What do you do when friends critisize you?

[TKDLady]

I recently had a friend tell me that I had a personality trait that he thought might be off-putting to people who don't know me too well. I took it poorly. I guess it kind of depends on the kind of relationship you have with this friend. He is a bit sarcastic and I can never tell if he is being truthful or pulling my leg. He is very good at it. Today when I asked him if he really meant it he said, "It is me, why do you believe me?". My relationship with him is neither here nor there but I thought about my reaction. How do you handle criticism from friends?

[Duke]

If one person says it, discount it; if two people say it, consider it; if three people say it then it's likely true.

...at least that's how I look at it.

[Vautrin]

As a general rule of thumb, that is true. Unless all the friends are the same type (always whining about others imperfections, and completely ignorant of their own shortcomings).

In general I handle it poorly. , and I am not one to criticise friends.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by Vautrin

As a general rule of thumb, that is true. Unless all the friends are the same type (always whining about others imperfections, and completely ignorant of their own shortcomings).

I don't have these kind of friends. I try to surround myself with good people who'd rather self criticize rather than point out flaws in others.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by TKDLady

How do you handle criticism from friends?

I don't like friends that criticise my feelings; "Oh you oughtn't FEEL that way: Don't be pissed off because Inconsiderate Boob blew off getting on the plane, stayed in Vegas an extra night, and never called."


On the OTHER hand:


If I have a friend that criticises my plan; "Oh you shouldn't bring a HUGE CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER to pick up Inconsiderate Boob at the airport. Remember he's been through a lot, war, death, destruction, MRE's..........you may want to give him a break."

Then I appreciate it.

[TKDLady]

Thanks Scott that helped a bunch!

[Weiser]

Hmm, usually the only things my friends criticise is one anothers inability to drink if you can't keep up. You get ridiculed and told to clean the sand out from your v@g^n&. Then you either man up and drink, punch the criticiser in the arm or both.

Simple life I lead, I know.

[TKDLady]

I think I could handle you life for about a week Weiser. It would be a fun week however.

[DngrMse]

Originally Posted by Duke

If one person says it, discount it; if two people say it, consider it; if three people say it then it's likely true.

...at least that's how I look at it.

When one friend says it, and later disappears, the rest of my friends know better than to bring it up again. /nod

[John]

Originally Posted by Duke

If one person says it, discount it; if two people say it, consider it; if three people say it then it's likely true.

...at least that's how I look at it.

Yeah, I say that's a pretty fair and honest appraisal of how to take criticism.

[boedicca]

There's a difference between constructive feedback (well intentuioned) and hurtful criticism (malicious intentional pain infliction).

I can handle the first from good friends - if they do the latter, then we don't stay friends for long.

[Meanon]

I don't think friends should criticise. If it was a friend I'd be upset, unless I asked for comment in which case they would say it kindly.