Weapons of MATH Destuction - A Jokie

Merika · 01-08-2005, 02:03 AM

Subject: Teacher Arrested...
Date: Mon, 27 Dec 2004 21:35:44 -0500

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be
a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a
calculator.

At a morning press conference, the U.S. attorney general said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," the attorney general said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President George W. Bush said, "If
God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes!!!"

Duke · 01-08-2005, 12:10 PM

Did someone make this up?

Meanon · 01-08-2005, 07:34 PM

Meanwhile, in England, the government has responded to the calculus alert by asking it's citizens to be on their guard against suspicious indices. Speaking from Number 10 Downing Street (recently renamed Fred due to the arrest of all numerals on suspicion of collaboration with the enemy), Tony Blair said "The free world will unite to hunt down these quadratic equations which multiply like vermin in our towns and set squares.