My roomate

Rock · 04-29-2005, 09:34 AM

I started to talk about my roomate in another place and it got me to thinking. We share a two bedroom one bath duplex. I do not think I am a slob. Even if I was a slob I don't spend enough time at home to mess anything up. I eat out almost all the time and really only sleep there. I even shower at the gym.

Last night I came home and Andrea, my roomate, was on the floor of the bathroom with a toothbrush scrubbing the floor. It was almost 11 PM. I do not think this is normal do you?

Duke · 04-29-2005, 09:40 AM

Maybe she was looking for her teeth

I think it's a bit excessive personally. Do you think she's like that normally or do you think that she's doing it because of you? The only reason I ask is that you added yourself to the picture by justifying the fact that you don't believe youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢Â‚Â¬Ã¢Â„Â¢re a slob (not saying you are).

The other thing is that we all have our quirks and do some things that others may find a bit odd. Maybe that's her thing, either that or she's obsessive compulsive.

Rock · 04-29-2005, 09:52 AM

Yes I forgot to mention that she blames me for being a slob!

She's a recovering Anorexic/Bulemic. One of the symtoms is compulsive obsessiveness but I thought the key here was "recovering." I'm wondering if she's getting worse not better when i find her at 11 PM with a tooth brush scrubbing the floor muttering that I am a slob when I haven't used the bathroom in maybe a week!

Duke · 04-29-2005, 10:08 AM

I'm no expert but I'd say that doesn't sound like "recovering" to me.

darkangelism · 04-29-2005, 10:24 AM

my roomate thinks im a slob( and i am to a point) but he is too... personally i dont really care. I mean if it bothers you talk to her, but i dont think its an issue that you need to concern yourself over.

Duke · 04-29-2005, 10:30 AM

Men can't live together and be neet, it goes against all the laws of nature. If your roomate doesn't want something on the floor, then it's up to them to catch it before it hits the ground.

Young guys are the worsed, as you get older, you usually tidy up some.

Rock · 04-29-2005, 10:38 AM

I just have to be really careful. First I will just admit that I do not couch my words very well. Second Andrea is very sensative. I mean sometimes I wonder if it is possible to carry on any adult conversation with her without her finding something to take personally and become upset. Last night I pretty much ignored her.

I was really tired and did not feel like "exploring" whatever issue or problem de jour may have caused her to want to clean the bathroom. Sometimes it is so exausting to work full time at night, take 15 hours of engineering courses and then deal with Andrea's problems I just get pissed off. She only takes 9 hours of courses and works 20 hours a week and spends most of her time in front of the mirror or with her support groups or doing who-knows-what?

Duke · 04-29-2005, 12:05 PM

Why do you guys still live together? It seems to me that you'd likely be a bit better off with a different roommate.

Rock · 04-29-2005, 12:14 PM

She has here faults and I have mine and so will anyone else. When we became roomates both of us were a little desperate to find someone quickly and someone we knew.

I am still a little attracted to her. I have the urge to protect her on the one hand and on the other her weaknesses are annoying.

Duke · 04-29-2005, 12:27 PM

I was actually going to ask if you were attracted to her but bit my tongue. Celebrate the fact, believe me, it doesn't happen often :?

Rock · 04-29-2005, 12:59 PM

She's really beautiful. No, I should rephrase that she could be really beautiful. Her anorexia nervosa has left her with some physically unattractive traits. At one time when we first met I was infatuated.

I also learned that she had a number of weird psychological hang-ups associated with being sexually abused. She says a South African soldier raped her.

Meanon · 04-29-2005, 04:08 PM

Be careful Rock. You find her attractive and feel protectively towards her, she's very vulnerable, she expects to talk through her problems de jour with you, she thinks you're a slob, you find her irritating, she gets upset at the way you "couch" things. This is not a straightforward room mate relationship. I can see her either becoming very hostile towards you or trying to become closer.

twinkle · 05-01-2005, 07:48 AM

Be staightforward to her. Make lists with house chores and put dates on the chores. Make who does what WHEN very clear.

Try not to leave things in other place but your own room and keep the kitchen clean.

Out of my experience, it's best to know what the other person expects of you, because if you don't, it will explode. I have been there.

Put everything out in the open - I mean EVERYTHING. From bills to taking the trash out. And don't hit on her, because you'd find yourself living with your gf before even dating her. NOT SANE. Confide in her from time to time and do let her know if you know you're away for more than a day or two. That's what friends do.

Just don't get too close. Good luck with everything,

Twinkle

Stone · 05-01-2005, 08:16 AM

When I had roomates we always had chore lists and it worked out pretty well. If you decide to try it make sure you guys draft the list togeather.

Star · 05-01-2005, 08:49 AM

I've had a few roomates way back when I was living the single life. We would either go 50/50 on everything including food but there was one roomate I had that we had to buy our own because she'd have all her friends over all the time eating it all. I ended up kicking her out of my apartment in the end.

anyhow, we'd have our seperate household chores to do. We'd pick up after ourselves and share the rest. It worked out well doing it that way and the apartment stayed clean and tidy.

I only had females for roomates.