Self Image

darkangelism · 10-21-2005, 12:09 AM

I realized today that a lot of my problems stem from a negative self image. When i went to the bar i automatically put myself at a lower level then the other guys, like let them talk to girls then ill talk to what ever is left because i dont feel like i deserve any of the A-list girls. My problem isnt how i look, how i dress, how i act, its how i look at myself.

Weiser · 10-21-2005, 12:27 AM

You don't talk to the A-list girls you'll never get an A-list girl. Plain and simple. You know your problem, so go do something about it

darkangelism · 10-21-2005, 11:49 AM

Yeah, i m gonna try to, but i still get nervous and am self concious enough to think that they wont like me.

Adonaicole · 10-21-2005, 02:30 PM

My advice, don't try to pick up on any girls. Just go over and talk to them. Girls, even if they are not interested in you, enjoy a lively oral exchange. Learn some funny jokes, entertain them with your sharp wit. The rest will take care of itself.

Star · 10-21-2005, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adonaicole

Girls, even if they are not interested in you, enjoy a lively oral exchange.

8O 8O sorry, i had to react to that one.

to add to the wonderful advice you got in this thread DA, be yourself and have fun. go with the flow of things. you're a good person and someone will notice one day and you'll have your love. you're still so young. too young to be worrying about the love of your life yet. Love life fist, live life first then it will all fall into place.

darkangelism · 10-21-2005, 04:28 PM

I get nervous approaching random people, but if i can get over that and start the conversation i should be ok if im not trying to pick them up, my wit is like a slugger, i either strike out or hit a home run.

Star · 10-21-2005, 05:24 PM

concor that fear DA. go in there and hold your head up high and go against your feelings of insecurity. eventually, you'll take the control back of yourself and it won't be a struggle to do that anymore.

This is so Dr. Phil but here it goes. You are your worst enemy. You're beating yourself up a thousand times a day and taking your own power away from yourself. You need to take that power back and get control of yourself again. YOu have plenty of frineds. there must be something about you that they like or you would have no friends right?

you need to start thinking about who you are and what kind of person you are. start thinking about your qualities and not your faults. nobody's perfect. everyone has faults but everyone also has qualities within themselves.

This is what i mean when i say think positive. a positive will always come out of a positive but a negative will only result in negative. go in there and say to yourself, i'm a good hearted person, i'm caring, loving and fun to be around and you'll see. the change in yourself will shine through eventually. without you even noticing that it's happening. others will notice too as time goes on.

you need to be your own best frined, not your own enemy.

darkangelism · 10-21-2005, 08:28 PM

yeah that sums it up pretty well, i constantly beat myself up. I know i have friends because i have a good personality, they have told me that, i just dont believe it a lot. Just like i didnt believe i was good looking for a long time. The turning what i need to do itnto actually doing is the hard part.

Star · 10-22-2005, 01:11 AM

it's not easy but you have to start somewhere and there's no better time then the present. get started DA. start now and by this time next year, you'll look back and know that you've done a lot of improvements with yourself because you'll be a different, more confident person and that will shine.

darkangelism · 10-22-2005, 11:14 AM

i man part of it is that i dont really know how to start.

Weiser · 10-23-2005, 12:30 AM

oj...dotne evnt hinkl agyt it and jusrt gou ptei tehnm. satrt takling to tehnm and ti willl come nornalt to u.

darkangelism · 10-23-2005, 01:36 AM

ok, that is horrible drunk writing. But the problem is that it doesnt come natural, i over think it and i feel like i might say something wrong.

Luba · 10-23-2005, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

ok, that is horrible drunk writing. But the problem is that it doesnt come natural, i over think it and i feel like i might say something wrong.

I sure know how that is...overthinking, I mean! Now I just walk into a situation feeling good, with a smile on my face, back straight (a must, because you look confident

) and a "come what may" attitude! With that relaxed attitude, I am able to handle practically anything.

You really have a choice here, you can stay in the situation or leave, it's all up to you. If it's comfortable and easy, stay; if not, walk away....just that easy.

What's the worst thing that will happen if you say something wrong? We all say stuff...right or wrong...and who judges that anyway??? If you do say something wrong..."sorry" will help. We all put "our foot in our mouth" time to time...I did it twice in the same conversation at City Hall the other day...and backtracked by making a joke out of it, we all laughed and it was over...

None of us are perfect, and there is no perfect conversation. Just learn to laugh with yourself, don't take yourself too seriously! Don't judge yourself or do postmortem by going over everything you say...it just doesn't matter in the scheme of things...

We all know what a great guy you are, DA, you are absolutely wonderful here, and your posts are great and I always look forward to reading them! You have a good sense of humour, and look how you were missed when you were away! Now take the way you are online to your "real" life and you will have it made!!!

Merika · 10-23-2005, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adonaicole

Girls, even if they are not interested in you, enjoy a lively oral exchange.

You can look like a complete moron ... but if you have that one thing going for you..... then.... okay....family forum :?

Merika · 10-23-2005, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weiser

oj...dotne evnt hinkl agyt it and jusrt gou ptei tehnm. satrt takling to tehnm and ti willl come nornalt to u.

hehehe.....another BEER post for the Weiser!!! You are just too fun!