A Transgender Transition

[Luba]

I watched an "Oprah" show last week about this topic, and it deeply moved me; what a difficult decision it was for Kimberley to make.

Filmmaker Kimberly Reed's Transgender Transition - Oprah.com

In high school, Paul McKerrow was the starting quarterback and valedictorian. His classmates voted him best looking and most likely to succeed, but today, some may not recognize Helena High's golden boy.

After many years of struggling with his gender identity, Paul decided to become a woman. The transition into Kimberly Reed, a lesbian filmmaker, began in San Francisco just a few years after Paul learned to throw the perfect spiral on Helena High's football field. Kim documents her journey to womanhood in her film Prodigal Sons.

I was deeply moved by what her Mother said, quoted below:

While some people believe homosexuality and gender reassignment are sinful, Carol says she never questioned Kim. "With me, it was never a question of, 'Do I believe in the Bible?' I believed in my child," she says. "I believed that this child was thoughtful, intelligent. ... I just knew that this was a decision that was painfully arrived at."

How would you react if you were told by your child that he/she wanted a transgender transition?

[LovingSpirit]

What a facinating story! I would be understanding. I just know that about myself. But I do think I would have some difficulty dealing with any negative feed back from family.

[TKDLady]

I admit, I would have a hard time. I can accept homosexuality and if you are that way then fine but leave your body alone. God or whatever you believe in built you the way you are built and I think you need to accept that. Doctors need to stop playing God too. JMHO

[LovingSpirit]

Personally I'm not one to think of genetic mistakes as "the way God built you" I'm not aware if this difficulty falls within genetics or not, but something went awry somewhere along the line. I just have a difficult time believing God is responsible. When someone is born a siamese twin do we say, "just live with it, it's what God gave you." NO, we rush in to surgically change the abnormality. If someone is born with webbed toes or an extra finger, we rush in to have things surgically corrected. How is a transgender transition any different than these examples?

[TKDLady]

The things you mention are deformities. I don't look at the two as the same.

[LovingSpirit]

Originally Posted by TKDLady

The things you mention are deformities. I don't look at the two as the same.

Altho science hasn't proven it yet, who's to say there isn't some genetic deformity that happens along the way that creates such difficulties as the ones faced by those who live in the wrong gender bodies.

Here's an interesting article from my region. Very interesting. He used to be a John Denver impersonator.

http://www.gazette.com/entertainment...ide-years.html

[Star]

i would have no other choice but to understand that this is what my child needs to do to feel like a whole person.

here's an interesting question...what about the people who are born with both female and male genitals? how does a parent choose which gender to keep for the child?

now that['s a decision i don't think i would be able to make because how guilty would i feel if i chose the wrong one for my child.

[TKDLady]

Originally Posted by Star

i would have no other choice but to understand that this is what my child needs to do to feel like a whole person.

here's an interesting question...what about the people who are born with both female and male genitals? how does a parent choose which gender to keep for the child?

now that['s a decision i don't think i would be able to make because how guilty would i feel if i chose the wrong one for my child.

I have a friend who had just that problem. They chose to make him a male. I know he took hormones to make it all work but either way he or she would have had to do that. But again, that is different than a person of age deciding to surgically change their sex. The above scenario is a birth defect. I wouldn't stop my child from having the transgender surgery but I wouldn't like it either. To me that is like having plastic surgery. We will just have to agree to disagree on this subject.

[Star]

Originally Posted by TKDLady

I have a friend who had just that problem. They chose to make him a male. I know he took hormones to make it all work but either way he or she would have had to do that. But again, that is different than a person of age deciding to surgically change their sex. The above scenario is a birth defect. I wouldn't stop my child from having the transgender surgery but I wouldn't like it either. To me that is like having plastic surgery. We will just have to agree to disagree on this subject.

I don't disagree with your statement, not at all.

i also knew a girl who was born that way and they chose to make her a girl. i agree that's a birth defect and is entirely different from having a sex change. i was just stating how difficult of a decision that would be to make for your baby - - i don't know that i could make that decision.

I wouldn't like it either if my child wanted a sex change operation. but, having said that, there wouldn't be anything i could do to change the need in my child if this would mean for my child to be happy, then i would have no choice but to support the decision....doesn't mean i would like it though but i'm also not the one living with this fight inside of me so like it or not, i'm not the one who would have to live with whatever decision my child would make.

i believe it is like having plastic surgery as well. i, personally wouldn't do any of that (even if i see myself falling apart as i get older) but i can't stop anyone who really wants to do it.

when i become a senior, there will be a lot little old ladies with perky breasts, tatoos and peircings everywhere with no wrinkles on their faces. the image of all that is well...

[TKDLady]

I guess I have to be better about breaking up my posts. The last comment was more for LovingSpirit's earlier comment. Our opinions differ. I understand you point of view and if we were talking about one of my kids, I would accept their decision. I just wouldn't be able to be totally happy about it. That is my opinion and I guess I am not bending.

[IvyRose]

Eh... to be honest, I would have a little bit of problem with this one too. For one, I'd worry about the surgeries. I guess it's because my kid has had so many surgeries, that having more would be so risky. There are no routine surgeries and the fear for him would be tremendous.

For two, for my own personal issue is that I've always known my kid as one gender his whole life and it would be difficult to treat him as another. I guess that would determine though on how he acted growing up. He's all boy, even in his personality. So, the thought of him becoming a girl would be a huge adjustment period for me.

Thirdly, I'd worry about how my kid would look after surgery. Would it be believable enough not to get bullied throughout the rest of his life. He already gets called a lot of things because he's in a wheelchair now. I'd really hate to see the name calling and preaching from the religious communities get any worse.

[LovingSpirit]

Originally Posted by Star

i would have no other choice but to understand that this is what my child needs to do to feel like a whole person.

here's an interesting question...what about the people who are born with both female and male genitals? how does a parent choose which gender to keep for the child?

now that['s a decision i don't think i would be able to make because how guilty would i feel if i chose the wrong one for my child.

This undoubtedly is a difficult situation for all involved. However, I don't think it's up to us to chose the gender in such cases. Maybe years ago they did because they didn't know what to do, but in these days, I think it's simple enough to dress a child that neither male or female and allow the child to make the decision based on his/her own feelings. God bless the families that have to deal with this. It must be difficult to answer the question so many ask when admiring a new baby......boy or girl. I do believe there is a predominate gene in there tho that helps the child determine if they are more male or more female. Surgeries are available now and I think that if all people are open about the situation, then the greater understanding all involved will have.

[LovingSpirit]

We will just have to agree to disagree on this subject.

Yes, we can agree to disagree. It's a difficult and controversial subject of which there are many feelings and opinions. The conversation is good tho and I appreciate all the input and opinions. It's good sharing our feelings this way. No one decision is right or wrong, it's just intense.