Weird Friendship?

Stone · 01-07-2005, 11:50 AM

My friend Jenn is my favorite person in the world, we have such a great relationship but it's a little strange.

I write all of her checks for her, balance her checkbook, make her dinner 3 times a week, help raise her daughter ect... It's strange but she also does very important things for me to and she is a very supportive friend. We take vacations togeather ect. I love her to death ( in a weird sisterly way)

Her husband is very jellous of me and wants us to stop being so close.. I've known her for so long I don't think that's possible.. Her husband calls me her wife! I think that's insulting, she's like my sister. He is so upset now after 7 years, he called me and told me off... WTF did I do? I want to call him back and put him in his place but don't know if I should.

Do you think our friendship is Weird?

Fayebelle · 01-07-2005, 11:59 AM

NOPE you're pals- that's what pals do

People are always leary of things they don't understand- he just doesn't get girlfriends. That's his prob not yours

twinkle · 01-07-2005, 12:16 PM

I think he wants war so that she has to choose. I say don't give it to him. He's on one side, you're a very important part of another.

Don't confront him.

Friendship is sooo hard to find and even harder to keep, so be extra carefull.

Try to avoid making him jealous, if possible. MAybe they're having problems and he's making you have it... Who knows?

Be her friend just like before and ignore the guy.

Merika · 01-07-2005, 12:18 PM

How does SHE feel about what he said?

Samson · 01-07-2005, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Her husband calls me her wife! I think that's insulting

Ummmmm........as I was reading through the post I was having this exact same thought.......but, I don't mean to insult you. It does seem you do an extraordinary amount of stuff for this person.

Unless you get paid for it, or she is handicapped, I'm wondering what you get in return?

Perhaps her husband is wondering the same thing?

twinkle · 01-07-2005, 01:39 PM

Maybe it's a particular type of friendship. So? Does everyone absolutely have to "get" something out of a friendship?

If her husbant is so bossy and "manly", why isn't he writing her the checks? Why is Jenn coming to Heather and not to her husband? Because well, sometimes men are fun, but not that fun!

I think it's absolutely great that you've managed to keep a friendship this close. As long as it does not affect your lives in a negative way, great for you.

It is only natural that he's jealous. I'm jealous too. Don't do like teachers do when they make kids see shrinks because they're "different". I don't know, that's how I see it.

Stone · 01-07-2005, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samson

Quote:

Her husband calls me her wife! I think that's insulting

Unless you get paid for it, or she is handicapped, I'm wondering what you get in return?

Perhaps her husband is wondering the same thing?

Humm Perhaps, She's not handicapped I do her finances because she's lousy at it and he is HORRID with the bills, there electricity was constantly being turned off, they've got home forclosure notices ect. So I offered to take over "Her personal account" for awhile and it's actually working out quite well, we've even improved her credit a huge bit. She also works VERY Late nights so I cook for my faimly and bring her some food to so she can get some sleep and her daughter won't have to eat spegettio's every day. Our kids are best friends to, they we're born 5 days apart.

She does alot for me as well, she helps bring my son to school, she learned sign language for my son, takes him to baseball sometimes, helps Greg go on sales calls when asked. I could call her at 4 in the morning and she'd be there.... She's like my sister, NOT my wife....ewww

Fayebelle · 01-07-2005, 01:55 PM

out of curiousity- is this the same pal that not too long ago you had the internal debate about loaning her $ AGAIN?

Meanon · 01-07-2005, 02:34 PM

My closest friend does a lot for me too. She's helped me plan my finances, clean my house, looked after my kids, painted my toenails etc. Her husband has occasionally been jealous in the past but it he settles when his wife gives him extra attention!

I used to be the one that looked after her, not so much in a practical sense, more that she relied heavily on me for support and to help her get her life sorted out when we were younger. Now the support is more even, but as my marriage has faltered she seems to have found other ways of helping me out. This is what friendship is all about, in my view, sharing the good times, helping each other through the bad. All my close friends give a lot. I never thought it was that unusal but lately many people (acquaintances/family) have commented on it so maybe it is.

Stoneheather, what he said is kind of insulting but I'd avoid confrontation with her husband, if I were you. Her marriage is central to her happiness, as are her friendships. She needs to find a way for both to continue.

Stone · 01-07-2005, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

out of curiousity- is this the same pal that not too long ago you had the internal debate about loaning her $ AGAIN?

Nope diffrent pal

Star · 01-07-2005, 02:41 PM

My best friend and I have been friends since the 3rd grade. Hubby doesn't like her too much either, probably because we are so close (like the sister I never had). He's not rude to her ever though. He just has his little comments when I tell him she's coming for a visit (she lives 8 hours from me) but then he welcomes her with open arms.

I think maybe hubby feels like he's being replaced whenever I spend time with my best friend and he's jealous. He likes to have me all to himself. Men just don't understand the bond that woman have in a friendship so close. It is like a sister thing and I couldn't imagine living life without her in it. Friends do things for eachother... and we don't keep count.

Fayebelle · 01-07-2005, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoneheather

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

out of curiousity- is this the same pal that not too long ago you had the internal debate about loaning her $ AGAIN?

Nope diffrent pal

Why are all your pals financially inept? I didn't mean that to sound rude- it just seems to be a trend among your pals....

Stone · 01-07-2005, 03:07 PM

I am a financial consultant so they all trust my advice and It makes me feel good to help them. I do loan out alot of money because I have been very fortunate in the last 2 years and I know if my pals had some extra dough and I needed it they would give me some help.

I grew up with all my pals we all struggled very hard, we grew up very very poor and I became one of the most sucessful one's in the bunch... So I guess I just try to help them acheive the same

Merika · 01-07-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fayebelle

Why are all your pals financially inept? I didn't mean that to sound rude- it just seems to be a trend among your pals....

Stop and smell the coffee Faybelle! This is FLORIDA. Hell, we can't vote....how in the world would we handle finances. SH's friends are the norm....SH just happened to get get some good career training!!!
LMAO!

I can make vote jokes ONLY because I live in FLorida too!