Very Upsetting News

Rock · 05-08-2005, 10:23 PM

OK I hope everything I say is OK (appropriate) here but I apologise in advance if anyone takes offense.

A couple of months ago I met a girl named Angela who invited me over for dinner at her apartment. I do not remember what we had but there was strawberries dipped in chocolate for dessert and a lot of wine and candle light. One thing lead to another and we...........we had sex.

Unprotected sex.

I did not see Angela much or really at all after that night until today. She told me that she is pregnate, but does not want the baby and wants me to help pay for an abortion so I wrote her a check for $300. I know it might not be my fault but that is not the point. The point is that it might be my fault so I should pay for my stupidity.

Anyway this has not been a good weekend. Hope you do not mind me posting this stuff here but I just had to get it out.

darkangelism · 05-08-2005, 11:16 PM

thats a topic that firs this site well. Im sorry to hear that happened. Isnt it getting late for an abortion? The blame isnt only on you, you share the blame, if its yours. There are others on here who know about young pregnancies better then I, so they can provide better advice.

Duke · 05-08-2005, 11:32 PM

To clarify a bit, this site is here to help you with all aspects of your life, this is a part of it so there's no reason for you to apologize.

I have mixed feelings to this only because I also wanted to abort the pregnancy 10 years ago and looking into the eyes of my beautiful daughter makes me wonder why I ever did. I knew the relatioship was doomed, I may have even been aware that I'd only be a part time dad, but I still wanted her to abort. I have to say, this is the one decision that my ex didn't agree with that I'm actually happy about.

I do understand your position on it though Rock. This is an issue that really only had two sides, either pro or anti. I do believe in the mothers right to decide (it's her body) but can't help but wonder what you guys may be missing out on.

Anyway, best of luck. I really hope that she doesn't just take the money, disappear for a while, and then come back in a year or so to introduce you to your child.

You also may want to tell your current girlfriend about it as well.

RandomSkater · 05-09-2005, 12:31 AM

I personally don't think I could handle telling someone that could be carrying my baby to have an abortion, no matter what the situation.
But that's just my opinion...

darkangelism · 05-09-2005, 12:55 AM

rock didnt do that, she said she was getting one.

Duke · 05-09-2005, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

rock didnt do that, she said she was getting one.

It takes two people to agree on a decision of this magnitude da, plus he asked for comments so I gave my honest opinion.

Rock · 05-09-2005, 07:34 AM

I don't think it really is up to me.

She's made the decision to have it, and has asked for help paying for it. I guess that if I agreed to help pay, then I'm an accessory, but if I did not agree then I think she'd do it anyway.

This is not like we have dated for a year or two and were thinking about getting married anyway. We hardly know each other.

I think I should call her to find out how things went this week?

Star · 05-09-2005, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rock

I don't think it really is up to me.

She's made the decision to have it, and has asked for help paying for it. I guess that if I agreed to help pay, then I'm an accessory, but if I did not agree then I think she'd do it anyway.

This is not like we have dated for a year or two and were thinking about getting married anyway. We hardly know each other.

I think I should call her to find out how things went this week?

oh but rock, you do have a say in this. you have as much say in this as angela does. You can contest the abortion.

My daughter got pregnant when she was 15. i now have a beautiful grand-daughter. she also wanted an abortion and i forbade it. then we were planning on giving the baby up for adoption and I ended up not having the heart to do that either. so, now, i'm raising my little grand-daughter and I don't regret the decision at all.

The ultimate decision would be yours and angela's. If you decided against the abortion, then you might have to raise the baby or give the baby up for adoption. there are plenty of families out there who would welcome the baby with open arms and give this baby a very good home.

Bottom line is that you have several choices and none of these should be taken lightly. You both need to sit down and talk about these choices and take the time to make the right decision that neither one of you will live to regret. This is a life at the end of your choice. It's shouldn't be taken lightly. JMHO.

darkangelism · 05-09-2005, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

rock didnt do that, she said she was getting one.

It takes two people to agree on a decision of this magnitude da, plus he asked for comments so I gave my honest opinion.

I was talking to random.

As everyone is saying you have a choice, Rock, do you want the baby?

Rock · 05-09-2005, 10:06 AM

No, particularly when Angela does not want to have a child. I support whatever decision she makes.

twinkle · 05-09-2005, 10:34 AM

I'm 24. If I got pregnant right now, I'd prob. have an abvortion too, irrespective of my being in a relationship or not. I'm not ready for it - emotionally and physically.

I don't know if it's about meeting the right person to have the baby with or just the idea of having a kid...

IT's very important to know what you can and cannot sacrifice before bringing a kid into this world. My 2 cents, anyway!

Stone · 05-09-2005, 10:34 AM

That was nice of you to pay for it, It is her decision and her decision alone, I've been thru that decision making process and it was the hardest thing I had to do.

Anyway it was nice that you acted so mature and helpful about it, in this case some men wouldn't be so helpful, don't assume that there is no pregnancy, she may change her mind at the last minute.

darkangelism · 05-09-2005, 10:47 AM

Yeah, id say that you might want to stay somewhat in contact with her until she has it(abortion or baby) so that you know what is going on.

Rock · 05-09-2005, 11:06 AM

I'll call her next weekend to see how it went.

RandomSkater · 05-09-2005, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

rock didnt do that, she said she was getting one.

He said he even gave her money for it, I find that enough to consider it wanting her to have the abortion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by http://biblia.com/abortion/

An electrocardiogram (EKG) can be taken from the baby's heart 18 days after conception.

An electroencephalogram (EEG) from the baby's brain, can be taken 6 weeks after conception.

At three months of pregnancy the baby has fingerprints, exactly the same ones he will have at age 30 or 50.