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[Star]

the only way to know that DA is ask your friends. they can tell you what they saw when they met you. the worst thing you can do is ask a person you just meet what they see in you. that's an instant turn off IMO.

[Duke]

How can they not see it?

You gotta think its something obvious, you've been posting pretty much the same thing for God knows how many posts now and have shown no signs of understanding at all. You have you good days and bad but always revert back to the mood your in now.

I really believe you've been given more help, understanding and compassion than anyone I've ever met to date and none of its going to do you any good until you take some affirmative action. The other thing is (I can't believe I'm saying this) is you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself. All your doing is talking yourself lower virtually every time and I'm extremely confident you wear all of this on your sleeve for everyone to see.

One question I do have, is your counseling group? If not, why?

[darkangelism]

i have both individual and group counselling. Im not so sure that i wear it on my sleeve, i am not the same in real life.

[Weiser]

Alright give me a few minutes I got something to say.

[Weiser]

Alright, it really sounds like you have extremely low self confidence, perhaps even low self esteem. You can change that IF you want. If you don't want to don't read the rest of this.

Try this, close your eyes and imagine a picture of the person that you want to be. Imagine how you'll be dressed, expression on your face, how you're standing. Every single detail. Take that picture, throw it up into the air and have it start raining copies of it all around you, as far as you can see. Your past, your future, the present. It sounds REALLY silly, but it's going to help direct your mind towards the you that you want to be.

Have you heard of internal dialogue or self talk? Basically its the way you talk to yourself inside your head. Everyone does it, all day long. But most people are talking negatively to themselves instead of talking positively. In my opinion negative self talk is one of main causes of low self esteem and giving up. If you tell yourself something enough times, you'll begin to believe it. I may be the first person that's ever pointed this out to you, so it might sound a little strange. I might be reminding you of something you already know too. In any event, make a commitment to yourself to start talking positively to yourself and to be encouraging from now on. Put it on your calendar. Send yourself emails. Do whatever you have to do so you remember to be nice to yourself when you talk to yourself.

If you're one of those people that likes being negative, arguing with everything, finding why things can never work for you, and why everyone is wrong, then do me and you a favor forget I ever brought this up. You've made a choice to be negative with yourself, and I'm not all that interested in helping you see a better way. If on the other hand, you are one of the people that is willing to give new things a try then I think you will be successful. The key here is to begin taking a positive mindset and talking to yourself in a positive way.

You don't believe me? Try it out!

[darkangelism]

wow thats good advice, im gonna try that, but its gonna be harder then i probably think.

[Star]

da, you've already started in a negative way by saying that it's going to be harder then you probably think. stop being negative.

weiser gave you some really good advice that i guarantee works but you have to do everything in a positive, not a negative. do what he suggests possitively. you'll be thrilled with the outcome in the end.

[Duke]

Try something at least with an open mind. You are your biggest obstacle da.

[darkangelism]

its really hard to not be negative, i dont even think about it, i just do it. I think just starting with not being negative is what im gonna do, just neither positive or negative. A lot of my problem is that i can easily name dozens of instances that feed the negativity, but none that feed the positive.

[Duke]

Well stop focusing on the dozen or so and start looking for positives. Go to the gym, get some endorphins surging through your body. Don't drink (depressant), and don't isolate yourself by staying at home, etc.

Your way too young and have a lot going for you if you could just get out of this constant funk your in.

[darkangelism]

tomorrow if i wake up at a decent hour im gonna go run, i want to be in better shape for when i go to europe. because this topic is in a few threads im not sure if this goes here, but i asked what people think of me when they first meet me and they said that im too shy and dont talk enough, so i do seem like i have no confidence, you were right.

[Merika]

I think you should print Weiser's advice.

Truth is....you aren't a 16 year old boy anymore....you are a 21 year old man with a great career future ahead of you. If you don't act like one....no one will respect you as such.

Get a job....any job....and start feeling secure in the fact that you can pay a few of your own bills. Then, you'll quit feeling like a kid under your parents thumb. In short....time to grow up.

You can do it!!

[darkangelism]

thats a good idea, printing weiser's advice that is...i dont have time for a job when im looking for a real job.

[Duke]

Huh? You can work somewhere and still apply at other places. People do it every day.