Molestation

darkangelism · 01-31-2005, 11:38 PM

Star mentioned starting a thread about molestation, so i decided to start it. As some of you know, i was molested from the age of 5 to 12 by my male cousin who is 6 months older then me. I have never told my parents about it, and its part of the reason why im in couselling. I am angry at him, and it is probably why i am somewhat against gay people.

Star · 02-01-2005, 06:20 AM

It's a really good thing that you are getting some help to help you deal with being molested DA. Have you confronted your cousin about it?

I was molested by a female babysitter at the age of 7. I never told my parents until after I had Krystal. As a matter of fact, I had blocked it out of my head and when I had Krystal is when it all came back to me. It explains why I was such an angry child up until then.

When I told my parents, they were shocked and very upset that this happened to me and they had no clue. I did get proffessional help so I can talk about it and put it in it's place. The psychiatrist told me that what I remember isn't all of it. I've blocked a lot of it. I did ask him to hypnotize me but he refused. He said that I would remember everything when my mind is ready to. I still don't remember all of it and that's Okay with me.

This babysitter used to make my brothers go to bed and let me stay up late with her. What I remember is her making play "doctor" with her in my bed. She made me do things to her. Whether she touched me, I don't remember but I'm sure she did. She did this for quite awhile. Everytime she babysat us. She would come over the day after and bring me candy, skipping ropes, little gifts so that I wouldn't tell anyone. She told me that if I told my parents or anyone, they wouldn't believe me and they wuold blame me and I would get into big trouble. Being so young and naiive, I believed her and I was too scared to tell.

Back then when I was a kid, parents didn't talk to their kids about things like this. It happened a lot back then (I have friends who it happened to also) because it wasn't talked about. Didn't seem to be a worry for anyone.

I still remember her face and her name. If ever I go back to where I grew up, I will find her and confront her about it. I might even slap her face, who knows. I can't have her charged with anything since it's been so long ago but I will be satisfied just to confront her about it and let her know that the little girl she sexually abused did grow up and does remember what she did to her.

These child molesters forget that the kids do grow up and they do remember. I don't understand how an udult can hurt a child like this. Take their innocence away from them and confuse them for most of their lives.

Since I was molested by a female, I was ashamed and embarrassed. Being molested doesn't feel too good and hurts enough but when it's somebody of the same sex as you are, it's worse I think. I never thought of myself as a lesbian because I know I'm not and never would be. My fear was if people knew, would they think I am because I was molested by a female? Turns out that I had nothing to fear about.

I have dealt with the pain of being molested as a child. I don't even think about it too much anymore unless the subject comes up. But, I will one day confront my abuser face to face. I am looking forward to that day. Maybe that's when I'll remember more, who knows.

darkangelism · 02-01-2005, 10:33 AM

I agree that same sex molestations are harder. I havnt confronted him yet, i still have to see him and im not sure if i could do it peacefully.

I still remember it visibily.

Due to the fact that my cousin was doing it at such a young age he was probably being molested also.

Star · 02-01-2005, 10:42 AM

not necessarily DA. not all molesters have been molested. You said he was only 6 months older then you. Couldn't you at one point stop him with being agressive? What he did to you was wrong.

darkangelism · 02-01-2005, 10:52 AM

i didnt know it was wrong then.

It felt good, so i wasnt going to complain.

Merika · 02-01-2005, 10:59 AM

Very few people I've come across doesn't at least have an attempted molestation story somewhere in their past by some older relative or friend of the family.

What is amazing...is how many people never tell while they are a child or they end up trying to supress the memory as an adult. I think anyone who does this to someone should be prosecuted with rape or even attempted rape and should be put in jail.

It's not only the sexual aspect of it....it's the damage done to someone emotionally...especially if it's someone they should be able to trust.

I think everyone should have a talk with their younger siblings or children to let them know that IF this occurs....they should come tell you...so you can help them.

Star · 02-01-2005, 11:11 AM

I have talked to my girls about this kind of thing since they can walk and talk. Since it happened with me, my biggest fear was for my girls to be molested. As a result, I was extremely overprotective of my kids. We took them everywhere we us and when we couldn't, it was my parents or brother who would babysit them. Family only.

