how to tell a friend they insulted you

[darkangelism]

Tonight i went out with the girl, i used to like, or thought i did, im still in lust with her, anyway she told me that she likes guys for personality, not looks, but she wont go out with me, which i took as a huge insult. I want to tell her that she hurt my feelings, but im not sure how to do it.

[Duke]

Maybe she didn't mean it the way you took it. It's quite likely that she may have never been interested in dating you at all, just as being a friend. Women seem to enjoy lots of friends by comparison to guys (at least in my circle of friends) where as guys want women as girlfriends or not at all.

[Star]

DA, I don't think the girl meant to hurt your feelings by letting you know that she doesn't want to date you. I had tons of guy friends that I wouldn't date. It is a normal thing for girls to have some guys that are just friends. She just doesn't feel that way towards you like you do her. Would it better if she had accepted then you found out later that she didn't have boyfriend/girlfriend feelings for you? You would've been hurt a lot more then you are now.

At least she's your friend. That has to count for something.

[Merika]

The guys in my life who aren't my friends anymore....are the ones who bugged me endlessly about going out with them (translating into sleeping with them or being a girlfriend).

It's probably the most annying thing a female has to deal with. Why don't you just be her friend......and wait to see if anything develops out of it. When the time is right....you won't have to ask and get your feelings hurt....you'll KNOW!

I don't think you have any reason to be upset with her. If she doesn't share your same feelings at this time....that's not her fault. For anyone to assume because they are interesting in someone...therefore that person should be interested them...are fooling themselves. It just doesn't happen that way.

[Samson]

she wont go out with me, which i took as a huge insult.

I'd think, at least by now, but really, DA, quite a few years ago, you would've gotten used to this.

Cowboy-UP,
Samson

[Stone]

Is this the indian Girl?

[Samson]

How is her ethnicity material?

[Stone]

It's not, I was just wondering if this was the girl he had been talking about lately.

[darkangelism]

yes its her, ok i was confusing in what i ment. Its not the fact that she wont go out with me that is my problem, its the fact that if she truely bases who she dates on personality and not looks, then what is wrong with my personality.

Anyway, after sobering up, i realized its not a big deal anyway, i dont and probably never will understand what goes on in her head.

In a semi related issue, i am starting to like her friend also, and she tells me that i shouldnt because im just gonna get my feelings hurt, and she doesnt want to see that happen, but she doesnt seem to care when she hurts my feelings.

[Stone]

Just continue to be friends with her and see how it goes. Don't tell her that it insulted you because I don't thnik she really ment to. Maby she just wants to be friends maby later she may change her mind. Who knows.

Is there a possibility that you are reading more into it than she intended? I really don't think that she ment to hurt your feelings and another tip DON"T EVER TELL A GIRL YOU LIKE THAT YOU ARE INTRESTED IN THERE FRIENDS. big no no my dear.

Hon don't feel bad because you don't understand what goes on in her head, you will never understand what goes on in ANY womans head LMAO Men just can't read our code :wink:

[Samson]

i am starting to like her friend also, and she tells me that i shouldnt because im just gonna get my feelings hurt, and she doesnt want to see that happen, but she doesnt seem to care when she hurts my feelings.

Well, you do seem to be a bit fragile.

Keep trying DA, surely there's a woman out there that appreciates a man with such delicate sensabilities.

[darkangelism]

Yeah i dont think she ment to insult me. I never knew about the dont tell girls that you like their friends, what happens because of it?

[Star]

what will happen is that you will blow any chance that you had with the girl that you liked. She'll think you like someone else and will lose interest in you. You don't want to do that just in case there was a chance right?

[darkangelism]

But wouldnt she want me more if she cant have me? and i dont think i have a chance anyway.

[Samson]

dont tell girls that you like their friends, what happens because of it?

Females. Unusual creatures, but one thing you can always count on DA, is that they are HIGHLY COMPETITIVE. Their tactics, as Stone menbtioned, are so far advanced of the average male mind that the intensity is unimaginable. But, You're a marketing type right? OK:

What happens when a customer tells a competitive company that they prefer their rival? Does the company call up their competitor to give them accurate, useful information about the interested customer??

Quite the opposite, and IT DOESN'T MATTER ONE BIT whether or not they are interested in you for themselves.

[Stone]

Nope that's games and everyone hate playing games. Chances are the girl will see a red flag and run.

[Star]

Originally Posted by darkangelism

But wouldnt she want me more if she cant have me? and i dont think i have a chance anyway.

you're playing head games with this girl and no, it doesn't work that way. If I guy I was interested in told me that he likes my friend, I'd lose interest and back off. Why would I chase someone who's interested in somebody else? Too many fish in the sea for playing that game. It's not impressive DA.

[darkangelism]

yeah sampson thats true, she might say bad stuff about me, it hasnt happened yet though, cause her friend still seems interested.

She doesnt like me anyway, so does it matter that i am liking somebody else? i need to move on anyway, no point in wasting a lot of time and effort on somebody who doesnt like me

[Stone]

I was friends with Greg for a few years before I had feelings for him

[Samson]

There you go, DA! Problem solved...

Just wait a few years, and she'll come around! :roll:

[darkangelism]

yeah, maybe, but im not gonna wait a few years for her, so ill try and have other relationships, like with her friend, maybe after a few years she will want a guy who will treat her right.


update: well it doesnt matter about her friend anymore, her friend got back together with her ex.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by Stone

Hon don't feel bad because you don't understand what goes on in her head, you will never understand what goes on in ANY womans head LMAO Men just can't read our code :wink:

It's not code; it's illogical which is why we can't make heads or tails from it.

[YellowLioness]

hey! LOL!

Guys are no better, love. Haven't you ever met a girl that you might possibly be interested in just to pass the time in between serious relationships? Someone you were moderatley interested in, but didn't REALLY care about?

How did you act towards her?

It's the same thing here with DA's situation. They liked him, they just didn't LIKE him.


DA, In my opinion, you're too needy. You want a girl WAY too bad, and that's a big turn off. Maybe if you concentrate on having fun and accomplishing your own goals in life, you will meet the right person for you.

BTW, I'm a needy S.O.B. too, DA. It's something that's hard to over come. You sort of have to...forget...that you want a partner. YOu have to take stock in yourself so that you can see everything you have to offer someone. AFter you do that, just go your own way. The rest will fall into place as it should.

[darkangelism]

but i dont think i act needy towards them, on here im more open.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by YellowLioness

DA, In my opinion, you're too needy. You want a girl WAY too bad, and that's a big turn off. Maybe if you concentrate on having fun and accomplishing your own goals in life, you will meet the right person for you.

Agreed. BTW, I was just kidding in my previous post, just interested to see what you gals would say

I think that many if not most of my relationships I wasn't all that interested in the gals. It may help to explain my problems with infidelity.