Fed up Mom

[Star]

Okay. I'm having a really bad day in the "mom" department today. I let all of the anger and thoughts out of my head on my family today. I exploded!

Here's the thing. I'm tired of feeling unappreciated, disrespected, taken advantage of and constantly asking myself "why am i here?!?"

All I wanted to do was sit down and watch one of the movies that i got at the video store today. Gerry watched one of his first (I hate his action ass movies) so I went and did my thing until it was finished. Well, kill me for wanting to sit down for 1-1/2 hours to watch a movie!! I had Kassandra yelling at me because she wanted to watch her "incredables" movie that she wouldn't of been able to finish in the first place because she is going to a dance tonight, Gerry yelling at me to let her watch it or put his other movie in. well, i flipped my lid!

I told them all that they're selfish, disrespectful, unappreciated idiots and I'm going on strike! I said, what am I even here for? oh wait, I remember now, to wash your dirty stinking underwear, cook, clean up after all of you slobs, make your lunches, set your clocks, make sure the bills get paid and take the blame for everything that goes wrong in your lives! I said the only one that does appreciate me around here is erika! I get a big smile after I feed, chage, bathe and get her up in the morning unlike what i get from everyone else around here! All I ever hear from kassandra is "mom!!! where's this and where's that? can you get this for me? can you make that?" and from gerry, make me this, that and set my clock, call my doctor, wash my pants....

to top it all off, the guy i bought my van from is jerking me around. it's still not ready!! 7 weeks later!! I'm about to blow my top on him too!

I do this about once a year. it's like i have a breakdown or something. I've been couped up in here for way too lojng and now everything is getting to me.

I'm going on stike until my family can help out around here! question is, can I live in the filth? :? 8O

thanks for letting me vent.

[Stone]

Flipping your lid is good once in a while, I am stubborn I would really strike for about a week, but I bet they would beg and apoligise after 2 days.

Sounds like you need to take some Star time :wink:

[Merika]

It seems to be worse when you are a home mom than when you work away from home. Everyone assumes you just don't have anything to do all day or that whatever routine or plans you have....aren't as important since you ARE home. I agree....you can easily begin to feel unappreciated and not respected for being a person too. I think this why many young moms end up chosing to go to work. At least they get a break and lunch time with no one bugging them. LOL!

Also...because you ARE home, you end up doing more for everyone than you would if you were working elsewhere. So again, you would like a little appreciation instead of everyone taking for granted and EXPECTING you to do it.

[Star]

I'm over it now. Gerry left me alone for most of the day and stayed out of my space, which I needed him to do.

My house is a total mess and i'm hating it. I don't think i'll be able to handle looking and living in this pig sty for much longer so i'll be cleaning either tonight or in the morning. If I don't do it, it won't get done. :?

I'll be going to my brother's place this afternoon so that will get me out of here for a bit. Hopefully kassandra won't want to come with me then she can stay here with erika and i can go alone. chances are, she'll want to tag along.

[Duke]

That's hilarious star, sorry, but rofl

The part that bothers me though is not that you flipped out (you had every reason to) but the ignorance of your family to let the house go because the butler was having tea. I really think that's weak and I see no reason why you shouldn't point that out to them.

[Star]

I do point that oout on a regular basis. in reality though, gerry does work 14 to 18 hour days and kassandra is a huge help with erika. he's been off for the past 3 days and seeing him being a couch potato while i'm running around the house getting things done got to me. This was the first day off since easter for him but still, i don't see why he can't do a little cleaning once in awhile around here.

that's okay. my family laughed at me too while i was screaming "mom on strike!!!!!!" LMAO!

[Merika]

If you are like me Star, it's not so much that you mind doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry, it's just picking up aimlessly behind other able bodied people which gets on your nerves. EVERYONE knows where the sink and laundry basket is!!!! It's like you pick up and pick up...then finally you yell 'WTF...this isn't MY STUFF!'.

[Star]

you got that right! LOL!

not only don't they know where the sink and laundry basket is, they have no idea where the garbage can is either! I'm waking up to a really messy house this morning. I was at my brother's place for only a couple hours, I come back and it's a mess again. I want to quit! LOL!

[Merika]

I used to hate working so many hours a day....just to come home to a trashed house. There were days I didn't even want to get out of the car and go inside. The bad part is....if you yell....everyone complains that you yell all the time....rather than realizing why you are upset and the part they played in it.

I told the kids if they pulled that again this summer....I was going to get myself a burger at Wendy's every night and not buy anything but bread and cheese for them until they straighten up. They both looked at me like 'yeah sure'......but they may get a big surprise.

