Blast regarding his family

[twinkle]

Ok, apparenty yesterday was not "a good day for science" as Dexter would put it.

I have bought for Ludo's parents a dvd with images from different places in Romania. Here's where the drama beggins. I discovered in the packed gift another dvd (in ENGLISH) with the monasteries of Moldova. Ok, those are cute too.

If the dvd wouldn't have been made 12 years ago and if the guy wouldn't have actually filmed his feet, things would have been great. So my bf calls and tells me in detail - he works in the field, btw. What can I say... never felt worst.

It doens't stop here. After practically "destroying" the dvd's attributes, he tells me not to worry because his parents generally liked it - they actually looked at 50 minutes of bad filmed churches in a language they didn't understand.


I get a sms from them thanking me for the dvd and for the present I got them. What do I do? I answer appologising for the poor quality of it and saying something that 'the quality norms in Romania are far behing those in EU and I have forgotten that".

Well, apparently, his mom took it a bit personally. I admit, it was way too official, but I'm studying Business, to me it's current language. Plus I speak French worse than English... Anyway...

Today I ordered some flowers and added a little note saying I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. Did I blow it up again?


They'll receive the flowers tomorrow morning. I mean it's a stupid dvd, ok, I got tricked, but who'd ve known?


Being a forigner sometimes sucks

Twinkle

[Merika]

HAHA Twinkle. I could see where if FEELS like a fiasco...but it's only a present where the thought was supposed to count.

I'm sure they appreciated the thought. Even if the quality wasn't super and the language was off.....the appreciate of churches are universal. I think it was a WONDERFUL gift!!!

[Samson]

WOW,

BTW; So good to read you, welcome back!

Well, Twinkle, Twinkle, Twinkle. All roads to hell are paved with good intentions, aren't they?!?!

the guy wouldn't have actually filmed his feet

I don't get it: Were they disappointed that "the guy" didn't film.....er....more of "himself?"

[twinkle]

LEt's just say he had previously tried to film a sort of a cage where a monk lived, realized he couldn't do it, the camera moved suddenly... and he kept this too in the footage. He was caughing while talking, the quality of the camera was that poor that the black looked like dark green etc....

so, yeah, I was sooo disapointed they didn't see the guy. I personally would have broken his neck!

But the thing ain't that. IT's the fact that his mom was a bit pissed by my business like tone. I think she thought that I thought she wasn't gratefull and appreciative, hence the "quality normes" .

I sent her flowers, for crying out loud. I think now I've exagerated. Well, tomorrow they'll get them. With my luck, They won't be home and I'll get a bunch of dead expensive flowers at my door two days from tomorrow...


Do you think I've went too far by sending flowers? I attached a little note saying that I was sorry for the misunderstanding and that I was praying that the next year would bring me more inspiration. God, I wish I had slept today and pressed "fast forwards" for this day.


It is kinda funny now that I think of it. If it doesn't happen to you !

[twinkle]

Sorry, the camera man filmed a "cave" not a cage. Freudian slip, I guess.

(Thanks Samson, very nice to be here and to hear from you.)

Twinkle

[Merika]

I'm sure they were touched by the flowers. Chances are they didn't think it near as bad as your boyfriend did since he's more familiar with this field.

I still think it was a wonderful present. My parents would've loved it.

[Samson]

Twinkle, this little situation reminds me of a more global one that I'd like your opinion about.

It has always seemed to me that people of the world outside the US expect the worst results of almost any endeavor, and are always grateful when anything better happens.

But the opposite is true of Americans, who expect the best results of almost any endeavor, and are always astonished when anything worse happens.

Do you think this is true? :?:

Obviously, I'm making an illogical generalization. Nonetheless, it seems that it is true often enough:

Your expectations of BF parents being disappointed amaze me: I (American) would expect them to be extraordinarily grateful for your thoughtfulness in providing the DVD, and would have been f@#$ing astonished to find they would react differently.

If they exibited the slightest degree of disappointment, then the LAST thing I'd do is send flowers and hope they'd forgive me! In fact, my reaction would be to suggest they firmly shove the DVD up their......well, I must remember our forum rules now mustn't I? :twisted:

But then, Twinkle, you're a whole lot sweeter than I am. :wink:

[Merika]

Originally Posted by Samson

It has always seemed to me that people of the world outside the US expect the worst results of almost any endeavor, and are always grateful when anything better happens.

But the opposite is true of Americans, who expect the best results of almost any endeavor, and are always astonished when anything worse happens.

Interesting concept. I'll have to think about that one for awhile.

[twinkle]

No no no, Ludo's parents were wonderful about the tape. They thanked me for spoiling them and for giving them insight into the Romanian culture, LOOL. Which only made me feel worse.

Oh, I cannot answer your statement and generalise it about all of the Europeans. I think Westerners expect to have a ratherer high rate of return on investment too than otherwise.

You see, as much I'd like to say "we're all European", there'll always be a huge difference between Eastern Europe and Western Europe, even now after more than 15 years of freedom. The menthalities, at least in my country... are the most resistant to change. The black market was more than 60% 5 years ago. MEaning most products you got on the market were under suspicion of being forged. Even now the parfumes, 90% of them I think are not the original ones.

I have forgotten this.

If they could get away with it, most Romanians would get involved in faul business. Not because they're mean or uneducated, but they have lived under such a precarity for most of their live that right now no matter how much they' d gain... it's not enough. And everyone knows it and fears the other. That's why, at least East Europeans, expect the worst. Even when they pay for very expensive products or services. It's always there in the back of their mind.

In my country there's no such thing as long term thinking. They take as much as they can today. Tomorrow who knows? We all could be dead. Like my dvd. So what if foreigners spend fortunes on 13 years old footage?

It's only normal for West Europeans and Americans to be different. A different experience. Different background.



I sent them flowers, Samson, because deep down I was ashamed. Not of the quality of the tape or the fact that they had swaped it. But that Romanians had the courage to sell this crap and call it a good service. I wanted to die of shame. This is the image of my country. They had stolen from me. I wish the dvd was blank. I wish there were no dvd inside and we'd have called it a day. It was pure mockery.


The mere fact that you see what happened to me should be an answer to your question. We expect the worst because that's what we mostely get if not extra extra careful.

[Merika]

That was a very interesting analogy. I could see where Runamia may still live under some black market scare that everyone is out to get them....because for centuries they lived in such fear. I would assume Russia is quite similar.

Sometimes, I think we look at countries like Iraq and expect them to fight for something they've never known and aren't even sure what it is yet.

[Fayebelle]

Ah Twinkle- don't feel obligated to apologize for your country of origin. I grew up in a very "hick, country, redneck" area and often felt I had to hide the backwoods mentality of the region.

The fact is they are probally impressed that you are so different from the citizens you were raised around. It takes a lot of natural morals and character to rise above everything you were raised around. Just let that DVD stand as an example of your begining in this world and measure how far you've risen.

**hugs**

[twinkle]

The person that was most impressed was the father. Apparently, French people don't send flowers. Indeed, they are expensive.

It's nice to feel like the difficult moment had been overcame.

They truly are a special family. The more French people I meet, the more I realise it.

[Fayebelle]

I'm glad it turned out well in the end

[twinkle]

I know the solution to my problem: I'll only buy what I can thoroughly check and when it comes to wraping it, I'll watch the salesman more attentivily than if he were disarming a bomb. Heck, I won't wrap gifts anymore .

[Fayebelle]

Suddenly Twinkle is barred from every shop in Europe for harrassing the salespeople LOL

[twinkle]

Nah, I'll be tactfull. I'll say I want to wrap them myself. Only if they oppose resistence I'll beat the heck out of them!