I need some great advice...

[Luba]

Okay, I work with a young woman, 25 years old, who is like a daughter to me, she confides in me a lot! Problem is, she also confides in another woman who she thinks is her best friend. I have now heard from two separate sources that this 'friend' is stabbing her in the back. Since a betrayal such as this happened to me, I am just sick about it. I don't know if I should tell her that I had heard about her so-called best friend talking behind her back, or should I keep my mouth shut...I just have such a difficult time seeing this wonderful young woman played for a fool...

[Vautrin]

Depends on the importance of the issue for her, and how hard you can make the "accusation." It seems that it is pretty important to her, but you cannot know exactly the strength of the relationship between her, and Ms. Backstabber.

Without knowing more, I would make an indirect remark, so that she needs to wonder about what is going on exactly. Of course this is assuming, that she does indeed have a clue or feeling, that something is not right.

[darkangelism]

no, you cant say anything without making it look bad, unfortunatly, if the other person is a bad friend she has to figure that out for herself.

[TKDLady]

That is a sticky situation. If you say anything, she might think you are jealous or something and if you don't she may one day have her heart broken by someone she thought was a friend. I really don't know how you should handle it. A lot depends on the relationship between you and her. If she really respects you and your opinion than maybe you can think of a subtle way to break the news to her. I am sorry I am not much help here. Let us know how this pans out. If I think of something, I will certainly let you know. I guess I am kind of with Vautrin on this one. Good luck.

[twinkle]

You should not go to her and tell her "look, Miranda is talking about things behind your back".

You should wait and gently express your lack of confidence in the other person. That might ring a bell if she treasures you, more than if you go straight ahead and express your oppinion about that person.

Like DA said, she needs to learn things on her own.

[Merika]

I had an aunt who would tell me all these 'Southern sayings' as I was growing up. The two that would apply here is:

1. What you don't say...you never have to regret.
2. What you know that someone else doesn't know....makes you smarter.

As long as you aren't going to be in a position that it will look like YOU are the one who blabbed....then I wouldn't say anything at all. You learned in life to be careful who you confide in because you went thru a situation that taught you the lesson. It's a lesson each person has to learn for themselves.

[Adonaicole]

I'm always upfront and honest, so I would go straight to the person and tell them what I feel is going on. I've done this in the past and it's almost always blown up in my face but whatever I tried to tell them the truth. Sometimes, even years later they found out I was telling the truth and thanked me, even though they didn't believe me at the time.

[BattleaxE]

I'm not sure how I would handle this..It seems everyone is hearing things from everyone else. If thats the case your friend is likely to hear it at some point. Hurt feelings can make a person lash out at those closest to them. Even though I wouldnt want my friends feelings hurt I wouldnt want to be part of that rumor mill either. It's one of those situations that your damned if you do and damned if you don't. This is a tough one Luba. Good Luck with whatever you do

[Luba]

Thanks for listening and the great advice....I figured out how to handle it...I asked a friend of the woman I spoke of, the three of us hang out together sometimes, and she tells me that someone has already told my "daughter" that she is being backstabbed by her so-called friend...so she knows...so what she does with the information is up to her...