Dealing with my life

Merika · 02-13-2005, 10:08 AM

Probably one of the most serious problems I have is when I feel choked by humanity. I can't relaxe because I've either got to drive somewhere, get something done, the phone will ring, someone will be at the door or SOMETHING. It goes on and on and won't stop.

This feeling comes in waves....and when I got thru one of them....it's the worst thing in the world. I get to where I can't breathe and I can't think. I wish there was a switch so you could shut life OFF for a little while.

I avoid making friends close up because it's just more people to drown in. I don't want a pill or therapy....what I want is to go sit in a cabin in the woods where not one single soul knows where I am.

Duke · 02-13-2005, 10:24 AM

That sux Merika, sorry to hear it. I too have felt somewhat similar many years ago and made some drastic changes to eliminate the stress of always being a slave to others (thats how I felt about it anyway). Now I pick and chose when I want to go out which is once a week average. I now do things on my own schedule and couldn't be happier for it.

Is there any merit in re-locating somewhere where your not so popular. Let's face it, you're a hell of a great lady online so I have no reason to believe it's any different in person which is likely the reason people want to be around you.

Merika · 02-13-2005, 10:39 AM

I just want a day that belongs to me and can't find one.

Duke · 02-13-2005, 10:41 AM

Can you take a short trip on your own for a few days?

Star · 02-13-2005, 10:46 AM

gee merika, sounds like my life! How about saving up a little money and maybe going on a vacation someplace secluded (camping?). I plan on doing that this summer. We haven't gone on a vacation in a few years and it's well overdue.

Even if you went someplace for the weekend alone. go get yourself a motel room and enjoy things the place has to offer; go to a spa for the weekend and get pampered. :wink:

You have to have your "me" time or you'll go bananas. I try and take my "me" time everyday. When the kids are off to bed, I sit and enjoy the quiet and I relax and do something i like to do by myself. I don't care how late it is. I have to do that or I'll go batty!

Merika · 02-13-2005, 10:52 AM

I have children......I can't leave them. HAHA! God knows I'd LIIKE to sometimes!

I think it comes down to feeling like you have a minimum of control over your life. Even if you are doing something you want to do...and any moment...it's going to be disrupted. So....you don't really relaxe and enjoy the moment. In the background....you are holding your breath.

You are right Star....it makes you feel like you are batty. Even though....if I got picked up right now and put in a padded cell....it would feel like a vacation. LOL!

Star · 02-13-2005, 10:56 AM

it would feel like a vacation wouldn't it? LOL!

isn't there anyone you can leave the kids with for a weekend? a neighbour or a friend? Even for just 1 night?

It is hard to leave the kids behind, I know. I always enjoy taking the kids with us on vacations. not everyone feels that way though.

Ahhh.....The joys of being a MOM! 8O

Duke · 02-13-2005, 12:04 PM

You don't know anyone who can look after your kids for just a weekend?

darkangelism · 02-13-2005, 12:16 PM

unfortunatly for you, most people go to florida for vacation, you are already there. Maybe once you move some of the stress will be gone.

Stone · 02-13-2005, 03:17 PM

Set limits if someone comes over POLITELY say " hey I really appreicate you comming by and I can't wait to chat with you but I am kind of busy right now, when I am finished we'll catch up, give me a call before you come over" that's nice and to the point.

Ask the kids to spen the night at a friends house one day, or offer to take somebodys kids if they take your the next day ect. SEt Limits my dear.

Meanon · 02-13-2005, 09:21 PM

It's anxiety. You can learn things to do to lessen the sensations at the time but prevention is better.

Everyone needs some time to themselves. I know it's so difficult when you have a family. There just aren't enough hours in the day, that's why I stay up so late.

A day may be too difficult to arrange on a regular basis but could you manage half a day, same time every week? No chores, unplug the phone. Do try. It's no good for your health to be this stressed. You get such joy out of life normally, when it starts to ebb that's the time to act.

If you can't arange it yourself, do ask your friends, Merika. Not all will be a drain, I bet some would be happy to take over for a while and let you get some relaxation time.

Merika · 02-14-2005, 07:38 AM

I think a great deal comes from being a single parent. I don't have someone who keeps the kids every other weekend. Sometimes it's okay.....and sometimes I just get tired. I get tired of making decisions, driving them all over the place, dealing with their individual problems and GOOD GAED every friend they have camps out at my house all the time.

In addition, I'm such a crazed fool....that if my bed isn't made my 8:00 am....I feel like a looser. LOL!

Meanon · 02-14-2005, 04:13 PM

I know how you feel. I feel like that sometimes (minus the bed made by 8am bit

). I know it's not easy but try and relax about the things that don't really have to be done.

When you are as busy as we are, the only way to be happy is to make it a more important priority than anything else other than your kids. Otherwise you never get the time to do the things that keep you sane. You are more important than any chores, any obligations.

Take care, my friend. You'll feel better soon.

Duke · 02-14-2005, 07:25 PM

Not having your bed made by 8 AM doesn't make you a loser Merika, everything else does