Goals && Futures

[Dwoing]

I remember last summer when I made a scrapbook of my "future". In my scrapbook I had the number of bedrooms and bathrooms I would have and what design they would be. I would have expensive art artwork all over the inside of my mansion.

I would have two kids, a boy and a girl. They would be well behaved and respectful.

I also had planned out my college years. I would train for 8 years at SFU to be a lawyer. All the while maintaining my bills by working at the Keg and Shoppers Drug Mart ( all employees get 10-15% off of shampoo, make up, hair products etc).

All summer I planned everything, I looked up courses I could take at SFU, shopped for paint samples at Home Depot, looked at show homes in ikea...

This year though my entire outlook on my future changed...

I suddenly do not want to get married. Why would I want to give up my freedom?

Do not want to have kids. Why the responsibility?

Do not want to have a house. Why have a house when you live alone or with a room mate?

I suddenly realized that sure kids would be great, and a husband would be too. But why the stress? Why the loss of freedom? Unconditional love, maybe but why give up your life for that?

When you have kids (in my opinion) you give up the rest of your life to raise them and give them the best life they can have. But while you are doing that you are also giving up yours. Suddenly it coast 7-8 dollars an hour for a babysitter to come look after your kids while you have some "me time".


My cousin (VV's sister) and I are planning on moving in together when we move out of our homes. She is the exact same age as me and she too had a plan similar to mine last year, and this year too. She doesn't want a house, husband or kids either. So we are planning to live together in a huge condo, with walk in closets full of shoes and clothes. Live in a nice stylish place with lots of room. My father will move it too. She will be an orthodontist by then, and I will be a lawyer.

money can't buy happiness. But freedom can . You only live once and personally I don't want to give my life over to two kids and a husband.

This is just my opinion, and probably in time my opinions will change. I just wanted to bring it up to see other kid's opinions on this topic.

[PepsiChic]

very interesting to see how your plans have changed dwoing, and your right they will change more and more and more.

when i was younger, i was going to be a vet and study at college to be one, and live in a house with my best friend steph. we were going to cook great meals and do all the decorating ourselves!

we were going to have the comfiest couch in the world and big photos of all the fun things we done all over the walls. at that time i didnt want marriage or kids either. i loved planning out my freedom.

but now i look at my life, about 8 years on and im getting married in november and i cant wait to start a family with my husband-to-be, Fireblade.

and my opinons have changed. getting married doesnt mean i wont be free anymore, it just means i get to share my freedom with someone i love.

i still get to decorate a house and put photos up of my best friend steph, but i can also add photos of the children i'll have.

and i no longer want to be a vet, but i do have my own pets who i love beyond life!

so yes things have changed, but im pleased with the change. and even now at 21 years old, they will continue to change and expand and develop!

[Fayebelle]

Once upon a time I read something along the lines of TRUE WISDOM IS REALIZING HOW MUCH YOU DON'T KNOW




That always stuck with me and I thought of it when I was reading your post. I think it's a sign of maturity that you realize plans change, sometimes your own mind can be a mystery, that you are a work in progress.

[Duke]

I do agree that having a family may take away from the "me time" but if you love your family you become a unit and a team of me. I can see your viewpoint on kids dwoing but I can tell you without hesitation that making sacrifices for you were not based off of must they were done based off want. When you have a child your perspective on pretty much everything changes and while you may be sacrificing part of your life for your child the sacrifice you make is nothing compared to the experience of parenthood.

I understand your desires will change as you mature but I can only hope the one thing that doesn't change in your life dwoingle is my level of involvement in it.