When co-workers let you down....

Luba · 04-28-2007, 10:03 AM

what do you do? Especially the ones that you really like and surprise the heck out of you when they do...example: when they talk behind your back and you find out about it?

It happened to me this week and I was torn up about it....I'm trying to resign myself about it.

Star · 04-28-2007, 12:44 PM

there is "office drama" like this everywhere. I would confront the person who talked behind my back. then move on. i would just let her know what i know what she did and go on my business.

TKDLady · 04-28-2007, 07:35 PM

Unfortunately, I take most things like that too heart. If I considered them a good friend, I would probably be devastated and wouldn't handle it very well.

Luba · 04-28-2007, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tkdlady

Unfortunately, I take most things like that too heart. If I considered them a good friend, I would probably be devastated and wouldn't handle it very well.

I'm the same, especially if it's someone I really care about and respect! I did talk to her in a gentle way though I was very hurt. I told her if I didn't care as much for her, I wouldn't be so hurt. She apologized several times, and I still care for her...but something is missing within me at this time...

Vautrin · 05-01-2007, 10:11 AM

Depending on my job, I would for instance change their screensaver, and put it on.

"Inconsiderate user. Please replace with decent user."

twinkle · 05-01-2007, 03:58 PM

Happened to me once. The beauty was that they didn't notice I was in the room. I obviously turned blue with rage. Said nothing but at the middle of the schedule I asked her to have a cup of coffee with me. Told her that I thought it was best to tell me directly whatever problem she had with me and try to work it out instead of spreading bad rumours around. That I have no resentment towards her but I expect her to who the same work ethic towards me as I do towards her.

Of course, that person was the assistant... lol !!!

Adonaicole · 05-02-2007, 02:14 PM

"when they talk behind your back and you find out about it?"

I seriously could care less when others, even friends talk about me behind my back. I'm just glad, some part of my life is able to provide them entertainment...

Usually if you just be yourself, those vicious rumors have a way of fading by the wayside.

Luba · 05-03-2007, 08:16 AM

I just don't understand why people do talk behind others' backs. I HATE the word 'backstabbing'! Why can't a person just find a way to gently talk to someone about a problem? Instead of being confrontational why not just say "I'm feeling hurt because you said such and such" or just talk to the person involved and no one else, or write about the hurt in a journal, or just talk to a trusted friend about the hurt other than putting the person down, or pray about it. So many other options other than backstabbing!

About dealing with with my own anger,I try to put a two day deferral on it, to think about it and examine all angles and then when I've cooled off to try to put myself in the other person's shoes. That usually does it as I find some understanding about where he/she is coming from and find out that it's their own stuff they are dealing with, I just happened to be there when they needed to unload! It doesn't always work that way...but I continue to try....

Back to backstabbing..I just don't understand why it's so prevalent these days, especially in the workplace....