What do you do when friends critisize you?

[trollgirl]

Originally Posted by John Sullivan

There is a wonderful poem I like when I think about considering what others have to say about us. It reminds me what's really important in life. Self honesty and awareness.

There is some confusion about just who wrote it.



THE MAN IN THE GLASS


When you get what you want in your struggles for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.


For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.


Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.


He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clear to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.


You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

Reminds me of that Michael Jackson song "Man in the Mirror".

[BridgieBridge]

Originally Posted by boedicca

There's a difference between constructive feedback (well intentuioned) and hurtful criticism (malicious intentional pain infliction).

I can handle the first from good friends - if they do the latter, then we don't stay friends for long.

I'm right here with Boe on this one.

[Luba]

I used to try to please everyone and wore myself out and now since I know who I am within I don't take it as personally as I used to. It also depends on a person's delivery with me. Last year a friend whom I loved hurt me terribly out-of-the-blue and she is not a friend anymore; did me a great favor, actually. I don't have to listen to how difficult her life is anymore, but we do have a 'hi', a smile, and a conversation once in awhile. I find I still care for her and want her to find happiness, but I also realize I'm not the one to take on that role of a real and true friend, too difficult a job.

[Waternymph]

Originally Posted by TKDLady

I recently had a friend tell me that I had a personality trait that he thought might be off-putting to people who don't know me too well. I took it poorly. I guess it kind of depends on the kind of relationship you have with this friend. He is a bit sarcastic and I can never tell if he is being truthful or pulling my leg. He is very good at it. Today when I asked him if he really meant it he said, "It is me, why do you believe me?". My relationship with him is neither here nor there but I thought about my reaction. How do you handle criticism from friends?

A real friend doesnt say this to you, i am sure he also has some traits that you dont like but havent told him about? JMHO.