Parents are driving me nuts

Stone · 01-04-2005, 06:51 PM

My parents 25 th wedding anniversery is comming up and I decied to send them on a cruise instead of throwing a party. It is already booked for March and my mother just called and said cancell the cruise becaue they are getting divorced!! ( no there not, she always says that) She has ALWAYS said that and not to blame anything on her but I always threaten my men that I am leaving maby this is a learned behavior.. but I am sick of it.

Do you think I should cancell the cruise? Or maby a vacation alone is what they might need.

Personally I'll be VERY VERY upset if she leaves my father ( he's no prize) but he is disabled he can't work and he lost his eyesight... If she leaves him after 25 years it's just wrong... But at the same time she is VERY unhappy... I would rather just stay out of it, but she is always whining about how unhappy she is to me and I don't want to hear it.... Is that unsensitive?

Star · 01-04-2005, 07:19 PM

I wouldn't cancel the cruise just yet. It could just be a tiff they're having that will be over in no time.

If my parents were having problems in their marriage, I wouldn't know about it. Even I did know, I wouldn't get involved. I'd stay neutral and I'd let them both know that. Perhaps she's seaking your approval, I don't know but I wouldn't get into it at all. Then if things do work out and if you do get involved, then they'll be angry at you for all your opinions on the matter. Better to stay neutral.

Duke · 01-04-2005, 07:43 PM

I'm not sure really what you should do. I understand your dads position but maybe your mom wants to live a little as well. It's really hard to say, if your mom was a constant belly acher then I'd prolly tell her to stfu and not bother you with the details.

The thing that puzzles me is why would anyone turn down a cruise especially since it's a gift? That just seems wrong to me.

Merika · 01-04-2005, 07:51 PM

Maybe this is a stupid question.....but if he's lost his eyesight....would he even enjoy a cruise?

I would think it's very hard taking care of someone who is quite disabled. Maybe she just gets frustrated from time to time....which would be understandable. He probably gets tired of needing her help also. I could see where it's rough to kind of be stuck together all the time due to health problems.

Would it be possible you help him out for a few days and let her take a cruise with a friend....just so they could get a break from each other?

Stone · 01-04-2005, 07:57 PM

She doesn't do anything for him or with him, she works he has adapted VERY well ( he can see 7 inches from his face) he cleans, cooks, watches my son, and fixes things still. she works and he collects SSD and VA benifits so he relies on her very little. I think she should take him out more, he never goes anywhere and I can't fit his guide dog in my car.

He adapts very quickly He climed Mt. McKeneily last year ( when he could see 18 inches in fron of his face) He hasn't really left the house since then unless it's to go to the doctors.. I feel obligated to do SOMETHING for there anniversery, they don't have much money so I thought a cruise would be nice and affordable. I would feel bad doing nothing for them.

Duke · 01-04-2005, 08:14 PM

That's actually very sad, I feel sorry for your father.

Stone · 01-04-2005, 08:16 PM

Me to, writing this helped me actually I think I will ask him if he wants to go camping this weekend.. HE LOVES the outdoors

Duke · 01-04-2005, 08:19 PM

Great idea.

It's funny how putting your thoughts in front of you sometimes helps with the decision process. I know it's helped me a few times, the decision was usually just to ignore Merika but it did help.

Merika · 01-04-2005, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

the decision was usually just to ignore Merika but it did help.

I am a walking encyclopedia of useless wisdom. HAHA!

SH....the camping trip for your Dad sounds like great fun.

Duke · 01-05-2005, 06:54 PM

A walking something that's for sure.

Merika · 01-06-2005, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

A walking something that's for sure.

Well...it could've been a 'staggering' something.....

Duke · 01-06-2005, 08:38 PM

Thats later.

Merika · 01-07-2005, 09:09 AM

SH..... what did you end up deciding to do or do you still have some time to think about it?

Stone · 01-07-2005, 10:34 AM

They are still not talking to eachother, I told my mother that it was VERY rude that she is not accepting my gift and it hurt my feelings and that they ARE GOING!!

I also told her what a theripist told me a long time ago. My mother has always threatned to leave my father and I learned this behavior from her, I constantly threaten to leave greg and I also did in many other relationships knowing that I am not ready to do so.... just like my mom did, And I told her... She said "Don't blame it on me" all I said is "I'm not I just learned it from you, I am trying to change it so should you"

The conversation ended there :?

Merika · 01-07-2005, 11:12 AM

I did just the opposite. My Mom put up with so much crap.....I swore I never would. To this day.....if a man tells me what to do....I get pissed off.