ski gear.  |
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10-15-2005, 05:59 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,777
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Merika
LOL..somehow I can just imagine Luba showing up for Tennis while wearing all her Ski gear. |
Aren't you supposed to?? 8O |
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10-15-2005, 06:00 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,777
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Merika
LOL..somehow I can just imagine Luba showing up for Tennis while wearing all her Ski gear. |
Merika, where DID you get that picture of me?  |
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10-15-2005, 06:02 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,740
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Luba
Aren't you supposed to?? 8O
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No. You might try ice-tennis though! Especially if the people in the NHL decide to strike again.
__________________
"Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers." -- Rainer Maria Rilke
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10-15-2005, 06:09 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 13,268
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Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO.....now I'll be picturing Luba in hockey gear!
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10-15-2005, 06:14 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,777
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Love that, Merika, you even got the length of the nose just right!! |
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10-15-2005, 06:27 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 13,268
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Maybe that's why we are soulmates....I have a big nose too! The southern name for potato is SPUD. So I call it my Spud Sniffer.  |
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10-15-2005, 06:40 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 12,777
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We call potatoes spuds, too! I think I heard the word "spuds" before "potatoes"!
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10-17-2005, 10:45 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The back of my mind.
Posts: 20,570
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Just so you non-skiers know, that was a joke, not at all what skiing is actually like. It's like anything, practice makes perfect.
It was a pretty funny joke tho |
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10-17-2005, 10:56 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: oklahoma
Posts: 5,764
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winter is so fun, i love the snow.
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