Headlines and classifieds Leno would love

[Fayebelle]

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of
the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly
served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef, $2.25;
Children, $2.00.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an
extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in
factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at
night.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For Sale -- eight puppies from a German Shepard and an
Alaskan Hussy.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so service-
able that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit one.

For rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Christmas-tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find
person.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your
home for $1.00.

[Merika]

:wha:

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in
factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at
night.

I can't decide which one I want to apply for!

[Duke]

lol, classic.

[Luba]

Those are so funny