If you've been insulted by a close friend...

Luba · 06-11-2006, 09:35 AM

how do you handle it? Do you tell them immediately that they hurt your feelings or do you internalize it? Does it make you more guarded? Does it take away something from the relationship?....Or do you just laugh it off and not let it bother you?

I was totally taken aback by what a close friend said to me on Friday, and though I know sometimes she doesn't think before she speaks, I tried not to take it personally...but at the moment it has made me more guarded...and I really don't want to be around her right now; but she's working with me. I did tell her it hurt when she said what she did, and I thought I had dealt with it, but if I'm talking about it...I still must be ticked...

twinkle · 06-11-2006, 04:01 PM

Depends on what she told you and how close you are.

This last year taught me not to take crap from no one, not even friends. But then if she was right... it's complicated.

Most important thing is not to tell he that you've forgiven her if ou didn't. Does too much damage and finally it's not worth it.

Luba · 06-11-2006, 08:40 PM

Thanks for responding, Twinkle, you're advice is helping. Usually if a person is right in telling me something, I can handle it, especially if I realize it's the truth, which it wasn't. I guess I was shocked because I thought she knew me better...

I realize I'm just about always guarded around her because she has this way of 'hitting from left field' because she's not a happy person...and it's when I let my guard down that she's able to 'get to me'...

Right now I'm thinking about the good qualities she has...and I know she has a good heart and would be there if I needed her for help....that should be enough for me to get past this...

Thanks again, Twinkle!

darkangelism · 06-11-2006, 10:10 PM

it depends on what it is, if its not a big deal, then ill let it slide, ,i know i can be overly sensitve to things people say, but if it is a big deal ill say something.

twinkle · 06-12-2006, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luba

I realize I'm just about always guarded around her because she has this way of 'hitting from left field' because she's not a happy person...and it's when I let my guard down that she's able to 'get to me'...

We all have friends like that, who go through difficult periods of time and give everyone a negative feedback on everything. So what you can do is tell it to her. I know it's difficult, because you may be looking for comfort yourself, and this person is the least indicated one to do so.

So just see her when you are not vulnerable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luba

Right now I'm thinking about the good qualities she has...and I know she has a good heart and would be there if I needed her for help....that should be enough for me to get past this...

I'm ery much like you Luba, forgivving and thinking about the inner good that's in every person. My response is that even Hitler had good inside of him, however that didn't stop him from doing evil.

Some people give off negative vibes. Them, their good qualities should not be this important. What it should count more is if this person is good for you. If she helps and care.

Take care,

D.

Star · 06-12-2006, 06:26 AM

constructive critisism is okay if said tastefully of course but if it's an insult, then i do get defensive about it. especially if it's not true.

I have a friend like that who thinks she knows me but she doesn't. it annoys me to the max so i don't associate with her too much. seems that everytime i give her a call to see how she's doing, she's insulting me in some way or another. with friends like that, who needs enemies is my first thought about that and i do let her know that whatever it is she said to me is an insult.

i guess you have to do what feels right for you. some people just like to hurt others.

Merika · 06-12-2006, 07:40 AM

I figure if someone is a friend then I should know them well enough to drink a couple of beers with them and at just the right moment tell them to STFU next time.

If they aren't that close of a friend, chances are I don't care what they think anyway.

Weiser · 06-12-2006, 09:55 AM

Uh, insult them back. Tell them to shut it. He-B*tch-Man-Slap them.

It all depends on my mood

BattleaxE · 06-12-2006, 06:52 PM

Luba, since you told your friend how what she said hurt hopefully next time she will think before she blurts something hurtful out.

Luba · 06-12-2006, 07:23 PM

She was very outgoing and friendly to me today; so since I did tell her it hurt as soon as she said what she did; I decided to just drop it...

BattleaxE · 06-12-2006, 07:42 PM

good move luba........

Merika · 06-15-2006, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weiser

Uh, insult them back. Tell them to shut it. He-B*tch-Man-Slap them.

It all depends on my mood

And depending on MY mood..this may actually work.

Weiser · 06-16-2006, 01:13 AM

You know, if you lived closer, I think we would have some good times.

Merika · 06-18-2006, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weiser

You know, if you lived closer, I think we would have some good times.

You BETCHA Pirate Boy! 8)

Weiser · 06-18-2006, 02:29 PM

Yarr I come for the booty! YARRGH!