Sisterly issue - quite long

I hope so too. I'll call her this week end. Last time we talked, she didn't seem alright and I imagine her ex ain't peachy either. Maybe some more time is what they need, though I doubt it.


I cannot help but think that this tells something about my little sister. This indifference pushed to the extreme, this... unkindness... IS simply being nice to a guy (even if it's because of feeling pitty) such an effort? It costs no money. Just keeping it clean.

I'm disappointed. She may be 21, she's much more immature than I would have suspected.

[Merika]

Originally Posted by calizza

I keep seeing casually date and flavor of the day, but this was a 2 year relationship...

Good point Calizza! Then again, even at 2 years or 12 years....if it's not working...it's not working.

[calizza]

Very true with that too Merika!

[Merika]

If I hadn't stayed in a totally retarded marriage for WAY TOO LONG.....I probably would have a more positive outlook and belief in thinking you can fix marriage problems. Some you can.....some you can't. And you can lose a whole lot of your life's years on one you can't fix. It leaves you bitter and pissed off.

[Duke]

Looks like somebody needs a hug.

[twinkle]

Yeah, well, back home, there's a whole new series of a drama!!! Things got worse, Julien won't accept being told off, and after calling my mom looking for confort, he decided he won't take the break-up.


Long talks with my sis, he started to look into her wallet and ....saw the birth controll pills. Said that life didn't worth living without her (I think it was when he finally understood that he stood no chance) took a knife and pointed it to his heart...


It's all a big act, if you ask me, but my sister was terrified. She was alone with him in the appartment. Made him swear he wouldn't hurt himself, put that in writing too. Aftervthat he wouldn't leave the appartement. My sister had to call my mom to talk to him in order to leave.


Mom was stunned too.

The bright side of this is that I KNOW my sis will think hundred times before bringing someone into the family. My parents took the news very bad and scolded my sister quite severely.


Anyway, I hope things won't degenerate. Julien is a bit out of touch with reality, but he loves my sister and won't harm her.

She's afraid he might follow him and discover her secret... passion for the other young man. That would be a potentially disastruous event!


Anyway, I don't see what my sis can do to prevent that. And... my mom got over feeling sorry for her ex! She's just angry at my sis, nom, LOOL!!


And that spares me of the whole "don't bring every bf you have in the family" preach, my friends. Ain't God a funny man...

[Duke]

That's some scary stuff and if I were you or your family, I'd pull her out of the situation immediately and contact someone close to him.

Here's a flipside to the coin:

I had a second cousin who's boyfriend lost it for one reason or another (I'm not up on the specifics). He waited for her to get home after work, bludgeoned her, drowned her in the bathtup and took her body to a local bridge and dumped it over the side.

What I'm saying here is take no chances and get her the hell out of the situation immediately. You have no idea what your gambling in not doing so. If he were to find out about the other man, he may adopt an "if I can't have her noone can" way of thinking and isn't that the basis behind many murder-suicides?

I joke around here a lot but my cousin story is real and I'd hate to have something similar happen to your sister. Please do something now.

[Merika]

That's probably why she fell out of love with him.....cause he's a SQUIRREL! Anyone who threatens to harm themselves to keep someone to stay with them is too pathetic for sincere sympathy.

I fell for a situation similar to that and if I had to do it all over again....I would've told the stupid a$$ to go ahead and JUMP off the friggin balcony! I would've done the world a favor.

She needs to get a court order to keep him away.....and then she'll STILL have to look over her shoulder for a long time in worry.

I just HATE people who manipulate other people with their dysfunctional emotions. I think of ALL things....this is my pet peeve.

[twinkle]

My parents came down to my sister's place over the week-end and met Julian as decided.

It seems that he and my father had talk and he somehow came to terms with the idea of the separation. At least my sis was feeling much more relaxed.

I find it hard to believe. The day before him meeting my parents he told her he'd break the ankles of her future bf.


It suddenly occured to me that if my sister talk to his brother, no one talked to his parents. He's very close to them. I tried to say that to Anna, but she's convinced that everything's ok now.

I'm thinking about suggesting that to my parents. Also in my country psychiatrists are very badly regarded, talking to someone specialized could hep him... I'm kidding myself, this will never happen.


Duke, you spooked me to death with your story...


Hopefully there won't be any news about this soon.

Thank you for your input.

[Duke]

I'm sorry to have spooked you. I was just giving a for-instance as to the worst case scenario. There's been two murders in my family in the past 5 or 6 years. One was the story mentioned above and the other was recently when a second cousin murdered his uncle.

I guess when that sort of crime hits this close to home it puts a bit deeper fear in a person.

[twinkle]

I am really sorry for your family. You're right, once this happenes to someone near you, you suddendly have a different perspective on things.

I'll talk to my parents and convince them to have a decent conversation with his about this... To tell you the truth, I'd feel much more at ease with a restraining order, but Anna says it's the fact that I'm away from her that scares me more.


His parents used to write me nice email to encourage me here... So I have their email address. But I feel occuard writing them, when my sister didn't have the guts to confronte them with their son's behaviour...

[Duke]

I can tell you that the thought of my daugther dating scares the crap out of me because of it. The fact that my daughter will one day be old enough to do things on her own without the parent anchors around isn't something I'm looking forward to neither.

[Merika]

I feel the same way Duke.....I guess it's when a parent just has to learn to let go and hope most of what you've taught them sticks.

[Duke]

I won't have to worry about it because I'm sure the ensuing hear-attack will kill me.