English is a Stupid Language

[Merika]

(I got this in email)

English is a Stupid Language

Lets face it...
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

[Star]

isn't that the truth! LOL!!

[RandomSkater]

Actually, there's alot of people that say english (atleast american english) is an easy language.

[dogula]

I'm no linguistic expert, but I'm pretty sure that there are few grammatical differences between the American and British English. Most of the differences are in pronunciation, loanwords, and some minor differences in morphology. And of course we spell some words differently thanks to Webster.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by RandomSkater

Actually, there's alot of people that say english (atleast american english) is an easy language.

I've actually heard the exact opposite.

[dogula]

From what I've heard it is easy to get decent at, but pretty hard to get good at.

[RandomSkater]

My grandpa is an exchange student coordinator, so I've been around foreign people all of my life.

The main problem I've seen that makes american english hard for people is slang words or sayings and pronouncing "th", "r" and "l" (mostly for asian students).

[Luba]

Originally Posted by Merika

the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

Maybe it's because it could be mistaken for something else?

I'm in a very goofy mood today...I'm not telling what I even mean by that because I don't really know...

[Animal]

english is the hardest language to learn because of the lack of accents AND all the stuff in that little poem
oh and for the record, a pineapple IS a type of apple

[Vautrin]

I would place my bets on something like Chinese, or Russian. Especially Chinese must be hard with all the intonations.

Pronounciation of English is very hard to learn. That is something with which I am still struggling (it was cute in South Africa). My writing on the other hand is good though.

[Merika]

I can't imagine learning Chinese or any Asian language.

Vautrin...I LOVE the English accent in South Africa! I think the only English accents I don't like are the New York Brooklyn thing and Boston.

[Vautrin]

I like the accent too. But it is hard to master.

I am mostly writing in UK English, writing with American English speakers online (that is the customs, greeting part), and then have to twist my throat in producing SA English. In short, I am messing the three up constantly.

[Merika]

Well..it's hard to learn because there are so many variations in the English language as to how to pronounce something.....based on the location. If I was ever going to learn a certain pronunciation though...it would be the South African english version. It's so smooth sounding.