[Star]

that's a great idea!

I started to straighten up the living room this morning and kassandra says "I thought you were on strike mom!!" and laughed. that's when i stopped the cleaning. I will clean today since i can't stand to live in a pig pen. BUT, I think i'll not make dinner tonight. they can make their own dinner. :wink:

When i did work, i used to come home to a trashed house too. I used to get so mad at them. I get home, i'm tired. Just wanted to relax on the couch and go to bed but instead, i had to clean my house. on my days off, i would clean my house. it really isn't fair but, I do have myself to blame for this result. I catered to gerry and my kids right from the start so now they're used to it and they don't appreciate it anymore.

The other day, i felt like packing my bags and running away from home. LOL! what was i thinking when i decided that i wanted kids and a husband?!? :? J/K. i do love them all to death. i'm just having a bad week here. Must be PMS'ing.

[Merika]

I wonder how other Moms handle it....then again....I've seen some awful messy houses. Maybe we just worry too much the way things look. I can't even relaxe if my house isn't in order. I sure wish I were different because life would be so much easier. I always feel like I'm disrespecting the few nice things I have if I don't take care of them. I'm the same way with the car.

[twinkle]

Star, you've got it all wrong. You should meet my mother - my sister and I are totally convinced she was at least a General in her past life. Boy, can she yell at us and boy don't we clean up our mess!

I tell ya, she's infernal :evil: . She's got this mean look and you don't want to be messing around when she's giving it to you. My sister was very stubornned as a little gir and yup, she got it. A lot. I can confirm you that she has developped a slight clean feak obsession - ok, I'm messier, but it's my own room and I do wash my stuff and take out the trash. She is very tidy. I'm proud of her !

However when I'm home - we all get the third degree! I remember I was 19 and going away to the university the last time she slapped me - didn't desirve it, but I did stand up to my sister who had been disrespectful towards her. I was too glad to be leaving, but kinda sad to de doing it under those terms. Didn't even say good bye, LOL!

Main point: Star you gotta make them! Make them do their own thing. Otherwise... I just don't see how you'll get everything done! It sounds impossible - 2 adults and one baby, one house... you've gt dogs, don't you?

[Star]

I've got a husband, a 13 year old, a baby and a dog here. I do it all. I did it all today...cleaned, dusted, windexed all the rooms, washed all the floors, vaciumed the stairs and uper hallway, did a couple loads of laundry (I have a ton more to do, that's tomorrow's main job), dishes and took care of Erika all day long. I've made dinner now I'm waiting for hubby to get home so he can eat then I can do the dishes again. I do this every single day of the week (except wash floors-once or twice a week for that). I'm usually all done by noon then I can shower, get dressed and have the day to do whatever until dinner time.

I have "that look" too and when I do throw that look off to them, they know i'm mad and mean business but, they still don't do a whole lot around here. I've been after Kassandra to clean her pig pen of a room (that now stinks to high heaven. PEWWW!!) for the last month!! I refuse to go in there to pick up her dirty clothes or clean it. I won't even dust in there or vacium, nothing. She doesn't seem to mind it that way but I do! I have to close her door because it's driving me insane! LOL! I haven't even washed her bedding at all either in the last month. I won't until she cleans it all up. Mean huh? LMAO!!

I'm not a fed up mom right now. I was having a really bad day and felt unappreciated that day. Since then, I do get "thank you's" at least now.

[twinkle]

Good God, Star, you're scaring me! I hope your girl does appreciate the mom she's got!

As for your hubby, I bet he's lost without you. I know that that's where mom hit first. Imagine they live in the same place for years and he still doesn't know where his stockings are .

Picture this: for the last 4 years, dad quit his job. he's got a pharmacy he hardly ever takes care of. Anyway, mom is the one making the money in that house. She has a house keeper that comes there a couple of times a week, even if we're away and I must say this is the best thing ever for her.

Take good care of yourself, Star, obviously everybody needs you!

[Star]

Originally Posted by twinkle

Good As for your hubby, I bet he's lost without you.

you betcha! He makes all the money but I'm the one who makes sure everything is paid on time, always. I tell him how much money I need to pay the rent, bills, groceries and baby stuff. I do all the budgeting and always have. he has no idea how to pay a bill or write a cheque.

I told him that he needs to know all of this just in case I died. He wouldn't know what to do!! When we had our construction business, I'm the one who did everything, he did the work. He wouldn't know how to keep books or pay the workers. :roll: