I have a friend whose son is brain damaged from a near drowning this summer. He asked me to help spread his story in the hopes that other parents won't have to go through what he is going through. I just want to help him and if this helps him than so be it.
Maybe it is helping me to cope with our strained friendship due to this tragedy.
Dave's Story:
On June 7, 2005, Daveââ¬â¢s life was changed forever. His only child, his 14 year old son, Michael, went to the beach, got drunk, went into the Gulf of Mexico, passed out in the water and drown. He was clinically dead for 5 to 10. Vacationers staying in a hotel not far from where Michael was saw him and called 911. A county sheriffââ¬â¢s deputy arrived on the scene, pulled Michael out of the water and resuscitated him. Because of the lack of oxygen to Michael's brain he suffered what is called an Anoxic Brain Injury. Michael was then flown by Life Flight to Sacred Heart Hospital and placed on life support. Michael wasnââ¬â¢t alone at the beach that day. He was with a couple of 16 year old boys, two 19 year old girls, and one 20 year old girl. One of the 16 year olds provided vodka and the girls provided beer. None of these kids tried to stop a 14 year old from drinking and none of them helped him when he passed out in the water. Some of the kids involved went to the hospital that night and when asked if alcohol was involved they responded ââ¬Ånoââ¬Â. After a blood alcohol test was performed it was discovered that Michael had a blood alcohol level of 0.32. This was the beginning of their lies to the authorities. More on this later.
Dave spent just about every day and night for the next few weeks with Michael at the hospital. The first day Michael was there, Dave could not enter his sonââ¬â¢s room because of all the tubes and monitors to which Michael was connected. When he was able to enter his sonââ¬â¢s room the real pain and anger over what had happened began to take hold. Dave started learning just what brain damage can do to a body and suffered the pain and anguish of watching his son go through what laymen call ââ¬ÅStormingââ¬Â or more technically, Dysautonomia. Typical symptoms are: elevated temperature, profuse sweating, increase in heart rate, increase in respiratory rate and labored breathing, agitation, increased muscle stiffness (spasticity), and large pupils. These storms come on without warning and can last for hours. Imagine watching your child thrash around with a heart rate of around 190, soaking his sheets in a matter of minutes and not be able to do anything but watch and hope the drugs used to calm him down take affect soon. This happened daily, sometimes multiple times per day for the first 3 months. Along with this, Michael was on morphine at the beginning of his stay. He became addicted and the hospital had to treat the addiction as well as the brain injury. Another terrible thing for a parent to go through. Michael eventually became medically stable enough for him to begin some real rehabilitation. Dave and Sacred Heart Hospital arranged for Michael to go to Childrenââ¬â¢s Hospital of Atlanta (CHOA). Atlanta is a six hour drive but Dave did it every other week while Michael was there. He and his ex-wife swapped staying with Michael and learning how to care for someone in his condition. They had to learn how to clean his feeding tube, known as a g-tube. They learned how to use a Hoyer lift to get Michael from his bed to his wheelchair and back to his bed. They learned how to take care of someone who canââ¬â¢t swallow, canââ¬â¢t eat, canââ¬â¢t talk, canââ¬â¢t walk, canââ¬â¢t do anything for himself. What they didnââ¬â¢t get and were promised by all the flyers and brochures for the place is the 6 to 8 hours of rehabilitation for Michael. They were lucky to get 2 hours a day. The doctors at CHOA then decided that Michael needed to have the tendons at the back of his legs cut since his muscles were atrophying and his legs were starting to permanently bend. This, of course, delayed his rehab by about a week and a half because they couldnââ¬â¢t do the usual things with Michael while he was healing from surgery. Also during Michaelââ¬â¢s stay at CHOA the doctors decided to insert a Baclofen pump into is abdomen. Baclofen is used to combat the muscle stiffness and spasticity. It is also a way to help control his storming. Michael was sent home at the beginning of September. He is unaware of his surroundings and his body is deteriorating daily since he is bedridden. Dave mentioned once that he sometimes listens to the voicemail greeting on his sonââ¬â¢s cell phone just to hear his voice. Michael is trying to talk and I hope and pray he does it soon. No parent should have to go through this much pain.
Dave and his ex-wife are now learning how to live with a child with special needs. Michael is going to a special school where, hopefully he will get the rehabilitation he needs. There are lots of people praying for Michaelââ¬â¢s recovery and I am one of them. I see the pain on Daveââ¬â¢s face when I see him. I hear it in his voice when I talk to him. He doesnââ¬â¢t sleep well and probably doesnââ¬â¢t eat correctly either. Dave talks about all the heroes in this story, but I think he is also a hero. I admire his perseverance in the face of the injury to his son, in the legal system that is working so slowly, in the fight with the insurance company to get the help he needs, in his undying love for his son and in his fight to make this as public as possible in the hopes that it will help other parents to not have to suffer they way he and his family are suffering. Dave has a very difficult uphill battle to fight and he is slowly making it to the top. He has the help and support of all his friends, me included, to help make the climb a little easier.
If there is a moral to this story it is that all parents need to take an active part in their childââ¬â¢s life. Donââ¬â¢t be their friend, be their parent. Teach them right from wrong while they are young and discipline them when they do the wrong things and be consistent. Show them you love them by talking openly with them and finding out about their friends, where they are going and when they will be back. Find out who their friendsââ¬â¢ parents are and get to know them. Form a calling chain so that when something is going on you can contact each other. The kids on the beach on June 7 all did the wrong thing, including Michael. He will pay for the rest of his life. The others have lied to authorities and some have been arrested and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor as well as giving false statements. One of the adult girls in this case, one of those on trial for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and giving false statements is also a mother. How sad for her child that her mother didnââ¬â¢t have the brains to stop underage boys from drinking. She actually helped get Michael in this condition. It is still a mystery as to who actually provided the alcohol since all the parties involved are minors. But since none of the minors are talking they will be the ones who pay. They have trial dates and all of Daveââ¬â¢s friends are praying they receive the maximum sentence possible. One of them has already been sentenced to at most 9 months in juvenile detention. It is a small victory but a victory nonetheless. Unfortunately the charges are all misdemeanors. They provided alcohol to a minor, he died for a few minutes and is now permanently injured and all they are getting is a slap on the wrist. There is something seriously wrong with our justice system. Go to
www.justiceformichael.com, look at the pictures on the main page and then you decide. Is the picture on the right only worthy of a misdemeanor? I think the charges should have been felonies and the punishments should match the crime! It is time for Florida to change its underage drinking laws.
A Friend Forever,
Jeanne
Helping A Friend
