using statistics to make life choices

[darkangelism]

today i sat down with a calculator and tried to figure out what i should do with P and R. I decided that i wont go after either of them, i sacrificed any opportunity with R to get more information on P, and found out that she is dating 4 guys right now, so not good news. I then tried to figure out what i should do next, what the odds of various outcomes would be from different actions. Right now my choices all involve P, she had me meet her date yesterday, knowing full well that i like her, so i am mad and hurt by that, so my choices are let it slide and pretend it doesnt bother me, outcome possibilities: it keeps happening and i keep getting hurt, but no drama and i dont seem like a wuss. option 2(the one R thinks i should do) tell P that she hurt my feelings and hope that she hides stuff from me so i dont know whats going on with her and dating. Outcomes: She listens and is more sensitive to my feelings. She doesnt care and just acts like b4 just thinks im a wuss. She tells me to stop liking her. Option 3: i tell her how i feel and that me and her cant be friends anymore(i like this option) outcomes: she feels bad and is ok with it ending. She tells me that we shouldnt end it. Option 4: I dont say anything and just start pulling away, not waiting for her after class, not calling her or messaging her, until she gets the idea that i dont want her around.

History says walking away from the frienship is the most pain free but i lose a friend and even if i can make a dozen more is it worth losing the one. Also maybe i shouldnt do what i normally do and just pull away, or start a fight.

[Paul]

Human behavior is a hard one, you can never account for all the variables. Anyone of your options could have different outcomes, it's really hard to predict what will match with what.

My suggestion though, whatever you do, don't just pull away or start a fight, I'd even go so far as to tell her how you feel but don't even bother to bring up the fact that it bothers you to see her with different guys, that's a given and she would understand that if you've expressed how you feel.

What I'd do in that situation is just let her know that you like her, find out how she feels and either way just be her friend and continue on. It might be difficult but there is no reason to be dramatic in all of this, she either likes you or she doesn't and starting a fight or pretending it doesn't bother you won't help either you or her in this situation. Be honest, depending on the outcome, tell her you're either happy that she feels the same or that you're disappointed that she doesn't but either way remain a gentleman, continue to be her friend, she will admire you for that and hopefully value it. Besides, some of the best relationships start from real friendships, not just initial attraction.

[darkangelism]

i prolly didnt need the statistics, but its the only math, besides addition, subtraction, division and multiplcation that im good at.

im fairly sure that she doesnt like me back, so i expect to be disappointed. Im not sure how she will react, she isnt exactly the most caring person, i could see her saying "i dont care how you feel." Im trying to figure out how i should bring up the topic and if it should be on the phone, internet, email, or face to face, face to face is the best, but location is hard, i dont want it to be at my place, maybe hers. Im supposed to go hang out with her tomorrow but i want to cancel it. i dont feel like seeing her, but i feel obligated to go. Im nervous about telling her, normally i become an a$$ and manipulative and a liar , i dont want to make the same mistakes that i used to make...trying to grow.

[Paul]

That's the most important thing, to learn something from the previous experiences and grow. Now that you are aware of what you do and how those response work against you, it's up to you and in your best interest to try a different approach. In order to attain your goal, find a better way to handle things and prove to yourself that you've matured since the last time. There's nothing quite as fulfilling as overcoming an obstacle or learning a life lesson and applying it!

[darkangelism]

i have been thining about what to say and how to say it all night, i wrote it out, i practiced saying what i had to say, i am more nervous about talking to her then i am about giving a 15 minute presenation in school on tuesday with her. no amount of statistical data can give me a idea of her response, whether or not the friendship means something to her.

The other thing is once i start going i ill probably start putting myself down, and yeah i know thats really unattractive, so i have to try and make sure i dont do it.