Weight Issues and Support

[Duke]

I think you're suffering from depression Lu. The only reason I think this may be the case is because I believe I've been suffering from it as well for the past year or so.

Life hasn't been all that easy for me as well and I see a lot of similarities in your post content to what is going on in my mind. I too have put on more weight because I've taken on more of a sedentary life style. Of course I could shed the extra pounds in under 3 months but I lack the will to do it because it's really the least of my worries right now.

Like you, work has really gotten me down as well and I'm considering a career change (at 40, yikes). I'm tired of working my @ss off and being in the top 2% - 5% yet my pay scale is similar to those who don't give a crap. It makes me feel like a big idiot because I work tons of overtime, continually change my schedule, take on additional responsibilities without a moments hesitation, yet I make close to the same wage as people who clearly don't give a sh1t. Add to this the fact that I've been there for close to 20 years now and I'm getting farther and farther behind with each passing year.

I'm also seeing my daughter change and as great as it is to watch, a part of me dies a little more with each passing stage. I can see that my child needs me less and less just as clearly as I can see the day I'm no longer an active person in her daily life and its sad really. It's actually rather comical how cruel God, mother nature (or whomever the higher power is) is because the more you're child grows, the more you need them around yet the less they want to be around. I find it odd how a baby needs us to live their lives, grow and develop and as they grow, the opposite holds true for the parents needs. Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry about it.

Then you have the death of not-so-grand-ma and not-so-grand-pa and the emotional turmoil they continue to cause even in death. I try to live my life in such a manner so if anyone every asks me if I have any regrets, I can honestly say no. I try to live true to some inner guidance system that I don't know or understand but trust completely nonetheless. This inner system has been bugging me lately with the fact I never got to tell either of these people how much they screwed up. I really don't care if they ever did anything good (which I find hard to believe), the deserved to know just how much hurt their collective ignorance has created over a minimum of 3 generations (dad, you, me, Dave, Dwoing).

All of these things swirl around in the back of my mind like some curdled brew at the end of the witches stir stick and it clearly haunts me both in my dreams and my waking hours. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen instead of being pro-active and making it happen. It's easy to say that all one needs to do to break the cycle is to break the cycle but emotional baggage carries with it a lot of weight and right now I don't feel strong enough to shoulder it.

If any of this rings true lu, believe me, you're not alone.

[PepsiChic]

i suffered from depresion for 5 years was on meds for it, came off them and then wen my best friend died and my ex got real bad i ended up in hospital, and then back on meds. its horrible and it feels like a never ending spiral.

edit: i hope im not hijacking the thread in another direction i should of made a seperate post or something im sorry :/

[Luba]

I can't believe I missed your post somehow, Duke! I always read the new posts, and respond to most of them.

I KNOW I'm suffering from depression now and it may have been coming on since the start of the year. With all the events of this year, first the 6 week virus, Fran's death, Mother-in-law's death who left me in incredible turmoil about things I found out which have been warned about but I didn't heed them, other general things that aren't working out, and, recently, the disappearance of my cat.

So after reading the "Ten Ways to Hang On" which I've posted under grief, I am trying to do something. I have so many dreams of my cat, tonight it was a dream of her jumping on the bed to come cuddle with me, over in and instant, and I woke up to find it only 3:15! Sneezing kept me awake as well as feeling cold, I decided to get up before 4:00 to exercise. I didn't want to do it, but felt somewhat better after I did, at least I'm trying to do something. It isn't much, but it scared me when the article said grief could be seductive and I don't want to become a life-long bitter person as an article stated that could happen.

Yes, about your post, Duke, children do need you less and less when you need them more and more. If you only knew how often I wish you and your brother, granddaughters lived closer so we could be together more. If I even let myself dwell on that when those thoughts come, I would become a basket case which is where I am at the moment.

What I do know about us, Duke, is that we do have inner strength that no matter how far down we get, somehow we seem to get up again and go on in spite of negative life happenings; somehow mostly with a sense of humour and lighthearted sarcasm, even.

[Luba]

Well, ENOUGH already! I've been through H*ll and back I think with everything that's happened this year; and then I think, "it could be worse", how's THAT for being positive!

