Grudges

[Duke]

Do you hold grudges, and if so, for how long?

What do you do to not hold a grudge against someone, is it possible?

[darkangelism]

Yes, but i rarely do, there are only two people i hold grudges against.

The way to not hold a grudge is to truly forgive a person for whatever they have done.

[Duke]

I wish I were able to truly forgive but I know I'm not. I know we're all flawed but I can't condone someone who knows right from wrong and choses to do the wrong thing. Usually it's at the expense of innocents, or so it seems.

I think I only hold a grudge toward one, maybe two people in my life so I'm not too worried about it. I'm more curious about others responses to the question.

[Stone]

I don't hold gurdges for long. I'll forgive pretty quickly but I NEVER forget

[Duke]

It takes me a while to truly forgive and I rarely forget as well. Now if you were to treat that person differently due to something they did, is that not considered a grudge?

[darkangelism]

depends on what it is, i mean if you know somebody is always late then you shouldnt expect them to be on time, so you would treat them differently.

[Star]

It really depends on what the person did to me and if it's really that bad, i don't know that i would call that a grudge; more so a cut off my life type thing instead.

Like that friend that really peeved me off a few months ago. I'm not holding a grudge, I'm just not her friend anymore and I will never be her friend again. What she did was unforgivable and it's somethig that friends don't do to eachother so, she's lost me as a friend. Is that a grudge? hmmm..

With normal things, little things, i usually don't even get all that upset so I hold no grudge. I don't let little things bother me when it comes to people that are close to me.

I did however hold a grudge against my best friend for 10 years and she did to me as well. we were both wasted at the time of the incident and it got really bad. we ended up in a physical fight and i beat her up pretty bad. I did feel really bad about that for years but also held a grudge because from what i remember, she had started the whole thing. We got in touch again after 10 years, talked and forgave eachother and continued on being friends again. It was like we never stopped! only thing is that we missed eachother's weddings, childbirths, the important things that we always planned on sharing. That was a really silly grudge to hold. we were young and retarded, and drunk out of our faces.

[Duke]

At least you did manage to put it behind you. You may have missed out on certain events in each others lives but that's no longer the case.

[Merika]

I'd like to say that I don't....because I do forgive easily. However, it would probably be unrealistic and untrue if I said I didn't remember certain people in my life in a begrudging way.

I don't know that I stay mad at someone. I'm more prone to shut them out in my hear forever.....and sometimes....they don't even know it. I can act totally normal to someone....when inside I'm totally pissed.

[Duke]

Okay I'll stop picking on you.

[Luba]

I did hold grudges when I was younger, but now I'm more into analyzing "why" I'm holding a grudge, and work it out so that I can be positive and go on with life.... I find that putting myself into the other's shoes, no matter how difficult that is, and try to understand where they are coming from. Of course, there is a circumstance when it takes a long time to heal a grudge. I guess it's because I don't want to have negative feelings floating around inside me, hurting me.
Sometimes the person you are holding the grudge against has no idea that is the case, and if they did, do they even care?

[Adonaicole]

I forgive everyone completely, in the hope that others will forgive me when I screw up. That doesn't mean I forget or allow them to repeat necessarily.