Some of your "not so fine" moments

Duke · 10-01-2004, 12:23 AM

Regrets, I have a few. Do you?

Crimes of my youth.

1) I was not too bad looking and dated a lot of different women regardless of commitment to any of them. I hurt some really great people.

2) Was a pothead and alcohol induced a-hole for about 6 months. Actually drove home with a car full of terrified passengers on the wrong side of the road in the middle of the night on curvy backroads. To make it interesting, I often did it with no headlights. I did this on more than one occasion.

3) I was the wheelman for a drug dealer who beat on his wife often. I never knew this until the end when I finally said goodbye to the life. I also hung out with pimps, prostitutes, carjackers and other known criminals. I never allowed myself to get sucked into the life even though the door was open. I had ample opportunity to co-run a drug distribution empire, become a pimp or drive for other criminals.

4) Cheated on most of my girlfriends up to the age of 27. Never again after that due to an overwhelming guilty conscience.

5) Planned my own suicide to the last detail. I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for a new born baby girl.

My daughter saved my life. I have no doubt of this as I was on a one way path to self destruction. I love my daughter for many reasons, all of which she has earned by simply being herself. I owe her my life.

Everything that I list above is in order of how it happened. I am the sole reason my life was as ****ty as I perceived it. I realized this one day and turned it around.

I hope this post doesn't make any of you think less of me but I guess this site, this forum, and this environment I'm trying to create is part of a giant purging process for me. Not only that but I honestly felt lost, hopeless and confused for a few years. I still see the face of a guy who jumped to his death from one of the local bridges here in the lower mainland. I still see the hopelessness in the red face that floats somewhere in the back of my mind.

My memories haunt me. I've learned a lot and lived a very full life. I regret some of the things I've done but wouldn't change them for the world. I think they helped to turn me into the sensitive pile of mush that stares back at me in the mirror ever day.

Thanks for reading,

Ken

Wapwap · 10-01-2004, 03:22 AM

Wow, thats an impressive story to read Ken...

I admire you for the fact that you were be able to say goodbye to your old 'criminal' life, even though the way was open and the ability to gain more power.

I have been on a straight line so far... don't do drugs (have been using weed though), don't drive when I have been drinking.. etc.

Mondo · 10-01-2004, 04:54 AM

I have lots of regrets but I wouldn't change a thing...well maybe a few. I'd like to go back in time somtimes and slap myself.

Merika · 10-01-2004, 05:30 PM

I have a date tonight and don't have enough time to list my extensive list of 'personal failures'. LOL. However, I will make an inventory during beer 2 which should be QUITE the reflection!

Hopefully, I won't try to type them after beer 5. The tipsy version is somewhat pathetic and you will all feel sorry for me.....or possibly BAN me from the board. HAHAHA!

be back later......

Duke · 10-01-2004, 07:29 PM

Have a good time on your date.

Just not too good a time young lady...

Thanks for the kind words wappy. If I'm going to run a site catered to people "getting it off their chest", then I'd better be prepared to lead by example. To tell you the honest truth, I feel way better now that I've put that information out there.

Merika · 10-03-2004, 11:15 AM

Some of your "not so fine" moments....(Thread title)

I just realized it was all the "I think I'm so fine beer moments" which got me in mostl of MY life compromising situations to begin with! LOL!

1. Speaking of beer.....I used to drink way too much of it.

2. I have been VERY self serving through most of my life. It isn't just an incident or two....this is a major character flaw.

3. Going out of my way to make someone else happy is not one of my high points.

4. I have no pride when it comes to flirting. Yet...another major character flaw.

This isn't really the type of list you were looking for though. With that in mind.....

5. I live in denial when it comes to itemizing my Frig Ups.

Other than all that....I'm PERFECT in every way!!!

Duke · 10-05-2004, 07:12 PM

denial is not a river in egypt ;-)

Luba · 06-25-2005, 09:40 PM

Not having enough courage to protect my children from their verbal abusive grandfather...always teaching them to respect their elders until one day it hit me that elders should earn the respect, not just be given it...then I kicked him out of the house....but by then, the damage was done....it was then that my self-esteem began to rise, but it didn't come quick enough....
I WILL ALWAYS BE SORRY FOR THAT UNTIL I DIE!!!

Duke · 06-25-2005, 10:41 PM

Personally I don't believe you have anything to feel sorry for. The problem was with the elders, not with you.

Sadly in our world, adults are taken at their word more often than kids are which shouldn't be the case. If anything, a parent should examine both sides of the story, come to their own conclusions and police the situation based off those findings.

The thing I've come to realize as a parent seems to differ from many other parents I know. I don't believe the kid is lying, telling the truth or anything intentionally. Kids perceive situations much differently than we do so it's best to keep that in mind when discussing anything serious in nature and try to see it from their eyes. I've gained a lot of "kid" wisdom by throwing the adult crap away.

It also really helps if you can try to listen through your own ears and understand with your brain, only roll the clock back 20 or 30 years to when you were that age. It seems to have helped me immensly anyway and my daughter still talks to me about everything (and I mean everything).

Luba · 06-26-2005, 06:39 AM

In my day (is that dating me or what?) "kids were seen and not heard" which is how most kids were brought up! My problem is that I KNEW my kids were telling the truth but I had no self-esteem or guts to do anything about the "reigning monarch" of my husband's family until the damage was done, until I just couldn't take it anymore!
Sadly, the "Monarch's" family turned away from us, too, after believing his story on what a ***** I'd become...after I threw him out and later wrote a letter that he was never to cross our doorstep again unless he was invited....he never DID come again....