On Dying...

Luba · 06-14-2007, 09:20 AM

Just returning from a very difficult funeral and the aftermath, I'd just like to know if you prepared for a parent's death or if your parents have their wills, other important documents, downsizing instead of keeping everything they've ever been given, if they've spoken about what they've wanted done with their 'stuff'.

I KNOW this is a tough subject that is VERY difficult to discuss, but I feel it should be done. Everytime my dear departed Mother wanted to discuss it with me, I told her "no" and didn't want to accept the fact that she would die sometime. The result was when she finally did pass away, I'm almost sure we didn't carry out her total intentions though my strong brother did as much as he could. I, of course, fell totally apart...

The funeral we just came back from was a nightmare, mostly for the aftermath. Every little thing had to be searched out and there was TONS of stuff to get done....my Mother-in-law had practically nothing in place and SO much stuff that if I mentioned it here, you all wouldn't believe me because I hardly believe it myself...

I believe in talking to your parents about this difficult subject or at least find out where all the key items are; if the Will was made especially, a living will wouldn't hurt either. She obviously thought she would have more time but a lot of the time that doesn't happen; so the main affairs should be put in order, IMO.

Vautrin · 06-14-2007, 09:27 AM

My parents are about 50 years old. And both quite healthy, so we have not seen any reason to discuss it yet.

And with regards to the grandparents, most of it has been sorted out already. But it can get messy, if it has not been.

PepsiChic · 06-14-2007, 01:52 PM

my parents are both about 50 too, so i also havent really discussed it with them in detail. We've had a few conversations, and my mum has read to me both her and my fathers current wills.

I dont know if this thread is just about death of parents, but i had to organise my best friends funeral with her parents, Nov '06. She didnt have a will or anything, only being 18, its not something either or us ever thought about doing so young. But her parents asked me to go thru the stuff in her room and delegate it out to her friends and family. Thats one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life.

Duke · 06-14-2007, 02:09 PM

Well, I do know what she did with that cheap, garage sale, clothing steamer item she bought for under $6.00. If you need an update on it's whereabouts, I'll be glad to PM it to you.

I've already touched on this subject a few times with my daughter and next year, will have Lifesupporters.com added to my will as well. Once I have all my will stuff in order, I'll likely create a central document area for all my financial stuff. In other words, it will likely be a manila envelope with a copy of my will, some bills and some belly-button lint because I don't have much.

darkangelism · 06-14-2007, 09:17 PM

my parents are also around 50, and i have discussed dying with them...my dad doesnt want to be old and senile and plans on killing himself before then. If my parents die soon, like in an accident or something, im supposed to take care of my brother and sister, which shouldnt be hard at this point, as i work full time and my parents have enough life insurance to pay for my brother and sister to live on in interest alone.

PepsiChic · 06-15-2007, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

If my parents die soon, like in an accident or something, im supposed to take care of my brother and sister,

thats one thing thats in my parents will. i will be in carge of my brother and sister till they marry. which is rather strange because they are 23 & 24 years old and im 20..

Vautrin · 06-15-2007, 09:01 AM

The care of siblings can get tricky. Another reason why I don't recommend being the oldest child.

TKDLady · 06-15-2007, 01:52 PM

My mom is 86 and the last time she visited me we created a living will for her. She doesn't have too much of her belongings since she has been downsizing for the last 20 years or so but she does have some items and family pictures that I hope fall into loving hands. I think my brother helped her get her funeral arrangements and in her living will she requested to be cremated. I want to have her remains buried next to my dad in South Dakota but not sure if that was arranged. I think it has been arranged to get her information put on the same headstone however. My husband and I have wills and living wills and we have discussed where they are with our daughter. Not sure if our son was in on the conversation because it was a couple years ago. We don't have burial plots yet but I guess we will arrange that in another couple years. We aren't 50 yet but getting close and although our health is good, you never know.

PepsiChic · 06-15-2007, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vautrin

The care of siblings can get tricky. Another reason why I don't recommend being the oldest child.

but im the youngest outta 3! typical

i know i want to be cremated and i want my ashes scattered in to the sea. as for possesions and stuff, i dont know.

darkangelism · 06-16-2007, 12:38 AM

arent your siblings old enough to fend for themselves? my brother and sister are youn 16 and 11 so it makes sense for me.

PepsiChic · 06-16-2007, 12:45 AM

yeah they are, but they are a lot lot closer to my parents then i am. i moved away from my family when i was 15/16 and only moved back recently. so i havent seen them really for 4 years. my sister and brother both didnt move out till they were 21/22. and they just get long with my parents better.

should my parents die i think it will be very hard on them, and i dont think they could cope with funeral arrangements and the such. Also now ive done it before, i guess they know they can trust me with it.