I just wanted to pop my head in and say hi to everyone and let you know I haven't forgotten about you...or the forum.
I've been incredibly busy these past couple of weeks. I won't bore you with all the details. But one bit of BIG news I have is that our son John has been transferred out of Iraq and sent to do a job in Kuwait for the remainder of his deployment!! WOO HOO!! We are SO relieved that he is out of the "hellhole" as he calls it and is somewhere safer. We can finally sleep at night.
But it came with a bit of a good news/bad news catch. He was detached from his battalion and attached to a different one to go work on logistics and embarkation for several battalions that are going to be moving out and others who will be replacing them throughout the next few months. But his deployment has been extended by one month.
Now he is scheduled to come home April 15th rather than March 15th. WE think it's worth the trade-off though. He's not so sure.
He's been a bit depressed since he arrived in Kuwait. He misses his buddies...hates being detached from his unit and out of the loop on what is going on with them, worries about them...hates the fact that he won't be a part of all the homecoming festivities that are being planned for the battalion. He's afraid everybody will forget him by the time he gets home.
Everybody says it's natural for a Marine to go through what he's feeling. He has some guilt over the fact that he's in Kuwait and most of them are still out there in a very rough situation that is getting tougher and more dangerous by the day. He's having to undergo a tough personal adjustment.
Just little things are strange to him...like the fact that he has had to carry his weapon loaded and constantly by his side at all times for the past six months and be always on the alert. He said when he got there and was walking around with his gun he was constantly being asked, "Is that thing loaded?" He was like...um...yes. They said, "We don't do that here. Put it on safety. And you don't have to carry it with you when you eat." They acted like he was nuts. Well, being in Iraq for six months will do that to you, ya know.
A few days after John left his post in Iraq, his battalion suffered another loss (their third in a little over a month). It happened during a convoy...on the same road he has travelled many times in convoys. It has been heartbreaking news to "our" battalion, which I am also a volunteer for since they are out of our hometown.
John doesn't know yet and we are trying to decide whether to tell him. I guess he has a right to know, but it's going to be very hard on him. He's pretty much alone right now to deal with this, since he doesn't know any of the guys he's been put with yet. It's like deja vu. See, when he had just finished boot camp and had been sent to North Carolina to start his training...two days into it his brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was pretty much all alone when he found out. He only got to come home on leave for 10 days and then was returned to complete his training. He said he felt so alone, not knowing many people yet, and it was the toughest thing he's ever gone through. That was five years ago. Now this.
While this is supposed to be a happy time for us, knowing that John is in a safer place -- and it IS -- it's still hard for me to deal with. With being so involved in his battalion and working with so many of the families, getting to know the moms and wives very well over the last nine months since the guys found out they were being deployed, we have all supported each other and gone through the exact same things together.
Now I'm in an awkward situation with our son not being part of that anymore. I haven't felt comfortable talking to anyone about this. I'm so afraid of how they will react or feel about the fact that their sons and husbands are still out there while our son got to leave. I don't know what to say to them. I don't want to be the "outcast" because they think I can no longer relate to what they're going through, or because they are jealous or whatever, so I just haven't said anything. But sooner or later some of them are going to find out.
I'm just in a tough situation. I was just getting up the courage to talk to a few of my closest friends in the battalion when the news came of this young man's death on Monday. Now it seems the timing would be all wrong. Our family is mourning his death also. I feel like these guys are all "my boys" in so many ways.
Okay, now that I've written a novel, I'll quit for now.
I hope everybody is doing well and enjoying their family. Hold them tight and appreciate them. That's my advice for the day.
Cindy
Just checking in to say hi
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