I just had the biggest fight with my son!

TKDLady · 03-06-2007, 10:29 PM

I am so angry. My son has been overshooting his text messaging on his phone and costing me more money than the bill should be. Last week I turned his text messaging off and he just now approached me on it. It started out pleasent enough but after the hundredth time of hearing how I should just pay the extra $20 a month for unlimited texting I blew up. For both of my kids I pay for a credit card for each of them. I pay all their car insurance and gasoline. For my daughter I pay her rent, her groceries, and minor extras like clothes from time to time. She is in college and can't work and has been very good about her spending but my son thinks his request is better than him controlling his texting. His excuse is that all his friends do it and it is their main way to communicate. He is a very good kid in most other respects. He doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs. Is home every night but is lazy as all get out. I have asked him to help around the house but have yet to see it done. He does take the dishes out of the dishwasher or sink when they are clean and puts them away but it usually is a few days after they are clean before he does it. I am at my witts end as to how to handle this. The texting and cell phone has been an issue for months. I got it for him so we could keep in touch when he is out. He does high school band and has other functions that sometimes keep him out late and I just wanted a way to contact him to be sure he was okay or to be sure he could get hold of us in an emergency or something. We live in Florida and just about everyone I know has had their home owners insurance skyrocket due to the hurricanes. We have a meeting with our insurance guy on Friday to discuss that topic. I am so afraid of how much my house payment will go up. I am having a hard time making ends meet since we started having to pay for all my daughter's expenses. We make good money but it isn't limitless and he just doesn't seem to understand. Why are teenage boys so difficult. My daughter was a breeze compared to this. The subject of working is another matter. He doesn't have a problem working but he is picky about what he will do. All we have asked is that when they work they put half their paycheck into their savings accounts so we have something to help us with college. My daughter is using her savings now to pay for her utilities and eating out, all the extras. She is on a budget because what she has has to last for another year. Right now I wish I didn't have kids and was free to do my own things, spend my money the way I want to instead of using every last dime to pay for necessities.

Sorry for the long post and rant. I am just fuming. :evil:

darkangelism · 03-07-2007, 12:00 AM

make him pay the $20...but i think you made it too easy on him. i got $20 a week from my parents and that was the most i got, and that was when i was 17 before that it was less. in college all i got was 300 a month for food. Dont ask him to help out, make him help out. As for your daughter i can understand that a little more cause its college..but the phone thing thats just ridiculous...my parents wont let my brother or sister have a cell phone until they are 18.

Star · 03-07-2007, 08:04 AM

my daughter's got a cell phone but it's pay as you go and she pays for it. she has chores to do every day so with that, i give her 20.00 for a phone card every two weeks (my pay dates) and that's what she uses it for. I think pay as you go phone for teens are the best things. I wouldn't allow her to get a cell phone unless it was a pay as you go for that reason. didn't want surprise bills.

I'm a firm believer in teaching kids financial responsibility. if they want something, they need to work for it. that is how life works afterall. chores around the house, babysitting, all those are jobs that they can earn money doing and in return, they go get what they want.

Adonaicole · 03-07-2007, 12:01 PM

There shouldn't be any fight at all. Give him a pre-paid phone and tell him he can buy all the minutes he needs.

Weiser · 03-08-2007, 11:31 PM

Holy crap. Once I got a job as a paper boy when I was 11 my parents stopped paying for stuff. Stop paying for his stuff.

Duke · 03-09-2007, 08:24 AM

Ah boys will be boys. The problem we have is that we love gadgets and it's not our fault, it's genetic.

I'm no millionaire but I still must have:

- a decent boom system in my car.
- a home stereo with no less than 5.1 Digital sound and a bare minimum of 7 speakers and a subwoofer.
- an expensive computer with all the gaming goodies.

I sure as hell can't afford all this stuff but I'd rather eat Mr. Noodles for a few weeks than not have it.

There are examples all around us of "boys with their toys" from the grandpa with the Corvette, to the kid with the IPOD and XBOX 360.

The one thing you do have going for you is boys will push the boundaries but if the boundaries are rigidly set, we tend to abide by them. As boys, we respect structure and discipline whether we actually like it or not.

Cave into your sons needs and not only will he get what he wants but he'll ultimately respect you less for giving it to him.

TKDLady · 03-10-2007, 12:35 AM

I haven't caved on this one. I know I give him a lot but that is how I am. He wants to get a job but school is busy for him and I want him to enjoy his last year of high school. We will manage. He is a good kid, just needs a reality check now and then.