Dead or Alive

[Samson]

Yesterday, I whiled away about an hour in a familiar bar awaiting the end of son's soccer practice whilst reading the WSJ editorial page and fantasizing about how many posts using it I could make on more "liberal minded" discussion boards where I've recently implied that Mr. Dyer is simply a "cowardly nerd," for his opposition to allied forces in Iraq.

Wow, I could've started three or four threads with that sentence alone...BUT MY POINT IS:

One of my favorite, bisexual, multi-pierced, many tatted, Elizabethan English speaking, radical Bush supporter, part owner of a Magic Accessories Store, pagan, pool playing, bar waitresses shows up to give me a big hug and tell me what she's been up to during the past week: Modelling in Florida at the Annual Fetish Convention with her "fiance" Samantha. This weekend she'll begin working at the Tarot Card Reading Tent at the local Rainacence (sp???) Festival as a Gypsy Fortune Teller.

Should I feel a tad inadequate? Has "Tara" lived more of life in two weeks than I have in two decades? Interestingly, while I'm almost speechless around her, I also feel strongly compelled to say something like: Please could you just share a tiny piece of your life with the living dead that I feel I've become with a routine of job, family, weekends of soccer playing, and creating fantacy verbal jousts on a discussion board?

[Duke]

I wouldn't feel inadequate at all, quite the opposite really.

It took me a few reads to fully understand (or think I understand) the context of the post. In fact my tired mind did not put WSJ and Wall Street Journal together, a Google search did that :oops:

Although I haven't lived her life, I've lived a pretty exciting one up till my later twenties. I can tell you I had a lot of fun but most of it was due to my self-serving bs attitude toward screw the world, I'm doing it all good or bad. Does this mean my life is or was better than yours, absolutely not, just different?

I honestly think that you're bored enough in your own life that you're seeking fulfillment in the lives of others. Listening to your friend’s world wind adventures provides an escape outlet for your seemingly mundane lifestyle. Is your life mundane, or simply structured? Personally, I'd give anything to be in your shoes because I'm tired of the bs associated with partying and all the crap that goes with it. It's fun for a while but gets old very fast.

Also, is your friend truly happy? Just because she wears the mask of excitement doesn't necessarily mean she feels it behind closed doors. Maybe she is happy. Either way, no matter what she's doing her life is no better than yours. She is not better than you or more exciting than you.

It sounds to me like you may have fallen in a bit of a rut and need a way out or a temporary escape, if only for a few short hours a week. That’s what this bar has become for you, a Disneyland for the subconscious. You need to find an outlet that peaks your interest, challenges you, makes you happy, or otherwise fills the gap you feel you have in your life. It may sound easy but it probably isn't.

Maybe a deeper look into your life is in order. Talk to some friends, family or whomever you can trust to give you a truthful or insightful answer to who you currently are. I think posting on a board like this shows that you have some concerns but are unsure as to what they are and how to properly deal with them.

By the way, I hope I didn't post anything that may seem derogatory or negative. I may have even misread the post and just typed out my rear for the past 20 minutes, and for that I apologize. I am no expert and admit it openly. I'm just a guy who's seen the party, lived the party and eventually hated the party. Like everything, repetition gets old over time. You always need something new in your life to keep you happy and motivated. Maybe you're just missing something in your life and instead of looking inward for the solution, you're looking outward.

BTW, if I completely missed the mark then let me know. I thank you for the post though, it really made me think.

[Merika]

Samson, we've been net buddies for a long time and I find you ANYTHING but dead and boring.

I think it's possible, especially in a marriage which feels like a dead end, to feel you've come to the end of your options and choices. You just stand there quoting the movie title (is this) 'As good as it gets'?? That can be very depressing.

I'm a great believer in moving on. I stayed in a bad marriage to the point of wasting so many years....I will never live enough additional years to overcome the bitterness of it all. I don't wish that on anyone.

Everyone comes to crossroads when they have to remind themselves that they aren't a cat with nine lives. This is IT Bub....every day....every year COUNTS. Either you and Delilah are going to have to find a place of peace together.....or you'll have to pick up the pieces and move on.

You are young, handsome, vibrant, full of humor and life. Don't you dare piss it away giving yourself no credit for the man you are just because your circumstances are making you feel that way. Change the circumstances if you have to.....but don't second guess who you are, what you've accomplished or what you have to offer.

Here's your greenlight Sweetie....make a decision which way to turn. Whatever it is....you know you've got lots of friends supporting you!

[Duke]

Looks like I misread the post completely. :oops:

[Merika]

I don't think you misread it at all Duke.

It sounds to me like you may have fallen in a bit of a rut and need a way out or a temporary escape, if only for a few short hours a week. That’s what this bar has become for you, a Disneyland for the subconscious.

I think one of the drawbacks to being single or being married is that we both have a tendency to look over the fence and think the grass is greener on the other side.

I've been on both sides. Both has it's positives and negatives.

[Samson]

I would say that both Duke and Arabess have mede good inferences. I particularly like the analogy that the bar/poolhall is a "Disneyland for the subconscious."

I suppose being the "living dead" is quite a bit of an overstatement, and that there might be elements of my quite suburban life that others would envy. As mentioned, the grass is greener.

[Duke]

Thanks Samson.

After reading Merikas post I was expecting you to quote my short story and comment something like "are you on crack?" or "take both hands, put them on either side of your head, and pull your head out of your ass Duke".

[Merika]

Originally Posted by Duke

"take both hands, put them on either side of your head, and pull your head out of your ass Duke".

Knowing Samson's quirky sense of humor....I think he'd be more likely to give you a push and see how many times you roll over until you bump into something!
:helmuthead: You'd look kinda like THIS with no eyes!

[Duke]

Prolly have the same facial skin color too.