Paternity Fraud

Luba · 11-03-2007, 08:36 AM

Okay, maybe I was hiding under a rock, but I honestly didn't realize this situation even existed, what a naive person I am!

On Dr. Phil last week was a man who found out after ten years of being a father and paying child support for I'm not sure how long, was told by his new wife to get a DNA test done because the child he thought was his didn't look at all like him. Sure enough, that was when his ex-wife told him the child wasn't his. A whole debate ensued on whether child support should be still be paid. One of the attorneys said he should still pay.

One of the guests said he had evidence he wasn't the father and the judge still ordered him to pay or go to jail. The judge also said he should have found out sooner since he already had paid for eleven years. This guest also said that over one million men are victims of paternity fraud.

All this brings me to the questions:
1) Do you think a Man should ask the SO/wife if the child she is carrying belongs to him?
2) Do you think a woman would tell the truth in a case like that if a man asked? (I guess the one million mark above tells me a lot of women don't)
3) Wouldn't it be totally unfair to the child to be duped like that, not to know her true birth father?
4) Would you even be caught in a situation like this?

Fireblade · 11-04-2007, 06:04 PM

My ex had an abortion and didn't even tell me about it, I found out from one of her friends. I'm not sure if it was even mine, she's my 'ex' because I caught her in bed with a friend.

I don't think you could say you wouldn't be caught in a situation like that, you never expect or want your spouse to cheat on you. I'd say the best you can do is hope, sadly.

Duke · 11-09-2007, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luba

All this brings me to the questions:
1) Do you think a Man should ask the SO/wife if the child she is carrying belongs to him?
2) Do you think a woman would tell the truth in a case like that if a man asked? (I guess the one million mark above tells me a lot of women don't)
3) Wouldn't it be totally unfair to the child to be duped like that, not to know her true birth father?
4) Would you even be caught in a situation like this?

What an absolutely ridiculous situation this is. Its quite obvious she d00ped this guy into paying for a child that's not even his which technically constitutes fraud and should be an indictable offense. While I see the moral and possible health implications of him no longer paying child support, I still think the judges decision to make him pay for something that isn't his is nonsense. I'd be interested to see what a higher court would rule but I can tell you, this does nothing to ad to my faith in our justice system

IMHO, the woman is a criminal and he should get his money back and possibly custody of the child. If she legitimately thought the child was his then it's a different story but it's quite obvious that isn't the case so she should suffer, not him.

jonbey · 12-07-2007, 05:22 PM

I recently heard about a case whereby two lesbians decided to start a family (my facts are vague, heard it at work) and asked a friend of a friend for some sperm. All done without any legal agreements. Anyway, they had the child, but then they split up, and now the guy has to pay for the child support. Do a person a favour, and that is what happens. Crazy. Just Google'd and found the story:
Sperm donor forced to pay child support after lesbian couple split - Times Online

jonbey · 12-07-2007, 05:24 PM

Hmmm, reading on the legal side, he was probably a bit naive, or stupid, to do what he did.

The CSA said that, unless a child was legally adopted, both biological parents were financially responsible. “The Child Support Agency legislation is not gender or partnership based,” a spokesman said. “Only anonymous sperm donors at licensed centres are exempt from being treated as the legal father. This does not apply to men who donate sperm as part of a personal arrangement.”

Duke · 12-07-2007, 08:16 PM

I'm sure that if some governing body actually started investigating Paternity Fraud and other "malicious" forms of embezzling child support, it would make for interesting headlines. Just the other day to work I saw a couple of dads on the top of a walkway roof advertising for Fathers Rights.

I'm not sure about the rest of the world but speaking from experience as a remote father, it isn't easy to get out from under the thumb of an unhappy ex or to not have your child become a pawn your ex uses as a control measure. It doesn't help when social services will pay for legal council for the mother to milk as much child support from a father as possible without any regard of the fathers standard of living.

As an example, when my ex and I split, social services wanted me to pay over $700.00/month in child support (not alimony, we were not married) for a child who was around 1 year old. Nevermind the fact that at that time $700.00 represented almost one full paycheck on my day job and I only got paid twice/month; how the h3ll was I s'pose to live?

They went for the money because I was working 2 jobs at the time (killing myself) and based my income on well over 80 hours/week worked which is not only ridiculous, it should be illegal. I was happy when I only had to pay $500.00/month for one baby and that was 12 years ago.

PepsiChic · 12-08-2007, 02:32 AM

using anyone is bad, people, teenagers especially get pregnant to claim benefits and get a free place to live, tis so sad!

Vautrin · 12-09-2007, 01:16 AM

That is another thing GG. If you want to rent a house you will be put on extremely long queues. In some areas of the country (NL) you are lucky if you get offered a house within the first 2 years; on average it takes about 6 years to get your accomodation. However, if there is a pregnancy involved, you can jump the queue.

There are houses available, but that involves making a commute each direction of roughly 150 km (95 miles). Somehow, that does not seem to appealing, or affordable.

I wonder if that guy is sueing both "mothers" for the abuse of his genetic material for financial gains.

Duke · 12-09-2007, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GamerGal

using anyone is bad, people, teenagers especially get pregnant to claim benefits and get a free place to live, tis so sad!

I agree 110% but in this day and age it almost seems as if we're all so desensitized that using each other is a personal victory rather than a moral dilemma.

What ever happened to Love thy Neighbor?

Personally I'd Love to Love but if my neighbor can't Love then I'm unable to Love.

Zil · 12-09-2007, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Personally I'd Love to Love but if my neighbor can't Love then I'm unable to Love.

:: BRAIN ASPLODES ::

Duke · 12-09-2007, 01:43 AM

lol, I thought it wouldn't make any sense.

PepsiChic · 12-09-2007, 02:40 AM

how much you drank?!