I have to save my friend. - Page 2

Paul · 03-03-2006, 03:35 PM

Oh my goodness, keep it in your pants!! If you want imagine that things just got a lot more complicated then you'd be right, because S just told me this morning that he will be having a son in 7 months time.

However that being said, he told me it doesn't change anything and he's shipping her out this upcoming week. He realized that a lot of his problems from the past 2 years can be linked directly or indirectly to her, her friends and family and he's glad to start over from scratch. But now he's got 2 kids with her.

As far as legalities, I have no idea and I'm to busy working right now to look into such things. He told me that he's changing the locks on his apartment and may have to move but we'll look into that later, after she's gone. I've been over there a couple times and she's just getting worse, doesn't care if I'm there or not, I can't beleive the stuff she says.

He cut her off from using his bank account because she took money he needed and put it on her credit card so she could buy stuff. Then when I was there she was screaming at him because she wanted $300 to buy new luggage before she went on this trip, even though she already has new suitcases. When he told her no, she said she was going to beat the s#!t out of him and said "get the f--k out, I don't know why you even come back here." He told her it's because it's his apartment. The this morning she made a comment about beating his mother to death and he screamed at her to watch what she said and she started crying. He said that he usually consoles her but he didn't and just let her cry. And that she suspects that something is going on, that he's trying to get rid of her, but that she always says stuff like that, but that she has noticed that he has really distanced himself from her. He says that he's doing it emotionally and physically and he doesn't care if she notices because she needs to be snapped to reality, that she needs an attitude adjustment and that this event will tip things one way or the other and he'll know for sure what the future will be with her.

It's funny that he's talking like this now because a couple days ago he was saying that things weren't that bad and that he knows that he forgets, I told him that I'd remind him what she was like if he wanted. He didn't know if he'd be able to send her away, he said. Then we went over to his apartment to get some stuff and after she was screaming stuff at him while we were there, we left and he told me how he couldn't wait to call her up when she got there and tell her not to bother coming back.

If I'm correct, she's supposed to be leaving Tuesday the 7th but I'm not exactly sure yet, I'll update you when I know what's going on. He told me that today she wanted to go out for dinner so he was taking her to the "last supper", so I'll let you know what I find out from there.

twinkle · 03-03-2006, 04:42 PM

There is such a thing as abuse sufferend by men, inflicted by women. The problem is that if he chose to stay in that relationship and not correct it or leave immediately, he'll get stuck. Ever heard of the Stockholm syndrome? The victims are emotionally dependent of the abusers.

IMHO, he will not have his life back unless he finally decides to let her go. And then he'll put her out of his life, whether her lugage is made or not.

I think a "last supper" is a horrible idea. He should try to end it as soon, as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Last suppers will make him doubt, make him want to try harder.

You, as a friend, can't really help him, because it's his decision to make. Stick by him, let him talk to you, support him, and when he'll be ready, he'll do what he has to do. It's a tough job, but your friend's in a very dark place and he does need help.

Paul · 03-03-2006, 05:44 PM

It actually literally IS a last supper, she's flying out Sunday night. It's a couple days sooner than I thought, which is awesome, there's no turning back now. He was almost ecstatic when he told me this.

Paul · 03-05-2006, 07:32 AM

She's gone, as of 4:00 a.m. the airport shuttle picked her up to be shipped off to B.C., I've yet to talk to him but we're supposed to go to the gym this morning so I'll find out how he's doing.

Vautrin · 03-05-2006, 07:40 AM

Sounds good. Hopefully he can stick to his decision - which will be hard at times. And find out about the legalities - especially with this new pregnancy, things possibly will get extremely complicated.

Paul · 03-19-2006, 12:09 AM

She's back, he's an moron. She stole $1000 from him while away and he told me "I almost broke up with her", I told him "You're an idiot". I don't care anymore, I haven't talked to him in 3 days now, since she got back and I personally don't care if I do again. As soon as she got back, she called him while we were on the way back from the gym and started bitching at him for not being home, he ran home with his tail between his legs, at that point I saw that it was completely useless and have given up. Some people deserve what they get, if he can't realize that what he is doing is stupid, then let him have it. It's funny because he was calling my choices into question a week ago, I got a good chuckle over that. Ah well, good riddance.

Vautrin · 03-19-2006, 07:49 AM

. And what about the company?

Paul · 03-19-2006, 11:02 AM

He owes a lot of money to the person backing us, so our backer cut our 1-800 number which makes all of our canvassing and advertising completely useless. He made $1000+ out of it, I never got a cent but that's just the way life goes. I don't care anymore, I was just hoping that he'd learn a lesson out of this and obviously some people will never learn.