So.....I got up at 3:30 to exercise, and when I do, after the hour is done, I'm sweating and I feel on top of the world instead of under a rug crying my eyes out! This Thanksgiving weekend was the turning point for me because I spent it Giving Thanks for everything I could think of...even this difficult year which is teaching me that I do have a LOT of strength within and still haven't lost my sense of humour and the ability to laugh and love...

Anyway, one of my dear 'friend's' whom I loved very much, proceeded to stop talking to me...when I asked her what I did to her, she proceeded to tell me two very vicious things that are SO not true and built up in her mind...I could not believe it! I was SO broken up and blindsided that I walked 7k home to try to make sense of it all, left work because I just couldn't handle what she said. I decided to stay home the next day as well, and I'm SO glad I did because if I had gone to work, I would have reciprocated in the same way she did me. I decided I was above all that, and looked inside my Soul to see if what she said was in any way true, and realizing it wasn't, I just let it and her go! I received such incredible peace when I made that decision not to go to that level! I played a 'victim for a day' with the worst headache imaginable, but I'm OKAY, better than OKAY...she didn't 'get' me and it's her loss because I truly loved her. She's avoiding me at work and that's okay, too, because I have nothing to say to her now....

[Luba]

I'm proud of the fact that the week before I exercised three mornings, last week it was five mornings! Drank four glasses of water yesterday; I wonder when my bladder will get used to that??

But....I ate more than I intended to yesterday...and it was emotional eating because of the cruelty of my former friend. It's another lesson learned...don't befriend someone who has a cruel streak and strikes out when least expected...

Another thing to get over and pull myself up by the boot or bra straps!

[jonbey]

Hi, this thread is a bit heavy, but that just makes it the more real. My weight has been up and down for years. I am just starting to get back into regular exercise again. It is always difficult though. Really the only form of exercise I have ever enjoyed is martial arts. I discovered kung-fu in my first year at Uni and realised that I could actually get fit and enjoy it. But since my wife got pregnant my weight increased rapidly, and I am now fighting (literally!) to e fit again.

Also, I can relate to Duke - at 33 I am starting to get really bored with my work. I am lucky that I can do 9 to 5 (I use my son as an excuse to get me out the office - "I have to leave at five, or I don't see him before he sleeps, and if that happens everyday, I'll only see him at weekends") I mean, that is totally true, but now manager do not ask me to work late, as they know that for me now my son comes first and everything else second. But I am now more determined to lose weight and get fir, not just for me, not just for my wife, but now for my son too!

The trick is to find an activity that you enjoy. I am sure there must be one for everyone. It could be walking, cycling, playing team sports, martial arts, ice skating - anything really. Everyone likes something, its just many people fail to find out what it is!!! Well, that is my opinion, it may be wrong.....

For me the difference between martial arts and running (which I also do a little of too) is that after a stressful day in the office, martial arts brings you into contact with other people, which can be good, whereas running, or going to a commercial gym to use machines etc. leaves you on your own, in your own thoughts. It is nice to interact with other people - it helps you with stress, provides motivation, and may even help with depression.

Oh, and one last thing - on the days that you eat too much - don't worry, everyone has good days and bad days. So long as the good days outweigh the bad, things will improve!

[PepsiChic]

i think its interesting finding out how people loose weight im gonna start another thread asking that it think..

and btw great positive words

So long as the good days outweigh the bad, things will improve!

thats really motivating for people who struggle to keep motivated (like me)

[jonbey]

Hey, maybe I should become one of those expert motivational speakers - that could get me out of my mundane desk job....

[PepsiChic]

lol this might make you laugh - i was listenin to virgin radio the other day and a woman called up said she had a really hard day at work and needed something to motivate her to get up for work the next day - the dj asked what she did - she replied "im a motivational speaker" - priceless!

[jonbey]

Hmmm, I guess she may be in the wrong job!

[Zil]

I weighed 290 lbs a while back. I got it down to 260 lbs and I just can't lose anymore it seems.

Although... I never really exercise and I don't eat healthy. lol I really need to do something about that.

Would you believe I simply started drinking diet sodas and lost 30 lbs??? It's true.