how in the name of crap do I deal with mom-in-law?!?!?!?!?

PiNtOBeAn · 01-13-2005, 03:05 PM

my mother-in-law to be is more of a nut than I am a bean.....everytime Im in close proximity to her for more than 5 minutes I have the strange desire to rip out handfulls of my own hair and run screaming into the nearest wall head-first simply to silence her voice. she always has this crazed look in her eyes that makes you not want to walk into a room where its possible she might be standing behind you. kinda like shes looking behing you with one eye and deep into the recesses of your soul with the other, and she does things like pulling into the driveway and screaming from the garage..."CAN SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THESE GROCERIES?!?!?!?!?!?!?" and then as youre en route to the garage she walks past you not carrying a freaking thing.....like the whole world owes her a favor. I love my fiancee more than life itself, and at the moment Ive managed to maintain a moderate amount of space between the two of us....but after weve tied the knot...I dunno, it just seems like avoiding her will be much harder to do, any suggestions on how I can deal with her and maybe overcome some of my horror at the thought of being in the same room as her?

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 03:10 PM

How old is she? Is she physically incapable of doing things? Do you live w/her? Does your fiance or anyone else have issues w/her? What is your mom like?

:oops: Sorry- I just need a bit more info before I just start comenting on someone's family situation

Stone · 01-13-2005, 03:14 PM

Inlaws suck! I would just try to be as Nice and Distant as possible, Or try to like her. Maby you could move to the next city or something?

But wait untill you have kids, ( if you want them) then she will most likley be around more, so I would say either try to understand her, or pilioetly distance yourself.

Merika · 01-13-2005, 03:21 PM

Faybelle brought up some good questions....which would better help determine what some suggested solutions may be.

If you guys aren't dependent on her for food or shelter....then as you create your own family....you can at least 'control' the situation a little more. If you are in school and need her assistance....then she may continue to be a little over bearing.

I'm a mother in law....and sometimes my daughter in law looks at me like I'm a complete LOON. It comes with the territory of the relationship. You both love the same person and the Mom part of the equation has to learn to let go. With some Moms....this takes a little longer than it should.

PiNtOBeAn · 01-13-2005, 03:28 PM

shes in her early-mid fifties, shes an elementary school teacher, she has no physical ailments as far as I can tell....I mean, shes capable of being up at three in the morning and waking everyone in the house up washing the same set of dishes 50 friggin times, nah, I dont live with her, but we stayed with her for a while.....lol, sound familiar faye? my fiancee says none of her boyfriends ever liked her, and she likes to say she doesnt mind her neurotic behavior, but everytime she talks to her on the phone she has this exasperated look on her face and when the phone rings, I answer it, its her, and I reach to give the phone to her, she looks like she could kill me, lol. and whenever were at the house she does everything humanly possible to push her mother further over the edge, which pushes me into hiding in the basement or the garage. so although she says she doesnt mind her, her actions say otherwise, and her brother just hides from her all the time and is away from home as much as possible and has nothing nice to say about her either....

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 03:36 PM

whatever you do DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR FIANCE'S MOTHER TO YOUR FIANCE!!!!! LOL it's ok if we talk about our mom's but we don't want anyone else doing it.
it already sounds like she's defensive about her mom's behaviour

Once it is your house w/your rules things will be easier- and she will prob mellow w/time. Most mom's don't trust their daughter's judgement in men so she may still be putting you thru a "trial"

how long have u and your fiance been tog?

Merika · 01-13-2005, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PiNtOBeAn

. and whenever were at the house she does everything humanly possible to push her mother further over the edge, which pushes me into hiding in the basement or the garage. so although she says she doesnt mind her, her actions say otherwise, .

I would make sure that your fiance is dealing with whatever probs she has with her Mom and not putting YOU in the middle of it....even if she's doing it subconsciously. It's not YOUR mom and you should've have to deal with it. Maybe she's just acting strange because she's going thru the change of life....it can drive a woman to bitchiness in a heartbeat!

PiNtOBeAn · 01-13-2005, 03:42 PM

wow, faye, youre a little slow on the uptake today or somethin, lol. weve been together for about a year and 5 mos now, lol....ah this is great.....

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 03:44 PM

i'm lost.....

PiNtOBeAn · 01-13-2005, 03:49 PM

you have been foiled by my little vegetable disguise, grasshopper, read my description of the situation again, closely, lol

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 03:52 PM

i am scared

did my brain stall today?

PM me you fool! unmask yourself!

YellowLioness · 01-13-2005, 03:52 PM

Ohh, dear. You CERTAINLY sound like MY fiance. He's a lovely man. 8O

Snooker, I don't know what to tell you. Mum is a bit batty, but I love her. How many times have I asked you to elope?

Now YOUR mom, on the other hand...what's her excuse? :roll:

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 03:54 PM

OMG- I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!!! LMAO- but i didn't think you'd be on here! LMaO

I'm a dummy yes i am! :P

PiNtOBeAn · 01-13-2005, 03:58 PM

she was a hippie and fried her brain with acid and liquor, lol. at least she lives farther away than yours, lol

Stone · 01-13-2005, 03:58 PM

ANYWAYS!! Glad to meet you pintobean!! You have a great gal

Merika · 01-13-2005, 04:01 PM

I'm lost.

Fayebelle · 01-13-2005, 04:02 PM

ladies meet yl's fiance pintobeans

pintobeans- these are the ladies