overreacting

[darkangelism]

I realized that i overreact when i get emotionally involved in something, like for example, when the girl i have a crush on told me that she doesnt like me, I spent the rest of today feeling horrible, it wasnt like we went out or anything so i shouldnt have taken it hard.

[Samson]

I don't get it DA. Feeling the high of a "crush" and then being sad because things didn't pan-out the way you imagined has nothing to do with overreacting. Overreacting means you did something self distructive because you felt these things.

I think it is GREAT, and most human to form crushes. What is really more sad are those who have lost their capacity to feel the entire spectrum of emotion.

[darkangelism]

I did do semidestructive things, i gambled and lost big cause i couldnt concentrate, and i started drinking.

[Duke]

I think the reason you get so disappointed da is because you've already worked out a mental picture of what you and your new squeeze are gonna do when you're not even sure if she returns your feelings. In other words, I think you set yourself up every time for disappointment. You need to understand that a woman being kind does not mean that she wants to be intimate, it just means she's kind.

[Samson]

Agree with Duke, but on a slightly different level:

I think you set yourself up every time for disappointment. You need to understand that a woman with a heartbeat does not mean that she wants to be intimate, it just means she's alive.

[Star]

DA, I agree with Duke. I too think you keep setting yourself up for disapointment with women. You need to stop trying so hard and relax a little. I bet if you stop trying so hard, a girl will come to you and want to have a romantic relationship with you. These kind of things always happen when you least expect it. I'm talking from experience.

[darkangelism]

yeah i have been told tht it happens when i least expect it, it doesnt seem logical though, but then again im dealing with women, lol

[Samson]

Brave last words, DA!

I also wonder when Star had a girl come to her when she least expected it?

[Star]

Originally Posted by Samson

I also wonder when Star had a girl come to her when she least expected it?

ummm, that would be a guy. :P

[Duke]

Kind of off topic, kind of on. I'm just curious da, how do you actually view women? I'm not talking about with your eyes either, I'm talking about what kind of mental image do you associate women with?

[darkangelism]

im not sure what you are asking. My comment before was a joke, i dont look down on them or anything.

[Duke]

The reason I'm asking is that it sounds like you already have a nice, thick wall up that makes it virtually impossible for you to hook up. It sounds as though you have a bigger personal struggle dealing with how to react to a possible love interest than actually loosening up and letting things happen.

[Merika]

DA.... Here's a rule of thumb: Don't make a relationship out of a friendship and don't make a friendship out of a smile. Just persue the things you enjoy in life and you'll meet someone who enjoys the same things.

It won't happen overnight....and it won't happen at all while you are worrying about it....rather than going out there and enjoying life. Go to a movie, go to a sports event, go for a walk, join a couple of campus clubs....these are all important in filling up the boring spaces in your life....while also putting yourself in a position to meet young ladies with your same interests.

I'll use Duke as an example. Rather than searching for a female....he persued his interests and met someone who shared the same interests. It didn't happen fast....it took a couple of years....but now it is paying off in a good quality relationship with a great woman.

[Duke]

Great post Merika, well said.

In my case, I met someone when I wasn't looking but she turned out to be great. Here we are a few years later and she'll be down in a matter of days now.