This past nightmare of a week...

[Zil]

I wasn't sure where exactly to put this...

I'll try to sum it all up as best I can:
My ex-sister-in-law (very much still family - I know, seems weird to those that don't know the story about me and my ex-wife) and her fiance/boyfriend/whatever helped to basically rescue me from a bad situation in Indiana. They came up and got a truck and helped load all my stuff up and brought me and my kids back home to Tennessee. This was just before last Christmas. I've been renting out the upstairs in their (her) house ever since.
Well, they had issues that I was unaware of and their relationship (after 8+ years) was deteriorating... He talked to me here and there and made sure I knew that it had nothing to do with me and my kids being here, though.
Well, he moved out a few months ago... and she has tried her best to break things off with him permanently, but he has had an extremely hard time accepting it. He still had a copy of the house key and kept coming around and coming in when she wasn't here and stuff... He constantly tried to talk her into giving them another chance, etc. etc. The hardest part, I think, for him was that she starting seeing someone else...
Anyway, I've tried to be a friend to him... an ear to listen... a "shoulder to cry on"... I went thru a lot with my ex-wife and he was around when all that happened so he knew I could probably kind of understand more than most.

Apparantly, he completely lost it:

...click --> http://www.wkrn.com/Global/story.asp?S=8540913&nav=menu5_2

...then click --> http://www.wkrn.com/global/story.asp?s=8555198

......

As everyone can imagine, this has been an insanely awful week... It has actually affected me more than I thought it would, ...probably because I spent about 2 1/2 hours last Sunday morning talking with him about things.. ..and then less than 24 hours later.........
I've gone over and over and over that conversation in my mind so many times this week. I just wish I had seen it coming somehow... some hint that he could even consider doing something like this... But it really is just like you always hear: He was a really great guy, and nobody would've ever thought he'd be capable of doing something so horrible.

Jess (my "sis") has gone thru hell this week.. beating herself up, blaming herself...


Please, if you are a praying person... please keep my sis Jessica in your thoughts and prayers... but most especially Dean's little girl - she is only 7 years old and now her father has been taken from her...
Also remember the rest of Dean's family... I know they are really hurting and grieving right now...
But also Brian's family...... they need people's prayers and support also. I can't imagine what they must be going through.
...but....... Brian also needs prayers as well.


Don't worry about me, I'll be fine ...although I won't be online at all this weekend because I'm going to be at a friend's house... house-sitting as well as child-sitting(?) - lol.
On second thought, pray for me -- I've never had to deal with five kids on my own before. haha...

[darkangelism]

wow man, that sucks, wondering where you had been, sorry your back in such bad news. Did he have kids? because if so he left them with no father as well cause he will be in prison or dead.

[Vautrin]

That is an awful situation to be in, for everyone.

I'll have everyone in my thoughts.

[Luba]

Zil, you will all be in my prayers...I'm SO sorry what you all are going through...

[Zil]

No, neither Brian nor Jessica has any children.

Yeah, the biggest part about this that gets to me most is that that little girl will now grow up without her father... I still can't believe it actually happened......


Well, I hadn't wanted to bother Jess much.. as I'm sure her phone's been blowing up enough, but I talked to her mom last night and she had talked to her yesterday. Jess and her sister went to Alabama, where Dean was originally from, for the viewing and his funeral. I've been concerned because she never got the chance to meet all of them.. and I'm sure that was a bit awkward on top of heart-wrenching.
Anyway, her mom told me that it went really well and that Dean's father gave Jess his number and told her that if she needed anything at all for her to call him.

Oh by the way, if you look through all of the posts on the original article.. you'll find a couple from me and one actually from Jessica. Just thought I'd mention that.

Anyway... off to deal with 5 kids until tomorrow night - wish me luck.

[Luba]

Good luck, Zil, I feel you will be a tower of strength for those that need you!

[Zil]

Thank you Luba.

[Luba]

Originally Posted by Luba

Good luck, Zil, I feel you will be a tower of strength for those that need you!

Originally Posted by Zil

Thank you Luba.

Just know that we will be here for you, we are family!

[PepsiChic]

what a horrible and hard time for you and both families. each and every one of them will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[darkangelism]

well at least his family isnt blaming her for his death. i was reading the comments on the article and one was that the apartment complex security gate was broken, they are really asking for a wrongful death lawsuit

[IR_Efrem]

Keep on keeping on Zil, Dean's daughter and family will be in my thoughts.

BTW if you ever need some one to vent to, let me know brother, my long distance for my phone is completely free and I think I am a pretty good listener.

[IvyRose]

Gosh Zil, I don't know what to say. What a horrible thing to go through. All of you will be in my prayers.

[Weiser]

Damn....I'm sorry to hear that man. It reminds me of when my cousins ex-husband murdered her, only he got away with it....

[TKDLady]

I am so sorry Zil, for you and all parties involved. I worked with someone once who did something similar. He couldn't stand his ex girlfriend dating anyone else and killed all and himself. I didn't work closely with him but saw him everyday. It freaked me out. I can only imagine what it is like for you since you were so close to them all. My thoughts will be with all of you. Take care Zil.

[Zil]

Thanks you guys.. really.

I know I've been on less and less in recent weeks, but your support means a lot to me. I'm still pretty torn up about it all, just trying to hide it I guess...
My heart really goes out to that little girl.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by IvyRose

Gosh Zil, I don't know what to say. What a horrible thing to go through. All of you will be in my prayers.

I really don't know what to say either.

But I think you're sister was lucky, and that 10 years from now this will still be a horrible memory, but it came very close to being much worse.

[Meanon]

You just don't know when someone is going to crack. It's so scary. I don't know how Jess is managing to cope with such a tragedy. I'm glad his family aren't blaming her. Sorry you and the kids are going through this too, Zil

[Zil]

She's doing remarkably well... she is such a strong and amazing person. (Sometimes I wonder how she could actually be my ex-wife's sister - HA!)

I spoke with her this evening more than I have in the past week or so... There was a memorial thing yesterday in Nashville for Dean. I was unable to go but I caught the news last night and it showed Dean's father saying: "They're going through probably as hard a time as I'm going through. If we all had the choices to make we wouldn't have made this choice. If we had to back up time, Brian would probably change his mind, too. I really feel for his family."
Sounds like an awesome man right there.
Anyway, she's coping the best she can... I'm really amazed at how she's handling it all.
Brian's first court appearance is Monday and she is going with some friends and I told her I'd go as well if I could arrange it at work. ...I hope I can.

[darkangelism]

yeah deans family is handling it really well.

[Luba]

I'm so glad to hear she is doing well and has tremendous support!