Actual Walmart Application by a 75 year old man

[Luba]

And they actually hired him because he was so honest and funny.

Name: (the name has been taken out)

Sex: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least, one who'll cooperate).

Desired Position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education: Yes

Last Position Held: Target for middle management hostility

Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

Reason for Leaving: It sucked.

Hours Available to Work: Any

Preferred Hours: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m.! Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday

Do you have any Special Skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

May we Contact your Current Employer? If I had one, would I be here?

Do you have any Physical Conditions that would Prohibit your from Lifting up to 50 lbs.? Of what?

Do you have a Car? I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?"

Have you received any Special Awards or Recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

Do you Smoke? On the job--no, on my breaks --no.

What would you like to be doing in five years? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

Do you certify that the Above is true and Complete to the Best of your Knowledge? Oh, yes, Absolutely.

Sign here: Sagittarius

[Star]

that is so funny!!! wonder if that would work for anyone applying for a job? LMAO!!

[Duke]

It's funny but I'm not sure I'd hire the guy. If he can't give you a straight answer on a resume then his work ethic can't be all that hot either.

[Merika]

Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle
-------------------------------

That would work for ME too!

[Luba]

That was funny! At 75, you don't really care to get a job anyway!

[TKDLady]

I would love to answer an application like that. Maybe someday.

[Fireblade]

He probably applied to get his old lady to stop bitching at him, most liekly assumed he wouldn't be hired for his age.

[PepsiChic]

lol i love when people fill out forms like that