Letting Things Go

Link_BaconBitz · 07-05-2005, 09:02 AM

I figured this might be a good section to talk about this. There was a girl I knew a couple of years ago, I guess had a crush on her. Me, her, and another friend of ours (Chris) hung out a lot, but as the year went on we all just grew apart I suppose? She said she just found me annoying eventually and stopped talking to me. Ever since then, I couldn't help but check up on her online a lot. It's been a really long time since then, but even to this day I still try to check up on her. It's started to bother me though, I feel like I have to keep checking up on her even if I don't want to and I still think about her a lot. I don't know why she thought of me the way she did, but Chris said she was just a bad apple. He said had it been ANY other girl, I could have gone places. In some ways I don't want to believe she is a bad person though, and I don't think she is. I don't know why she thinks of me the way she does or hates me as she said she does. Why do I deserve that? I admit, I am socially immature in some ways, I've always been a shy, queit person, but everyone says she shouldn't have treated me as poorly as she did, that you don't treat a person who is socially immature that way. I also keep wishing she would talk to me again and thinking if I had acted differently, would she not dislike me anymore. I had always thought she was like similar to me, which is why I liked her, but I guess she isn't. Still I check up on her, think about her, and every time I see a picture of her, I worry that someone one day is going to try and take advantage of her, espcially since I found out she has a new boyfriend. I've been told I should just forget about it and move on, but I can't seem to drop it. I don't want to say it's to the point where I'm obsessed, but it seems that way, and I feel guilty about it. I need a way to just make myself stop thinking about it because I don't want it to begin interfering with other things in my life.

Merika · 07-05-2005, 09:22 AM

I don't think someone not being interested in you as far as a love connection is any indication that they are a mean person. Two people not being right for each other doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either one of them....they just aren't right for each other.

After a couple of years, you may still have an interest in what direction her life takes, but I don't know if you should feel overly protective. For you to continue staying focused on someone who doesn't share your same feelings....is only keeping you from finding someone who may return your love. In short....it becomes a waste of time.

It's hard to let go....but if you don't....then you can never move on. You can post on here, on other forums, find new interests, make new friends....whatever it takes to slowly get your mind thinking in another direction.

Have you had any contact with her at all?

Link_BaconBitz · 07-05-2005, 09:40 AM

The last time I talked to her was over AIM and that was some months ago...and of course she wasn't exactly eager to talk to me.

I know it doesn't make someone mean to not share the same feeling. I'm saying she's mean because she's treated me like crap and said things in the past that I don't think I deserved.

Merika · 07-05-2005, 10:09 AM

Have you ever taken some time to question yourself that if she treated you so badly....why are you still interested? Perhaps, due to your crush and long term interest in her.....she did and said things just to give you a hint that she wasn't interested in the same capacity that you were.

I don't think there is anything harder to accept than the fact that the person you most care about....doesn't share the same feelings back. I've went through it and so have most of the other people in here. It's painful and it takes awhile to get beyond it.

The good part is....other than hanging out with joint friends....you really didn't have a totally intimate relationship. It'll make it easier to move on if you quit focusing on what may have been. I had to post about a situtation for about 6 months...and then I began reading my own posts thinking....GAWD what am I doing? LOL! After I quit focusing on the situation....I began to move beyond it.

Have you dated anyone else since that time?

Link_BaconBitz · 07-05-2005, 10:46 AM

I've never dated anyone in my life, lol. This was really the first girl I ever knew even a little bit.

Merika · 07-05-2005, 11:03 AM

Sometimes first love is hard to let go of. You could think about the qualities about her you liked to help direct you towards the kind of girl which attracts you though.

Duke · 07-05-2005, 01:49 PM

I think she's a hag, let her go man.

It's one thing to say you're not interested, quite another to explain why. It sounds to me like she was a bit cold in this aspect IMO.

I don't think your obsessed because that first relationship is always the toughest. I'd try and meet someone new though because it will not only help you forget, but may also help you to get out of your shell more.

twinkle · 07-05-2005, 02:28 PM

One thing I can tell you about girls, they will talk nasty to you if you bother 'em. Let thel think that they can't have you and they won't have enough of you.

Easy as pie, isn't it? Just drop it, even if she's not a bad person, she obviously isn't interested in you romantically or any other way. Her loss!

Vautrin · 07-05-2005, 05:43 PM

Same thing happened to me, about a year ago - not my first love, but I still had not been in a relationship up until that point. She did not mind playing games with my mind either. Honesty was probably a foreign concept to her.

The trick is not to pay any attention to her. Stop obsessing about her. There is no need to find out why she is as she is, and why she behaved as she behaved. These questions are best left to professional writers. Your life goes on. And will get better. At least mine did

Merika · 07-06-2005, 01:52 PM

I just noticed you were from Florida....that makes 3 of us!

Link_BaconBitz · 07-06-2005, 09:25 PM

Cool, what part of Florida are you guys in?

I also noticed that some of you all here have kids, how old are most of the people here? I'm only 20.

Duke · 07-06-2005, 09:32 PM

She's in the vorted 30 feet above you.

OK, that wasn't too funny. :oops:

Link_BaconBitz · 07-19-2005, 01:54 PM

Something else I wanted to add about the whole girlfriend thing. What the hell is it with the whole, "women are superior" crap. People make it sound like the guy is worthless and the girl is a queen who gets everything she wants. Maybe I've watched too much tv... I dunno. Then I hear my friends talk like it's all about money... it shouldn't be, and I hope it isn't. And that having a girlfriend is a pain in the butt. If your really meant for eachother, crap like this shouldn't happen, ya know? They make it sound like the girl gets everything and the guy gets treated like crap. Thinking about things like this irks me..

Merika · 07-19-2005, 02:05 PM

Dating is always hard. It takes a long time for me to find someone who's company I enjoy....even when I'm sober. HAHA!

Maybe we should chip in and buy this book:

07-19-2005, 02:17 PM

Like I had said before, I've never dated anyone at all, let alone really even know any girls that well, but I'm sure that book could help me. :P

I'm just hoping some of the things I hear aren't true. And I believe if you are smart about it, none of those bad things will happen.