improving myself

darkangelism · 05-20-2005, 11:49 PM

I am trying to find ways to improve myself. The mental aspect is the hardest part. I have days,like today where i feel good and then there are days(the majority) where i feel bad. The last few girl rejections really messed up my confidence. On the other hand i had the two girls i like give me advice(though somewhat conflicting) on things i could do to be more attractive. Cut my hair is number one, one says i should get as muscular as possible as she and most girls like that, the other one disagrees. They said that if i can cook for a girl thats a good thing, and im trying to learn. One of them said that i shouldnt be self concious about my disability because if its the reason that a girl doesnt like me then she isnt worth my time anyway.

Duke · 05-21-2005, 02:26 AM

Their just telling you their personal likes and desires. Many women are different than men, their not as selective as we are because they know that the gender their selecting from is full of knuckle-dragging idiots such as myself. If you can look a woman in the eye, talk to her and better yet, listen, plus are confident, you'll land a lot of women.

Being scrawny doesn't matter at all. I was 145 lbs and 6' tall and was never single for more than a few days over the course of 9 years. It may sound silly, but you need to turn that frown upside down and work on getting that sparkle in your eyes, that'll drive the women crazy and they'll be tripping over themselves to find out why. The other thing is you have to make it a way of life and stop moping all the time because that is your biggest problem and it's taking you nowhere fast.

darkangelism · 05-22-2005, 01:06 AM

yeah, they are telling me what they want, and if i could end up with them then it would be good.

Yeah the confidence is the important part, but me looking better helps that. I am only 135 lbs. my goal is 170.

one of them thinks i have all this confidence cause i fake it when im around her, and she hasnt seen through it yet.

Star · 05-22-2005, 06:09 AM

DA, as I mentioned before, you really do need to change your way of thinking. You need to start thinking possitive. If all you do is think negative then nothing positive will never happen.

You have to condition your mind and turn it around. Duke's right. Women all like different things when it comes to men but the one thing that women do like in common is self-confidence and that has to come within yourself. Change the way that you think about yourself into positive thinking.

Paul · 05-22-2005, 10:36 AM

I don't want to sound like an infomercial here and I'm not saying that it will end all your problems, but I did the Tony Robbins course Personal Power II and in it he teaches you to conidition your mind to immediately change a normal negative response into a positive one, something which greatly affects how you feel and how others around you precieve you.

What I find works, just for me, whenever I have a negative thought about myself or my ability to do something, I immediately interrupt it with something positive which for me is usually a song I like which I'll start singing to myself or humming. I've trained myself to do this so well that I don't even notice it and I'll laugh when I catch myself doing it because I know how well it works. It's not always easy just to think positive, but when you train your mind and body to not allow negative thought processes to be able to work, you do yourself and everyone around you a whole lot of good.

Duke · 05-22-2005, 05:03 PM

You must be getting kickbacks from the guy Paul because you've mentioned him before. You can go that route da but it's not a necessity. If you just stop feeling sorry for yourself and actually start living life a bit and not worrying all the time, you'll be fine.

Stone · 05-22-2005, 05:06 PM

Work out, excersize really helps the mind & the body. there are so many health benifits to working out the list could go on forever. It will help you become more motivated, sleep better, feel better, preform better, and it is a wonderful way to get out anger.

darkangelism · 05-22-2005, 10:48 PM

yeah the excercise is helping, im getting coccky about how i look though, the words "im th ehottest indian guy at school" have left my mouth. Yeah ill look into tony robbins.

Duke · 05-23-2005, 12:16 AM

Why is it that you seem to live the extremes? You go from the lowest point to the highest peak in no time at all, it's not an attractive trait d00d. Hell I'm no gal but I can tell you that I'd prolly keep my distance as well.

Level out man and fly straight. Cocky jerk is just as unappealing as always wearing a cloak of depression. The main difference of course is that being a cocky jerk means no one wants to hear what you have to say regardless of how you feel.

Can't you just aim straight forward and throw out all the drama?

Paul · 05-23-2005, 01:30 AM

I guess the reason I mention it is because it's the only thing that worked. I use to do the extremes, you saw the tail end of that with my departure from wolf and honestly following those steps helped snap me out of it. It's really easy to say "I'm just gonna chill out and be level emotionally" but the fact is that some people are controlled by thier emotions and they swing wildly. The only thing I can suggest myself is to stop the thought process before it becomes harmful. I guess what I'm saying is, if you have a computer virus and AVG was the only thing that found the problem, then you'd tell people about it, it's the same for me and what I learnt from Robbins.

Duke · 05-23-2005, 04:53 AM

I agree with what your saying Paul and won't debate it. I too had confidence issues when I was younger (I think everyone did) and that's what worked for me.

I think da's problem is that he's expecting too much of virtually every situation, needs a woman to find out who he is, and goes from really low to way too high at the drop of a dime. There is no focus there and it's focus that will help him acheive his goals or lack of focus that will ensure he never gets better.

Rock · 05-23-2005, 09:56 AM

Is this the same thing:

clicky

Edited by Duke to fix page stretch

darkangelism · 05-23-2005, 10:16 PM

lol, my problems repeat themselves often. I dont think its true cockiness that i have. Its more of hising behind insecurity.

Merika · 05-24-2005, 06:47 AM

All of us have emotional quirks which get in the way of life running smoothly DA. You are still a young person...as you grow into your own shoes.....you'll find the strengths your have which will help you get beyond the weaknesses.

Look on the bright side....at least you know there are changes you want to make. Some people don't even get to that point. They spend their whole life not realizing they are their own problem.