Mum died now my sister is ill

[ttreaders]

Hello everyone. My mum died at the age of 52 in November from Cancer. I'm not go into detail about my whole family as everyone else is handling it ok but my younger sister who is 14 is having a very rough time at the moment. She was very close with my mum - she was her best friend. My sister also suffers from aspergus syndrome and tourettes so it's all the more difficult for her.

She seems to be handling it ok but she confides in my girlfriend a lot (we only live over the road) and has told her that she took some tablets but it didn't work - I think she took lots of hayfever tablets hence why it didn't work. She also had a red ring around her neck where she had attempted to hang herself. She asked my girlfriend not to tell anyone so I am unsure as to what to do in this situation.

Part of me feels that maybe she wants my girlfriend to tell people, maybe it's a call for help but i'm not sure about that.

Any advice please?

[Luba]

Welcome to the forum, ttreaders! I am SO sorry to hear what you are all going through! My deepest sympathy in the loss of your Mother and the fear of what is happening to your sister.

I am at a loss of what to say, except maybe get your girlfriend to tell your sister that people have got to know to get help for her! That way your girlfriend isn't giving away confidences and hurting the trust that your sister put in her. She needs help and fast!

[IvyRose]

Hi ttreaders,

Suicide attempts are definately not something to keep secret. At the very least, I would tell the legal Guardian that is in charge of taking care of your sister. Whether her attempts are just a cry for help or a serious attempt, they should all be taken seriously and she needs to seek professional help right away.

As far as being afraid of breaking her trust; to me, it would pale in comparison of her taking her own life. Hopefully, she will understand later that you had to do the right thing by getting her help.

It will be a hard thing to do, but doing the right thing is rarely easy. My sympathy goes out to you and your family.

[TKDLady]

Welcome ttreaders. I can't say more than IvyRose did. Your sister needs help and you shouldn't sit back and wait. Contact a suicide prevention group maybe and see how to proceed but do it immediately before her next attempt succeeds.

[NoTargeT]

Originally Posted by ttreaders

Part of me feels that maybe she wants my girlfriend to tell people, maybe it's a call for help...

Sounds like you're on the right track there...

And I think the last thing you'd want for yourself to happen is her killing herself leaving you wondering if you should have told someone sooner for the rest of your life. (or even worse, blaming yourself for it).
Getting some (professional) help in sounds like a good plan to me, perhaps she might get angry with you or your girlfriend for telling, but perhaps you'll end up saving a life.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by ttreaders

Part of me feels that maybe she wants my girlfriend to tell people, maybe it's a call for help but i'm not sure about that.

Welcome to Lifesupporters.com ttreaders!

I agree with NoTargeT that this is prolly what your sister wants to happen but I personally don't think it's a good idea for your girlfriend to just seek help as a representative for your sister. I honestly believe that your gf is the person your sister feels the closest to (at least for this issue) and is using her as a confidant.

This is a good inroad however for your gf to ask some questions of your sister such as whether or not she plans to seek help for what she's dealing with. If your gf is willing to grow this relationship and slowly lead your sister toward seeking help then what can it hurt to continue on and see where this leads?

The good thing is that your sister is talking which is a h3ll of a lot better than internalizing and bottling things up.