Not coping all that well

twinkle · 08-20-2005, 01:44 PM

As you all know, I'm from Eastern Europe and I live with 2 other girls the same nationality as mine. We don't get along well, and lately it's hilarious that we even manage to talk to eachother.

1. I have to move out.

Let's sa "irreconciliable differences". Anyway, there's a huge tension when I get home. On the other side, when my boss left for his vacation, he didn't expain me in detail what I had to do - he briefed me for 15 minutes and he left for 3 weeks - although he told everyone he'd only be gone 2.

Anyway, I did what I thought I had to do, but guess what, I missed an important file. Sorry, it may be my fault, be he sure was in a rush to be outta there. It was my fault also becauseI didn't insist enough in his explaining my tasks. Main point: he got back, was pleased with what I did, but I had to put in long extra hours to make up for the stuff I hadn't done. An average of 12 hours at work, Thurdsay 14. At least I like what I do and I get the biggest income I can get for an intern in Paris. But it's still an intern's paycheck.

I also have my final paper to turn in and I have barely began working at it.

I don't have real friends and I kinda hate the way my life is right now.

So I sooo feel like bailing out and splitting. Canada, Australia, New Zeeland, whatever. On the other hand, it'll be hell to have all my diplomas validated if I change continents and here I have a pretty good quota as far as my studies are concerned.

I simply ... hate the people I meet right now. My ex is still calling and it's really hard to keep the distance. The main cause of our break u is because he wasn't commited enough and now he's interested in moving in with me.

I really don't know which way to turn. And my parents are about to come in 2 weeks and I don't want them to see me this miserable. I still haven't told them about the fact that I need to move out. ssssiiigghhh!

Luba · 08-20-2005, 02:17 PM

I think the main thing now is to maintain your focus! You've done amazing work and if at all possible, just hang in there until you've done what you set out to do towards your goal, no matter how hard it is right now! Once this is all over, you will be so proud of your strength, determination and hard work!

No matter how difficult it is with all these people, if you can just start on your paper, even an outline, whatever it takes to get it started, only you know what that is!

Your boyfriend should understand that you are unable to make a decision right now because you've got other priorities that need to be looked after. This will be a test to see how supportive he is and if he deserves to be in your life!

With what I've read in your posts, Twinkle, I think you are a very strong, disciplined, determined, fine woman and that's why I've posted what I feel!

Merika · 08-21-2005, 03:25 PM

I think you are going over what I call a 'Life Hump' right now. I think we all get to places during our life where we feel we are in a rut, nothing is making sense, we aren't happy with much of anything going on in our life.

I'm not sure there is a clear cut answer....other than continuing on until you get to the other side of it. Usually the best things in my life happened at the tail end of one of my most stagnant times. I'll be going along feeling like life SUX....and out of nowhere...something wonderful I didn't expect happens. (Like getting the new house).

Hang in there and ride the waves..... let's see where it takes you.

twinkle · 08-21-2005, 03:28 PM

To tell ya the truth, anywhere outta here is juuust FINE.

What puts me off is the mere thing of changing the place I'm living. I KNOW that it'll be much more better the minute I move out, but I guess I'm kinda scared. It's a huge pressure.

Duke · 08-21-2005, 05:44 PM

How about Canada?

Samson · 08-21-2005, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

How about Canada?

How did I know that invite was comming? :roll: Any particular address you have in mind, Duke?

Not that I blame you!

At any rate, twinkle, it is amazing how one can be surrounded with millions of people and still be lonely? I was the same way, and cannot really give what I would call great advise, except to say exactly what you shouldn't do: Return to ex-BF, or anyone else for that matter, to be comfortable.

I'm sure someone would say, we gotta get comfortable with ourselves first.

Easy to spout this platitude, as if the solution is just as simple a change in behavior as flossing more often.

I think, for me at least, comfort is found in exaustion. I just don't care much anymore about a need to "partner" with anyone. I just wanna be entertained.

Shallowly Satisfied,
samson

Duke · 08-21-2005, 06:20 PM

lol, I know it was a bit obvious, but what do you expect from me? I'm a man, I love women, what can I do?

twinkle · 08-21-2005, 06:51 PM

This sin't about my ex.

This is about being a f*cking foreigner, earning less than the minimum weige, forced to find a decent place to live ALONE.

ok, pitty party over.

twinkle · 08-21-2005, 06:53 PM

Duke, I swear I'm not joking, I've looked at the immigration forms for Canada too, LOL!!!

I haven't reached Uganda yet, though.

Duke · 08-21-2005, 09:11 PM

We have an open door policy here twink, I really don't think you'll make any less than a Canadian Citizen.

Samson · 08-21-2005, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkle

This sin't about my ex.

This is about being a f*cking foreigner, earning less than the minimum weige, forced to find a decent place to live ALONE.

ok, pitty party over.

Right.

Well, twinkle, that road has had many a twist and turn, but if you say it isn't about your ex-BF, then who am I not to believe you?

At any rate, my point was that, while I really cannot give advice about what to do, I can give advice about what NOT to do: Hook up with another lonely person so that you won't be lonely. Very bad idea.

But then, you're much smarter than I so I'm sure you already know this.

Obviously,
Samson

Merika · 08-22-2005, 09:29 AM

Well..if it makes you feel any better Twinks....I wouldn't be happy living in France if I were a millionaire.

Duke · 08-22-2005, 12:33 PM

I don't think the French would dig it much either ;-)

twinkle · 08-22-2005, 04:16 PM

It's not the 'living in France", it's "living in France with my connationals" that's getting to me.

I belive you were right, Merika, I've just reached period of saturation when I don't like anything in my life, me included - or should I say FIRST.

As a funny note on a side, while imagining my life in another place.... I was actually imagining different people around me.As for the city, I'd miss Paris immensly... It's like that joke about Sicilly: it's such a beautiful place, too bad it's habited by Sicillians",LOL.

French people aren't that bad, it's my own people that sucks really bad. At least those whom I've met here

.