sad night

darkangelism · 12-09-2005, 02:36 AM

well it finally hit me that i have to leave NY after i graduate, as i have no job or anything. I went to the bar tonight, i barely drank, i had a good conversation with this hot girl that i like, who i never really got to talk to before...yet i realized that tonight was the last time i would ever see my favorite bartender, she always was nice, always was flirty with me, a confidnce booster, to hear "hey good looking" or something like that. She only works every other week, so i wont see her again. I was dreading the goodbye the whole night, so when it came, it was hard, i gave her a goodbye hug and kiss, tipped her 200% of my bill, walked out, and started crying on my way home, saying goodbye sucks, and this is just the first of many...all i know is that im glad i dont have to say goodbye to you all.

Duke · 12-09-2005, 02:50 AM

Ya, goodbyes aren't easy, I have to say goodbye to my daughter every 2nd weekend and it feels as if someone is pulling my heart out every single time.

darkangelism · 12-09-2005, 03:05 AM

yeah i cant even imagine what that is like.

Duke · 12-09-2005, 03:59 AM

You don't want to either, believe me.

Meanon · 12-09-2005, 11:28 AM

Sorry to hear you are sad, DA. I hate goodbyes too. There's no reason you can't go back to NY one day, if that's what you want to do. You'll be able to stay in touch with some of your friends too, I'm sure. I know it won't be the same, but it's not the case that all the things you will miss most will be denied you forever.

Part if the reason change is so hard is that the future hasn't happened yet, so when you think about losing what you have now you have nothing to compare it to - just a void. That makes you dread the loss of what you have even more. You will find other good things in life elsewhere. Think of it this way: if you are sad to leave, that helps you realise what makes you happy and you can then set about finding that in your new life.

Ayla · 12-09-2005, 11:59 AM

I know how you feel DA. 3 years ago I left everything on a whim and moved to Alabama to be with what is now my husband. I WANTED to go, but at the same time I was leaving everything I knew. All my family, my friends, my very way of life.

It's hard but just look at each new day as an adventure. If you love NY then make it your goal to get back there. You'll be fine DA no matter what you do. Have faith in yourself.

darkangelism · 12-09-2005, 12:18 PM

yeah, i think its more the fear of loss then the actuality of it. Also the fact that people like my bartender, i wont see again, we are not close enough to stay in contact. Also i did this before, i moved right after high school. I am not really sure whether or not i would want to come back after i am gone, i kinda think ill settle into the other life and not want that to change.

Star · 12-09-2005, 02:32 PM

it's very sad but that's life. I've left a LOT of friends behind in the past years from moving here and there.

I'm lucky to have kept a couple of my friends from my childhood considering how many times i moved around.

DA, you'll make a new life for yourself and meet new acquaintences and friends. you'll be okay.

darkangelism · 12-09-2005, 02:43 PM

yeah im not worried about making new friends, i never had a problem with that, its just the missing the ones i have. But yeah i know ill be ok, its just sad being in the moment.