Krystal's older sisters were molested as well when they were 5 and 4. They were molested by their cousins (Krystal's biological cousins) and they did that in MY house and i had no clue. Can you imagine how guilty I felt about that? I noticed an attitude change in the oldest girl and I was going to bring it up to her mother but her mother called me first. she had heard them by accident talking about it is how we found out. I immediately banned those boys from ever entering my house again. their mother was just as bad as they were. she blamed the girls so she was banned also. After Krystal's father's death, I completely cut them all off. Krystal knowing that family was not worth risking her getting hurt. they were all screwy that way.

My kids always knew to run and tell immediately. Being a victim myself, I think I would go balistic if anyone ever touched my kids that way. I'd be going to jail for murder I'm sure.

All diddlers should be spending their lives in jail with eachother. They're all twisted and can't be "cured" as far as i'm concerned.

darkangelism · 02-01-2005, 11:43 AM

Yeah it really is bad that family cant be trusted like that. Outside of my immidiate family i have a hard time trusting the rest of my family. Im not even sure that i was the only one, that cousin becames close to a few younger cousins once we were older.

Merika · 02-01-2005, 12:32 PM

I know a couple of weeks ago they busted some international porn ring with over 100 arrested. They included teachers, preachers and Dads. That's sad. I can't imagine how anyone would find child porn as sexually arousing.

Star · 02-01-2005, 01:39 PM

i don't understand it either. Kids have an innocence to them that should be preserved, not violated.

another place they find a lot of molesting is within the catholic churches with the priests. It's everywhere really. You really do have to be very careful who you leave your kids with and you do have to educate them to the fullest so that they know not be afraid to tell no matter what they were threatened.

Duke · 02-05-2005, 12:34 PM

Some people are sick. The worst part is that even if you were interested in a child, wouldn't your morals and common sense kick in and tell you it's wrong? I think these people should all be sentenced to death.

Samson · 02-05-2005, 03:46 PM

The latest sicko was the guy that got 50 years for raping a 6 month old, and the freaks that tortured 5 of 7 adopted kids in Florida.

I'll let you all in on a little known secret: This is only the tippy top of the iceberg of outrageous behavior among humanity.

Any school principal or prison warden will tell you that the social fabric is in amazing tatters. On any given day school administrators deal with the worst of worst one minute, and then must conference with a parent who believes Teacher Smith is being "mean" to their kid by giving him "B" instead of an "A" in accelerated math the next minute.

Merika · 02-05-2005, 07:25 PM

In reading your post Samson....it occured to me how often we get our priorities all wrong. We fight for the frills and forget the basic principles.

It reminds me of parents who will spend hundreds of dollars on toddler learning toys (which is fine) but neglect to spend the time with the child themselves. The mindset is....if my child is smart and does well in school.....I'm a great parent. They never consider maybe the kid wanted to play in the mud with Dad or bake cookies with Mom. It's easier to blame the school system for the child's dysfunction or failure.

Or perhaps I'm just going off on a tangent....because it is a pet peeve of mine...and has often been my own weakness as a parent. A child in gifted does not not make a person a good parent.....a happy child is the result of a good parent. My children are in gifted.....but not always happy.

Star · 02-25-2005, 07:23 PM

Did any of you catch the Dr. Phil show yesterday. The topic was "We think our son is a sexual preditor".

This was a 2 part show that was on Wed. and Thursday. I watched the whole thing. It was a really hard show to watch but a very good one. Turned out that the 19 year old son was molesting his little 4 year old sister and probably has been since she was 2. The parents started suspecting him when the daughter was 2 because her private parts were red and swollen. They still let that boy babysit the little girl even though they suspected this was happening!!!

Dr. Phil gave him a lie detector test and proved that he was doing everything he was accused of doing. Inapproprietly touchy different girls and molesting his little sister. Those parents should've got their son help right from the get go. He was apparently sexually abused himself.

At the end of the show, I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the boy and at the same time very angry at him. He knew that if he told the truth, he'd be getting kicked out and he had nowhere to go. Dr. phil said he will help him even if his parents don't ever speak to him again.

I personally don't think that a sexual preditor can be rehabilitated, even if it is a kid. Dr. Phil seems to think that he can help this kid though.

It was a really interesting show to watch. I'm glad I didn't miss it!

For whoever watched the show, what are your thoughts?

Duke · 02-25-2005, 08:37 PM

I didn't see the show but I do agree that once a preditor always a preditor. I can't imagine being the parents of a child like that, there is no correct way to act or feel about the situation.