Men vs Women

[Star]

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


6. CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children.

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


AND FINALLY...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack arses, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"


"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."

[Duke]

lol, I thought I read a similar post to that here a while back but I may be mistaken. It's a pretty accurate account of differences between men and women IMO.

[darkangelism]

the oneon marriage is pretty true, ever girl i know expects the man to change.

[Star]

I found this all to be so true; with me and my life anyhow. Isn't it amaizing how different women and men are? we really don't think alike at all. Maybe that's why hubby and I end up butting heads over some issues. he's so wrong with some decision making and he just can't see that i'm right! MEN!! LMAO!

[Duke]

I'd have to say the same for women when it comes to over use of emotion in certain situations. I've definately been in a relationship or two where my gal was in tears and I had absolutely no idea why and/or if I was responsible. :?

[Star]

Originally Posted by Duke

I'd have to say the same for women when it comes to over use of emotion in certain situations. I've definately been in a relationship or two where my gal was in tears and I had absolutely no idea why and/or if I was responsible. :?

you didn't know why because you're a man. we always have valid reasons for crying. :P

women are more emotional then men are with everything. i cry at weddings and when i see a baby being born on TV. I don't even have to know the people and i cry. men aren't like that.

[Rock]

I have wondered sometimes if women are able to cry on purpose to try to change a man's behavior. Do you cry sometimes not because it is an emotional response but because it is a manipulative tool? When I say "you" I mean any women, not you Star because I do not think that you in paticular would do it but I just wonder how many women are just faking it. Better yet if you could tell me how to tell if they are faking I would really appreciate it.

[Vautrin]

Don't overextend the generalizations, as there are exceptions.

Of my whole family, I cried heaviest when we left church to bury my maternal grandmother. Even the much younger grandchildren did not cry as heavy as I.