Feeling unsettled

[Stuarty]

hi there, I guess I would like to describe my situation, and hopefully a few of you can reassure me that 'things will work out', or give me some alternative perspectives!

I'm single, 32, and I changed my job 14 months ago, and moved to a new area. After a bad start, I'm enjoying it now, and I think I could make the work my career. During my job change, I was very focussed on the work I was doing, and my job being right. But now that seems OK, I have 'zoomed out' a bit and realised I think I may have been a bit too career oriented.

To explain, I'm thinking about how I might settle down, meet someone, have a family, those other important things; and I'm thinking ahead and wanting to find the answers as to how it might work out. I think my parents would like me to settle and start a family, and I would like to as well, but I realise now that for that to happen I'd hoped I'd live a bit nearer them (I live 200km from them), which I could, but it seems unlikely at the moment. Actually, I feel a bit guilty about that. I'm struggling to work out how to do these things .. does anyone else feel these kind of confusions ... maybe it's possible just to let things take their course, and find happiness?

I'm hoping some enlightenment will come!

thanks

[TKDLady]

First off, welcome to Lifesupporters. We are very happy you found us. As for your situation, I guess I am a bit confused. Do you want to move closer to your family before you settle down? Are you concerned about finding a similar job if you do? I guess first you need to be where you want to be as far as your job, your home, your own life before worrying about finding someone to share it all with. Once you are where you want to be the rest will probably fall into place. My best advice is don't obsess about any of it. That just seems to make things take forever to happen. It will happen. This is a very caring community and I am sure you will get plenty of information. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Duke]

Finding happiness, if I had the answers I'd have not a care in the world but it's always been a bit illusive in my life. For every good thing that has truly blessed me it would seem that there has been an offset of unsettling issues to deal with. I can't tell you if this is just a personal issue or perhaps some inner struggle that only I face but I can say that everyone I know struggles with issues as well.

I'm not even sure I believe that environment or location is the well from which happiness flows because it can come at you from nowhere. You may be able to stay the course and find happiness or you may relocate closer to home and find happiness; both solutions hold equal promise.

I think what you need to do is put some thought into what it is your looking for out of life and prioritize these needs. This may add a lot of perspective into what is truly important and actually pave the way for your future actions.

While career is important, location of said career may not be. You've obviously learned how to do the work effectively so is it necessary that you stay where you are for this kind of work, are there career opportunities in similar fields closer to home?

In my case, when I lived at home I don't believe I had the closest of relationships with my parents. This isn't their fault however, it was more some internal issue that had me too preoccupied to feel much of anything for anyone. Now years later I find that absence has made my heart grow fonder and I do believe that where I am today is a place where I'm the closest I've ever been with my parents. I see my mom all the time as she's now registered here and the last visit with my dad was the best in memory since my days as a young boy.

Here, there, anywhere, you can be happy but one place doesn't guarantee happiness over another.

Welcome to Lifesupporters.com Stuarty, look forward to hearing more from you.