Brother and Friends

Link_BaconBitz · 10-03-2005, 07:51 AM

It was a matter of weeks ago that my brother, 17 years old by the way, came home drunk... she brought him home. We also discovered that he had starting smoking and has been for quite awhile. I can tell this bothers our mother and I'm not sure she knows what to really do about it... and of course my opinion of him hasn't exactly gotten better either... The smell can be awful... I don't even want to go towards his room unless I have to. He is a good person at heart, even though he makes some of the not so bright decisions he does. One other thing I've noticed now, is when they argue and my brother is angry, he goes around spewing the f-bomb. This doesn't sit well with me either, I don't think you should EVER say that stuff around your parents even if it's not directed at them.

This brings me to my friends... recently my friend Mike was down visiting and I found out he smokes too and he offered me, but I declined... at which point he says, "Damn Dave, no drinking, no smoking..." The way in which he said it, to me sounded like he thought that was a bad thing. This bothers me... I might have misunderstood him though. It urks me, because it's like he was saying, "come on, ruin your health, regardless of what YOUR choice is". Drinking is another story, I told him when we hit 21, I don't mind to try out some different kinds of drinks, but it's like all I hear about is drinking... like thats all there is to life... drinking, getting wasted, drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking... FOR GOD'S SAKE... I'm tired of hearing about alcohol. My friends are good people and all, but add all this and the fact that Mike's sense of humor can something be overdone and aggravate me...

I'm not really asking any questions here, but if anyone would comment, please do. I just wanted to get some of this off my chest.

Vautrin · 10-03-2005, 08:07 AM

It is a hard situation. And you can't control your brother's behavior. Only he can, if he wants to. If you don't approve of his behavior, become a bit less involved, especially if he is the one disrupting the way your family interacts / lives with each other.

As for your friends, don't let it bother you too much. You declined. And they should be fine with that, regardless of their beliefs about smoking. If they keep pressurizing you, or even start to exclude you from your social life (the only places they insist on going being bars, or sit somewhere with the sole intention of getting drunk), you may need to let some distance develop between you and them, and start to look for new friends

.

It is not a solution you would be happy about, but you don't have to start drinking and smoking because someone else wants you to.

Weiser · 10-03-2005, 11:39 AM

I didn't start smoking until I was 21. Wish I never started.

I started drinking around 13 though, as did all of my friends.

I respect the fact that you do neither. More power to you. But you do have to realize that your friends and your brother are not you and they are going to do what they want. Just keep on saying no and you'll be fine. They should drop it soon anyways once they realize that you are not interested at all.

darkangelism · 10-03-2005, 12:47 PM

Your parents are letting him do it, and there isnt anything you can do to stop him, so follow your path and not drink or smoke. You will be heathlier for it, most of the peope on this site drink or smoke and you will outlive us because you dont.

Weiser · 10-03-2005, 01:30 PM

Well he could get hit by a bus or something and die, in which case we would outlive him and you would be wrong :P

darkangelism · 10-03-2005, 01:43 PM

lol, i guess thats true.

Duke · 10-03-2005, 07:10 PM

I'm glad that you haven't folded to the peer pressure around you Link, good for you.

If it were me, I'd try to catch my brother at a good time and tell him how I feel about his actions. He may not change because of what your saying but I bet it will give you some peace just knowing you got it off your chest.

As for your friends, if they continue to pressure you with cigs and booze then their not friends, plain and simple. A friend is someone who not only respects your decisions, but supports them as well.

Merika · 10-08-2005, 09:13 PM

I smoke....doesn't make me evil. I think we can worry far too much what other people do.....rather than realizing our life is our own and the only person we have to answer for is ourselves. As long as you are proud of who you are and of your own choices.....forget the rest. Each person has a right to chose their own path....with or without your approval.

Sometimes we only see people from the outside and don't realize there may be a reason why they chose a different path than your own. Love them anyway.