What do i do? - Page 4

Luba · 03-03-2008, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kathy

Well his parents have decided to help look after him till he is more stable, i will be seeing him as often as i can. I have got my daughter back with me now. So hopefully things are getting back on track.

That's great, Kathy!

I'm SO glad his parents came through; how is he dealing with them looking after him? I'm SO glad you have your daughter back!

Duke · 03-04-2008, 02:39 AM

This may sound selfish but I'm just glad you keep coming back kathy and I really appreciate you keeping us in the loop! It's crappy when someone is hurting but whats even worse is to only hear part of the story and the person disappears without a word.

Thanks again kathy, I appreciate it as I'm sure everyone else does.

Luba · 03-04-2008, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

This may sound selfish but I'm just glad you keep coming back kathy and I really appreciate you keeping us in the loop! It's crappy when someone is hurting but whats even worse is to only hear part of the story and the person disappears without a word.

Thanks again kathy, I appreciate it as I'm sure everyone else does.

I second that, Kathy! We SO care about your safety and I, personally, am very grateful every time you post and tell us how you are coping as well as the progress of your husband! Thank you, Kathy!

kathy · 03-09-2008, 06:55 PM

Sorry i didn't reply earlier i have been so busy, been doing so much traveling seeing my husband i just didn't have time to come on here. My husband is doing well now, he is improving quite alot which is great. He seems to be alot more happier now but im not sure if the letters have been carrying on or they have stopped.

I don't think your being selfish Duke, i love coming to this website its so warming and welcoming its a great website, and it just makes me really happy and gives me support through this knowing that you guys care. Thankyou so much.

Vautrin · 03-09-2008, 06:57 PM

It is good that your husband is making quite a bit of progress. How is your daughter coping with the situation?

Luba · 03-09-2008, 06:58 PM

Thanks so much for keeping us updated, Kathy, even though you are going through such a tough time! We SO care about you and worry until you post again!

I'm SO glad he's doing so much better...

kathy · 03-09-2008, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vautrin

It is good that your husband is making quite a bit of progress. How is your daughter coping with the situation?

My daughter is just a bit confussed by it, but shes doing ok she keeps asking "wheres daddy?" It upsets me quite a bit when she asks for her dad

but hopefully things will be back to normal soon.

kathy · 03-09-2008, 07:31 PM

and thankyou again luba

Vautrin · 03-09-2008, 07:45 PM

It is tough. But the three of you will come through.

When is the next appointment with the counsellor (I assume it is ongoing)?

kathy · 03-09-2008, 08:13 PM

His appointments are every tuesday, but its a 50/50 at the moment if i can go to this one. Important things have popped up on tuesday which im trying to work around my husbands appointment.

Vautrin · 03-09-2008, 08:31 PM

I hope you can make it to the appointment.

IR_Efrem · 03-10-2008, 03:04 AM

Wow how did i completely miss this thread....

Well WELCOME kathy

I am really hoping that you and all your family get through this all.

I don't want to cast hope where it may not exist but writing is a fairly common therapeutic tool for many situations. I wouldn't allow these words to lessen your concern about the letters though. But, often times writing something down helps to clear up the mind, even if the writing does sound very dark.

ANY thing that involves the mind can be extremely tricky to diagnose, esp if the person is not completely honest. In most cases I have seen they are not. This and doctors aren't really trying to get to the real problem, either that or they do not know.. Doctors are much like the rest of the populace, a few really bright ones and a whole lot of average ones. I have seen nothing yet in my personal experience to contradict my feelings about our wonderful health care providers.

I have read everything posted here so far, and I have a question for you. Besides the shoving that you mentioned has he actually just outright laid into you? (hit you, punched, kicked, anything like this)

These letters have me thinking quite a bit. I have lived with a severely mentally ill person before and these letters sound EXACTLY like the words I used to hear. I'll save you from all the details from that relationship, but perhaps I can share a few of the things that happened. Perhaps some of my mistakes can lend a small amount of understanding for you. Regardless I am really pulling for you all and I wish you as much peace as possible.

kathy · 03-10-2008, 07:41 PM

Thankyou efrem, it would be a great help if you could share some of your experence.

The answer to your question is no, he has never hit me, the only most phyiscal he has been to me is pushing me against walls and he threw a table at me once.

The letters are a great concern for me as he has never written anything or spoken of that kind of context before which really does worry me, and the counseller said the same thing as you but it really doesn't put my mind at rest.

IR_Efrem · 03-11-2008, 03:15 PM

Im not certain of how I should have handled my situation back then. I tried VERY hard to convey to her that I was in the relationship because I loved her very much and wanted to be with her. Apparently this was not the answer, Im not certain if this served to push her away completely, or not.

I heard a lot of, I'm not good enough for you, you deserve better, the world would be better off without me. I would say that my greatest mistake was spending to much time trying to help her, and not enough time looking after the well being of my daughters (or myself). I didn't ignore them, but when you spend to much time looking in one direction, well, this means you aren't looking enough in other directions. It's such an easy trap to fall into.

He needs to get back to what is important, realizing his own self worth. I do not know what this will take, perhaps a therapist would have some different ideas on how to accomplish this. Just r