What do i do?

kathy · 02-22-2008, 04:01 PM

A few months ago my husband had a severe car accident and suffered terrable head injuries. He got discharged from hospital about 2 weeks ago, and he is a complete different person, hes more angry he has been really aggressive to me and he was never like that. I still love him but i am scared of being around him at times. I just need a little help and support with this if anyone can help that would be great.

Duke · 02-22-2008, 04:08 PM

Welcome to Lifesupporters.com kathy, great to have you with us!

This is really a question for a professional if you ask me. I'm not a doctor but I'm pretty sure that a severe head injury could wreak havoc with certain parts of the brain that control anything from memory to emotions to motor skills.

I'd strongly suggest that you meet with a physician and perhaps a psychologist, anyone who understands the brain functions and what can happen after serious head trauma. I'd also strongly suggest that you do so sooner rather than later because as bad as it is now, it can always get worse.

Vautrin · 02-22-2008, 05:06 PM

I am not a qualified neurospecialist, but it could be the case that he has suffered physical damage to his brain. Things like that can happen in car accidents. Has he had a brain scan to check for this?

Does he realize his behavior is different? It might sound like a strange question, but please do answer.

kathy · 02-22-2008, 05:26 PM

he had tests and cat scans and the doctors said he would be fine, the worst that is going to happen is he going to forget a few things, but he has to go and see physian once a week and they said its normal for him to get enraged. They see it as not a physical rage, they say its just frustration rage and it will cause no physical harm. But i can't believe that and i do feel that he wil hurt me. I am just being to paranoid or over the top with this?

Vautrin · 02-22-2008, 05:29 PM

Frustration rage? Sounds dodgy to me.

Forgetting stuff after an accident is not strange - after all it is caused by minor brain injuries. And the same would hold for rage. That is why this explanation does not sound right to me.

Does he notice the change in behavior himself?

kathy · 02-22-2008, 05:35 PM

Im just so confused by it. I think what they mean by frustration rage is that he gets most of his rage from the frustation of not being able to remeber, but he can't remeber much, he can't remeber what he use to be like or what his life was like before the accident. He crys alot, shouts alot, punches walls alot thats all he does. I try to stop him from the punching the wall, but he just pushes me on the floor and shouts at me and i can't live like that but i can't leave him like that.

Vautrin · 02-22-2008, 05:47 PM

Do you mean he can't remember things like where you met? Until how far back can and can't he remember?

And have you seen that he keeps forgetting, after someone told him one of the things he had forgotten?

Duke · 02-22-2008, 05:47 PM

Have you seen different physicians and perhaps gotten second and third opinions?

I don't think being concerned for your own safety is paranoid at all so please don't allow it to cloud your thinking. People usually don't wake up one day and decide to feel one way or another, environmental influences dictate how we feel.

TKDLady · 02-23-2008, 12:11 AM

First off, welcome to Lifesupporters Kathy. You have joined a very caring and understanding online family. As for your current situation,take him to someone who can help him and you deal with this before something happens to either of you. If he is this frustrated like they said then he is probably depressed as well. My friend's son is brain damaged from a near drowning and is non verbal, non mobile. He doesn't do anything on command. But my friend was told he can still feel depressed. Head traumas are different for everyone and I think you need to get a few more opinions and also find a support group for you.

Luba · 02-23-2008, 04:37 PM

Welcome to Lifesupporters, Kathy!

Very happy you're here but sad about the circumstances you are facing right now!

How close are you with his parents, extended family? Do they know what's going on? I don't think you should be facing this alone...you need a place to go for immediate help when you need it!

kathy · 02-23-2008, 08:45 PM

Thankyou all for welcoming me here. We are close with his parents but they live quite far from us, and i don't want his farther to have much stress as he is not well. Im not sure about his family i don't really know his family that well or how big it is. Where can i go for immediate help?

Vautrin · 02-23-2008, 08:57 PM

That really depends on where you live. Every country has a different system for organising health care and related services.

Sorry I can't be more of a help than suggesting a google search for the service you are looking for; . Hopefully other members can give you more useful information soon.

How are things going?

kathy · 02-23-2008, 09:08 PM

im From the uk. I have decided to tuesday when we go to the hospital im going to ask physian for help with this and try to get some help and support for when we are at home hopefully untills hes better.

Things are going ok. He lost his temper really bad last night and destroyed the front room and i got a table thrown at me

. Luckiley it didn't do much damage to me.

It just really upsets me i just stayed up most of the night crying, it feels as if i lost so much, so many happy memories gone.