Fair Visitation (Fathers rights)

Duke · 08-28-2006, 07:53 PM

Does anyone know anything about this topic? Specifically, I need as much info., I can find on Fathers rights to fair visitation of a child he shares with an ex in Canada.

I'm not asking for custody related information as I'm not looking for custody, I'm just interested in seeing my child on a fair schedule. It's imporant to note that the two parents cannot communicate in a civil manner and also that all relavent information must be Canadian based.

Thank you,

Ken

Star · 08-28-2006, 08:39 PM

My suggestion to you duke would be to get a hold of a family lawyer and see what can be done as far as visitation goes. Usually though, it goes to court and a decision by the judge is the end result.

Duke · 08-28-2006, 08:47 PM

The wife of a friend of mine works with all kinds of lawyers (including family lawyers). I already asked him to get me the name of a family lawyer so hopefully I get to see one soon.

I also want to arm myself with knowledge on the matter simply because I feel as if I'm continually being taken advantage of by my ex. and I cannot stand for it any longer. It's not about my ex, it's not about me, it's not about how we feel about each other, it's about my daughter and her right to have a loving father. Dwoing is all I care about and I think I've made that painfully clear to anyone who knows me at every opportunity, so if a lawyer is what it's going to take to stop getting d1cked around, then a lawyer it is.

Star · 08-28-2006, 08:53 PM

as it stands now, you two have no custody agreements and visitation agreements apointed by the courts? if not, then yes duke, you need to get those agreements. once you have that on paper, then she can no longer jerk you around and use your visitations as a threat any longer. an agreement will be in the best interest for your daughter.

Duke · 08-28-2006, 09:09 PM

We do have court papers that were handled through Social Services back in May of '96 in regards to child support but I've never looked closely enough over the the remainder of the information. I'll have to pull these forms out and look over them more closely, thats for sure.

There has been so much press over the years about "dead-beat dads" but I now wonder how many of them are men that simply walked away because they could no longer deal with a woman willing to use a child as a pawn. I'm not saying that's what my ex is doing and I want to be perfectly clear about that but I am saying that there is definately a lack of understanding as to why I want to be with my child. Also, she feels that I have no life because I put my child first in front of everything else and that's one of her reasons (apparently). Quite honestly, I have no respect for anyone who looks at life any other way. Having a child and making them number one is the most imporant thing any parent can do so I have no idea what the hell she's talking about.

It also doesn't help that I was never particularily close to my father and I don't have a lot of warm, childhood memories with him and I together. I've made promises to myself and to my child that I will do everything in my power to give her all the posivite memories she can of her dad or die trying. I love my child more than life itself, she is the center of my world, she is the person in life who taught me kindness, understanding and most importantly, love, and I'll always be in debt to her for it.

TKDLady · 08-28-2006, 09:38 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this Duke. I figured all of this had already been settled when you got divorced. I don't know anything about custody or visitation or Canada law. I wish I could help you. I hope for the best for you and do understand putting your child first. My girlfriend did that when her husband left her and my friend, Dave, has always done that with his son. Our children are the future. They need a strong foundation. I hope your ex understands this soon too. Good luck.

Duke · 08-28-2006, 09:51 PM

We actually never married and I can't tell you how thankful I am for at least that much.

It's been 10 years of this crap off and on, sometimes she's really great but then her mood swings (or something) and I'm dirt again for an undetermined period of time. Personally, I don't care how she feels about me and now that I do know, I'm somewhat thankful because all the cards are on the table. The only problem now is that I officially feel equally about her and there's no turning back from that for me. Even if I could get past her continual judgement of me I can no longer allow it to affect my legal right to fair visitation with my child.

I don't think she'll ever fully understand what it's like to watch your child grow as a baby sitter or weekend play pal and not be involved in their day to day lives. It is the most gut wrenching thing I've ever had to do in my life and it's something I wish for no one to experience. Seeing my child for a weekend every two weeks and then dropping her off at the end of it is like having your heart torn from your chest. The experience has changed me over the years, softened me to a degree I never knew existed, and it's likely one of the fundamental reasons why I do my most to spend QUALITY time with her.

Star · 08-28-2006, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Quite honestly, I have no respect for anyone who looks at life any other way. Having a child and making them number one is the most imporant thing any parent can do so I have no idea what the hell she's talking about.

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't understand how any parent can put other things ahead of their children either.

My husband used to feel anger towards me because i put my children ahead of anyone and everyone, including him but since then, he now understands that i expect the same for him. i expect that our children come before me where he's concerned and they come before him where i'm concerned. it took years for him to understand this but he does now and we both wouldn't have it any other way. i feel that's how it should be when you decide to have a child (children).

you have a life; a life with your daughter. hopefully, your ex will come to realize this soon also.

the agreement with social services, was that done through a court of law? if not, it should've been. even so, this agreement is 10 years old. things change so putting another one in place would probably be a good idea to do. It wouldn't hurt to renew it so you can have more visits with your daughter if that's what you wish to do. I cna't see a court of law denying you that right. you have been a big part of your daughter's life thus far so i can't see how that would be denied at all.

Duke · 08-28-2006, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Star

the agreement with social services, was that done through a court of law? if not, it should've been. even so, this agreement is 10 years old. things change so putting another one in place would probably be a good idea to do. It wouldn't hurt to renew it so you can have more visits with your daughter if that's what you wish to do. I cna't see a court of law denying you that right. you have been a big part of your daughter's life thus far so i can't see how that would be denied at all.

Yes it was done through court so it is a legally binding document. You are right that it is 10 years old so it's likely time to renew the agreement.

Thanks a bunch folks, venting has definately helped me deal with this a bit better (believe me, it's tough).

Paul · 09-04-2006, 09:09 AM

Did you get the information you were looking for? Let us know how this turns out!

Merika · 09-07-2006, 01:15 PM

I sent you a bunch of links in PM.

Your hands aren't tied.

When parents have never been married and don't live together, the question of custody can become a huge issue. This is especially true when the parents can't agree on an arrangement for their child. Usually one parent has the child living with her or him. If the other parent is actively involved in the child's life and both parents make decisions about the child together, then they have joint custody.

If the parents of a child:

are not living together when the child is born,
have not lived together since the child's birth, and
the non-custodial parent is not involved with the child,

then the parent the child lives with has âde facto sole custodyâ. De facto sole custody means an assumption of sole custody, but without legal documents to back it up.
If this is your situation, it is a good idea to have papers stating that you have sole custody. If a situation arises with the childâs other parent, the police are reluctant to get involved without an order stating that you have sole custody. This could cause delays in getting your situation dealt with properly. You will need a lawyer. To find out more about this, you can use the Lawyer Referral Service to meet with a lawyer for 30 minutes for $10 plus tax. Call 1-800-240-9798 or 892-0853 to reach the Lawyer Referral Service.

in addition, Paris is 9 years old. NOT a baby. She has some say in this.

Children may have a say in the question of custody. The Act says that the views and preferences of the child are to be taken into consideration wherever possible. The judge decides how appropriate it is to take into account the child's wishes. The older and more mature the child, the greater weight his or her wishes will have on the courtâs decision.

http://www.cangrands.com/legalfaq.htm